Chapter One:Dreaming of You

Present Day: February 2022

"How are things going with you and Dylan?" My best friend Isabella asked, taking a sip of her mimosa.

"Honestly amazing. Which I am scared to admit out loud because I don't want to jinx anything." I explained.

"Like I always say Scarlett, if it's meant to happen it will. You know I want nothing more than for you to finally be happy."

"I know, I am just so scared to let my guard down after everything that happened with Alex and especially Trevor." I said, chugging the rest of my mimosa.

Alex was my longest and most complicated relationship. We met at 21, and dated for three years. He woke up one day deciding he no longer wanted to be with me, but then spent the next decade hooking up with me when we weren't with anyone. In the end I knew he never wanted me, hell probably never loved me. But I went along with it anyway, because younger me foolishly thought I could make someone love me.

Then there was Trevor, who I met over a summer when we were 18. We had such a strong connection, that to this day I've never felt with anyone. I always believed that he was the love of my life, we dated on and off for two years. We were so young, that no matter how hard we tried to stay together something got in the way. In the end I hurt him, more than once, something I had always regretted. Every once in awhile I will think of him, wondering if maybe our paths would cross again.

Here I am now, 35 and still single. Some of that is by choice, and some is to do with the fact that dating just wasn't the same anymore. No one valued relationships, and here I was a hopeless romantic born in the wrong generation.

"They are your past, as hard as it is you have to let that go. Dylan isn't them, and you can't make him pay for what they did to you."

"I know you're right, I am trying my best I promise."

Just as I said this my phone buzzed, it was from Dylan. I smiled as I picked up my phone. He lived over seas in England so I never expected to hear from him timely. He would usually message me at 2am my time, but every time I woke up to a notification from him I got butterflies. Something I hadn't experienced in such a long time.

Good morning beautiful. I hope you're having a wonderful day. Sorry it took me so long to message you. I got caught up at work. xx

Good afternoon handsome. Hope your day has been well. I am having brunch with Isabella, so it's been a great morning so far. FaceTime later?

Sounds wonderful. Can't wait :) xx

Can't wait either ;)

I sat my phone back down on the table. I found it odd that he hadn't messaged me all day. From the moment we found each other online he was always messaging me, regardless of the time difference. Something felt off, but I tried to push that feeling aside and not let the past get in the way.

Isabella and I ended up having way more mimosas than we intended. We reminisced about past memories, and talked about her life with her husband and her newborn daughter Gabriella. Our lives were on such different paths, but yet somehow we still understood each other. Eventually we called her husband Lorenzo to pick us up from the restaurant as neither of us were in a condition to drive her car back.

"Do you think he's going to be mad at us for drinking so much?" I asked.

"You're obviously way too intoxicated, you know Lorenzo doesn't care. He's highly entertained by our drunkenness." Isabella said giggling.

"I know, but things are different now with Gabriella being around."

"He would rather us be safe then do something stupid." Isabella explained.

About 5 minutes later Lorenzo arrived, and Isabella and I walked arm and arm out of the restaurant, swaying back and forth. We laughed the whole way to the car, feeling so carefree for the first time in a long time.

"You two are a mess as usual." Lorenzo laughed as he helped Isabella into the front seat of their jeep.

"Would you expect any less?" Isabella asked looking into Lorenzos eyes.

"Never, if you two had your life together I would have been worried." He said kissing her on the forehead.

I laughed at this statement as I got into the back of the jeep. As happy as I was for Isabella that moment really made me realize how different our lives were. I hoped to find a love like she had with Lorenzo one day, but as the days went on it really didn't seem impossible. I unlocked my phone and decided to message Dylan.

Isabella and I got carried way at brunch. Will FaceTime as soon when I get home.

When we arrived back at Isabellas we watched movies, and ate food too sober up. A few hours later I was ready to drive home. Isabella walked with me to my car, something she rarely did.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming out with me today. I know that you have been going through a lot." She said as she embraced me into a hug,

"Always." I replied hugging her back.

She released me from the hug and began walking back toward her house. I opened my car door and collapsed into the driver seat. I sighed in relief as it had been a long day. I just wanted to get home, take a bath, and FaceTime Dylan. Just as I was about to pull out of her driveway my phone buzzed. It was a message from Dylan.

Hey it's getting late, don't think FaceTime will work tonight. Hope you had a great time at brunch.xx

Okay, I was just heading back to my place. Guess we'll talk later.

When I arrived back at my apartment I walked into the bathroom and ran a bubble bath. I lit an apple cinnamon candle, and turned my color changing lights to pink. I sank into the bath grabbing my kindle I had brought in with me and continued reading "Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets." I need to escape all of these emotions that I was feeling, and reading always helped with that.

After about twenty minutes in the bath I decided to get out, the hot water was making me tired. I dried off and did my skin care routine, then climbed into bed and checked Instagram. The first post that popped up was one from Dylan. It was a selfie of him and another girl smiling with the caption " I haven't been interested in a girl in so long. But then you came along, and completely stole my heart." I had to look at the post a few times for it to register, I thought I was dreaming. I went to our messages, and angrily typed to him.

Oh damn, so that's how it is. If you wanted to be with another girl you should have said that. You deserve an award for being such a wonderful actor. Don't ever talk to me again.

I clicked send and threw my phone to the side. I began sobbing out of pure frustration. I was tired of trying and failing when it came to finding love. I was tired of feeling like I was the problem, when really a lot of it was social media and dating apps like Tinder. If you didn't meet exactly what someone wanted they could just drop you and find someone else in two-seconds.

I fell asleep quicker than normal, while I don't always remember my dreams, this night I did. I was taken back to 17 years ago the weekend I met Trevor. A moment that was engraved in my memory, but one that I tend to burry in the depths because it hurt too much to remember.

I was standing on a beach, looking out at the waves. It was night out, the water looked black, the white caps of the waves were a vibrant white. I looked up at the sky seeing the stars glowing above me, and the full moon casting a white dim light below. Something about this moment felt so familiar to me. I turned around and thats when I saw Trevor. Standing there in his black hoodie, black skinny jeans, shaggy hair, and black vans. I began walking toward him, he looked up at me giving me a half smile.

He reached out to embrace me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He towered over me, as he was 6'1 and I was only 5'4.

I felt home again.

I leaned back and looked up into his hazel eyes, and smiled. He smiled back at me.

"Ive missed you so much Scarlett." he said.

"I've missed you to Trevor." I said, my voice shaking.

He took his thumb and rubbed it on my cheek, leaning down and softly kissed me on my lips.

"Is this real?" I asked looking up at him.

"I wish, I would give anything to see you again Scarlett."

He leaned down kissing my forehead. I embraced him in another hug.

"I would give anything to see you too Trevor. Please don't leave me again. I'm sorry."

I woke suddenly, breathing heavy. I was trying to ground myself and figure out my surroundings because the dream felt so real. I grabbed my phone to check the time, it was 3:33 in the morning. I still had a few hours before I had to wake up for work, but had no idea how I was going to sleep now.

"Why did that feel so real?" I asked myself.

***