Cocaine Bear - Movie Review

The Plot of The Movie

All right cocaine back so cocaine I'm gonna give you the actual plot of cocaine back some blow is jettisoned from a plane over a park so these drug Runners are looking for the snow a cop is looking for them for good measure there's a mom looking for her two kids who decided to go gallivanting in the park that day oh very dangerous because yes there is a coked out bear who found the stash and now the bear is on a rampage fish this is the kind of movie that makes me feel like I've I've gone mad I've gone insane you can find my sanity down the precipice of Madness some people coming out of the movie seem to be enjoying it I'm glad this movie is ass though this movie had me spending time with these pockets of human characters on their own little arcs and never got me to give a damn about them you gotta care about the human characters otherwise it doesn't feel like they're any Stakes but maybe we're here to watch the bear tear people apart have some fun Gore comedy with our humans otherwise known as cannon fodder that was even unfulfilling this movie is a dark horror comedy I'm saying that going off the trailer because the trailer made it look that way this movie looks like it tried to be that there were quite a few moments in this movie where I was like I get what you were going for I mean in that same way when you're watching baseball you see someone just swing their ass off and miss the ball you're like well you were trying for a home run doesn't mean it happened the thing is for the movie trying to be a horror or Gore comedy it was just never funny.

Not Funny

Gore can be funny I mean there's a scene in this movie where someone accidentally gets shot in the head accidentally shooting someone in the face can be funny Pulp Fiction is a testament to that I knew something was very wrong early in the film well 20 minutes into the film because I was like oh my God nothing's happening how long would we've only been here for 20 minutes I thought that was an hour but all in all it felt like Lieutenant Commander Data I know I've used this comparison before but I don't feel I use it often enough so I'm gonna use it again Star Trek the Next Generation Lieutenant Commander Data he would try to do poetry or comedy it just didn't land the pieces were there but it lacked that human element that landed with the audience everyone's like oh God when's this gonna be over that's what it felt like in this movie when someone lost a limb or died and it's clearly constructed in a way that's supposed to make the audience laugh but it doesn't it's almost like it's accidentally Grade B.

Grade B Gore when purposefully done to be so can be fun absolutely when it's accidentally Grade B just comes across a sad plot twist cocaine bear never tried to be funny it would almost make it worse or make it Immortal. okay so it's not funny is it scary or intense no to both of those the editing was choppy and clunky as well one scene that stands out, in particular, is they're walking and someone's like oh my gosh the bear might be in there remember that body we saw back there and then it does a flashback of them tripping over a body and then flashes here almost felt like the scene where they tripped over her body was cut out and then right before the final cut someone's like oh God they mentioned the body we cut out with all right we'll just have this awkward flashback show him to trip over about it and go back that works maybe it did maybe it was the best we could do but the movie doesn't now we do get it a movie with a funny poster and it is not a movie to take too seriously please understand this is not me trying to take a movie too seriously it's just me asking that a movie live up to its own poster.

Conclusion

This movie's not that fun it's at this point where I'm like I'm sizing up my writing based on what would land best I'm gonna go ahead and go with the probably be a better time if you're well not drunk but on substances that you know I'm alluding to "yeah! no, it's a party" all right so cocaine bear have you seen it what did you think about it do you feel like you've gone mad as I have or did you like the movie whatever you think comment below and let me know.