Come what may

We drove up the snowy windy road to the cozy A Frame cabin. It was quiet in the car. No Music just the sound of tires in the snow. If you’ve ever been in a theater waiting for the movie to start but it doesn’t, theres just an uncomfortable waiting, that’s how it felt in the car. Jules sat in the passenger seat her eyes drifing across the dark shadows as they passed,”We should have brought Abby.”

Allan shook his head, “Babe we talked about this, this is for us, we need this, she’ll be there when we get back.” Allan reached over and gently squeezed Jules thigh, Jules smiled, but her gaze remained out the window as she held his hand in hers. The gps chimed in with news that their destination was approaching up on the right side. Jules let Allans hand go and he pulled into a long driveway that went on for quite a bit till a small light in the distance came into focus. Allan parked the car and turned to smile at Jules but her gaze was still outside the window.

The cabin was quaint but quiet and cozy. A small space with just the right attention to detail. An old fashioned fire place, colorful rug on the floor, a cute pantry with blue cabinets, and an old fashioned red and white vintage stove.

There was no door to the bedroom just an empty frame with a large bed covered in sheep skin. “See I told you it was good we didn’t bring Abby” Allan joked gesturing to the door frame. Jules gave a half hearted smile leaning on the counter. Allan set the bags down and swept Jules into his arms.”Jules just for tonight, this brief moment, can we just pretend.” Jules looked away and a few stray tears leaked down her cheeks. Allan wiped them away and leaned down as he used his hand to gently pull her head up till she was forced to look him in the eyes. ”Just for tonight, lets let it all go, we can drink wine in front of the fire, laugh like we used to, lets just be happy tonight, tomorrow isn’t going anywhere, what is it you used to say, about beautiful moments.”

Jules smiled, ”that there are moments in life that are so beautiful they make time stop and nothing can touch them or ever take away from us.”

”you said more than that.”

Jules laughed looking down. “Something about how those moments are what carry us through life, that when we die they're the only moments we’ll remember, cause they were the brief moments when we were awake enough to see and feel how beautiful it all really is” she choked out as tears rolled down her face. “ I can’t believe you remember all that?” She laughed.

”that was when I fell in love with you.”What were some of those beautiful moments Jules?” Allan asked holding Jules tight in his arms now. Jules nestled her head into his shoulder her tears soaking his shoulder, her body quivering.

”the first time I held Abby” she choked out, “the first time we stayed up all night talking.” “She paused for a moment,”there’s so many”.

”can’t tonight be another.”

”It’s so hard Al” She wept.

”I know”

”no you don’t” Jules pulled away.

”You think I don’t know”Allan winced,”you dont think I feel like I’m dying too Jules, you don’t think I feel everything that you feel.” “I’m dying every day”

”But you’re not, you're not dying”. Jules walked off to the side her eyes down,”you know I wish I could be that strong beautiful woman that knows that death is hard for the living and spends my last days reassuring you and telling you how I want you to move on after I die and be happy and blah blah.” She grabbed a bottle of wine out of their luggage and started shuffling around for a wine opener. She started pulling clothes and everything else out, tossing all the contents randomly onto the ground, till her hands wrapped around it and she pulled it triumphantly out of the bag. She put the corksrew in and started to drill it in.

“I just thought” started Allan stopping as he watched her struggling with the bottle. Jules had the bottle in between her thighs and was hopelessly tugging at the corkscrew to open it. Allan walked over and took the bottle from her hands. “ I just thought that tonight we could just forget, just for one fucking night” he said grabbing the bottle and pulling on the corkcrew that was refusing to budge. “fuck“ he exclaimed pulling to no avail. It took close to a half hour of both of them trying, pulling, readjusting the screw, pulling, readjusting, before finally the cork popped out. “Jesus” Allan exclaimed. “Well, find us some wine glasses.”

”oh fuck it“ said Jules and she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a swig before Slowly sliding her back down the wall.

“You gonna share that“

”You’re going to have to meet me down here”

“Never had a problem meeting you down there before”

Jules laughed.

“Hey Jules”

”what?”

”Its a beautiful moment.”

Jules smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. So they lit a fire, they drank wine, they laughed about the past, forgot the present, made love like it was the first time, and slept hard. Jules woke up early missing Abby so they left at sunrise. As they got into the car Jules looked up and watched the way the sun splintered though the trees and glinted off the icicles that were slowly melting. Time seemed to stop for a moment as she watched the water dripping from the icicles, she could see tiny rainbows bursting with light inside them as they slowly melted. “Its always beautiful.”