COMFORT ZONE

People living or had experienced to live on their own may understand the comfort of living a life within a four walls home separated from the noise of the outside world. I called this my comfort zone and my sweet escape. A place where I can be my own self and can take off the mask I need to wear when I go out and step outside of my home to face the world. Sounds cliché but in my own opinion and based on own experience, it is the best decision I have ever made into my life.

During this time, I may had separated and excluded myself to other people including my own family and closest friends. However, this is also the time I felt I am closest to God. There were a lot of moments and challenges that I had to face on my own and the only thing that kept me going is my faith with God. These had tested my trust and relationship with Him that I almost would like to give up and throw the towel. When I was on my lowest and shed so many tears, all I could do was to embrace myself and to kept on believing that one day everything will be okay. That no matter what was happening to me at that moment, with God I know that I will be all right. Even if I don’t know what I am doing and where I will go, I just keep on going knowing that I am with God, and he will never let me go. He will always guide me on what is best for me.

These four walls in my room witnessed a lot of these happenings for how many years now. How many times I stumbled and kept getting back on my own feet. How I looked in the mirror to see how I smile to my own reflection feeling if I really have the genuine happiness within me. I waited patiently until the day that the sparks in my eyes finally returned. When I could feel happy with myself and accepted who really I am.

These walls have been my silent cheerleader with my unspoken dreams. A blank space I looked every time my mind wonders and get lost with my overthinking. Several one-way communications and discussions have been done in this place. The audience when I showed my hidden talents, listener to my singing and watcher on my dancing. Observer for the goals I secretly plan and trying to achieve. My coach when I am building my confidence and character.

I may have a lot of setbacks and failures hidden here, too scared for me to share outside of these walls. Hoping they will be kept as a secret within these walls until the right time comes that I am ready to share it to others. Or maybe will stay as secrets kept inside these treasured walls.

This place is maybe my comfort zone, but this is also my strong foundation. This is a battlefield where I fought a lot of my unsaid battles. The place where I conquered my heartaches, sadness, failures and insecurities. This sheltered me when I motivates myself to overcome my fears and pursue my passions. So many untold stories I am keeping behind these four walls of my sanctuary.

I had to admit I only have few selective people that were given a chance to have a glimpse of my unknown life within my four walls boundaries, mostly my closest families and friends. Slowly I am trying now to walk out of my walls and experience the beauty of life outside. Ready to share on my own little ways my life experiences and hoping to be a blessing to others.