Cofart
Verb: to expel air from the lungs in an attempt at covering expelling air and sound from the anus. Noun: the act or sound of someone coughing to try to hide a loud fart.
I was awakened by my mother’s sharp elbow meeting my ribs.
“Wake up, you’re embarrassing me.” She hissed.
I gave myself a shake as I realized we were still nowhere near the end of the service. I stifled a yawn and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before I caught the eye of my sister’s smug expression.
I shot her a dirty look and tried to find our place in the hymns book. But just as I had found it the song had come to an end and that was when the real trouble started.
Mrs. Walker, who always sat in front of us, leaned forward to cough and another sound escaped. Brrraaappahpahpah, it sounded like marbles falling onto a hardwood floor, in the middle of pure silence.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire congregation heard it.
Being a boy of eight, a smile crept across my lips.
My mother glared down at me in a look of warning.
On my other side, I could hear my sister starting to giggle.
Which my mother responded to with a slap on the shoulder and then on my mother’s other side, father began to chuckle too.
That’s when I broke and the entire family laughed as the preacher tried to ignore us and continue his sermon.
It made for a very memorable last Sunday at our church and thusly concludes the story of how a Cofart made it so we never had to suffer through another church sermon again.
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Donna Fox (HKB)
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Comments (12)
good work!
Wow! I missed all these wonderful words. You were having a ball back here.
Hahahahah 😆 This whole thing was funny.. “wake up you’re embracing me”… oh dear! 🤣🤣🤣 Nice work Donna!!
I love the fact you set this in a Church service haha!
Oh, so much to enjoy here, Donna! Not only is the story hilarious and very relatable, I like the fact that you defined both the noun and verb! Great job!
Haha this brought back so many memories of laughing at inappropriate times, talking a little too loud, and getting caught playing paper football in the pews. Well done Donna!😊
Ewwww! Hahahahahahahaa! You described the sound but not the smell. Was is bad? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also, I'm beginning to wander if you have an unhealthy obsession with farts. Like you have some sort of fart fetish 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Loved your word and hilarious story D!
I am so stealing this... *cough* 😳💨
Your use of “nouns” is turning into a high light of my reads. What new word will we be learning soon? Lol, you have an excellent warped sense of humour.
Lol. Finally, this sly and much appreciated occurrence has been defined. Thank you! 😅
Cofart to the rescue! That was awesome, Donna :) I have a few friends with funny church stories (luckily I never had to go growing up) and this one would definitely fit in with the best of them!
Lol. Good one.