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Cofart

Verb: to expel air from the lungs in an attempt at covering expelling air and sound from the anus. Noun: the act or sound of someone coughing to try to hide a loud fart.

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published 6 months ago Updated 5 months ago 1 min read
17
Cofart
Photo by Kyler Nixon on Unsplash

I was awakened by my mother’s sharp elbow meeting my ribs.

“Wake up, you’re embarrassing me.” She hissed.

I gave myself a shake as I realized we were still nowhere near the end of the service. I stifled a yawn and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before I caught the eye of my sister’s smug expression.

I shot her a dirty look and tried to find our place in the hymns book. But just as I had found it the song had come to an end and that was when the real trouble started.

Mrs. Walker, who always sat in front of us, leaned forward to cough and another sound escaped. Brrraaappahpahpah, it sounded like marbles falling onto a hardwood floor, in the middle of pure silence.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire congregation heard it.

Being a boy of eight, a smile crept across my lips.

My mother glared down at me in a look of warning.

On my other side, I could hear my sister starting to giggle.

Which my mother responded to with a slap on the shoulder and then on my mother’s other side, father began to chuckle too.

That’s when I broke and the entire family laughed as the preacher tried to ignore us and continue his sermon.

It made for a very memorable last Sunday at our church and thusly concludes the story of how a Cofart made it so we never had to suffer through another church sermon again.

Short StoryMicrofictionHumorHistoricalfamilyExcerptClassical
17

About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for stopping by!! 💚💙💜🩵

If you are interested in longer works by me, I have two books published on Amazon.

Jogger's Trail and Fox in The Hole.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (12)

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  • noor4 months ago

    good work!

  • Novel Allen5 months ago

    Wow! I missed all these wonderful words. You were having a ball back here.

  • Grz Colm5 months ago

    Hahahahah 😆 This whole thing was funny.. “wake up you’re embracing me”… oh dear! 🤣🤣🤣 Nice work Donna!!

  • ThatWriterWoman5 months ago

    I love the fact you set this in a Church service haha!

  • Dana Crandell6 months ago

    Oh, so much to enjoy here, Donna! Not only is the story hilarious and very relatable, I like the fact that you defined both the noun and verb! Great job!

  • Haha this brought back so many memories of laughing at inappropriate times, talking a little too loud, and getting caught playing paper football in the pews. Well done Donna!😊

  • Ewwww! Hahahahahahahaa! You described the sound but not the smell. Was is bad? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also, I'm beginning to wander if you have an unhealthy obsession with farts. Like you have some sort of fart fetish 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Loved your word and hilarious story D!

  • Kendall Defoe 6 months ago

    I am so stealing this... *cough* 😳💨

  • JBaz6 months ago

    Your use of “nouns” is turning into a high light of my reads. What new word will we be learning soon? Lol, you have an excellent warped sense of humour.

  • Lamar Wiggins6 months ago

    Lol. Finally, this sly and much appreciated occurrence has been defined. Thank you! 😅

  • Alexander McEvoy6 months ago

    Cofart to the rescue! That was awesome, Donna :) I have a few friends with funny church stories (luckily I never had to go growing up) and this one would definitely fit in with the best of them!

  • Cathy holmes6 months ago

    Lol. Good one.

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