Chaos Unknown

Destruction, chaos, madness, did I already mention the chaos? One could use those words to describe what happened to our world, you want to know what it is to me? A shit show of corpses, Twinkie boxes and broken-down cars that never made it out. If you were “lucky” enough to survive you’d know that walking down the street in an astronaut suit (Personal choice by the way, my six-year-old self always wanted to go into space but I didn’t think they would let a anxious six year old in.) stepping over bones of loved ones and wiping off my helmet every ten seconds because of the ash that was floating through the air was the American dream.

Now the American dream I had pictured for my self was getting a van, turning it into one of those Pinterest worthy DIY projects and traveling with my dog Saint Christopher since he was my pride and joy. Although after I came out to my parents they did not want and I quote “A washed up GAY daughter to pollute the rest of the household with her feminist thoughts and her rainbow bed sheets” as if my mom did not notice that I never was interested in the ken Barbie dolls and only wanted the girls. She clearly missed the memo and so did my dad who was always to consumed in work to give an actual shit. So, I left, no place to go except my friends Misha’s house whose parents let me tell you were whack jobs. They had everything except the tin foil hats and the headphones that protected their ears from the 5G waves that was going to change their brains and turn them into flesh eating zombies.

I can promise you I am truly not heart broken by the fact that when the bombs rained down on this beautiful earth that people chose to profit from, instead of protecting, I felt relief. I did not have to worry about surviving another shift at the grocery market that made me question even my own sanity. I did not have to sit down at another family dinner at Misha’s, although bless her heart and her outstanding patience with her parent’s.

I was at work when it happened, and I thought for sure they were going to let us go home, but instead, they kept us there claiming it was safer inside, and of course to accommodate the hyper-capitalist America that our country grew to. “Even in apocalyptic times you are essential.”, I guess. We waited there for days, which then became weeks. The military never came, and the grocery store manager finally understood what essential meant and it was not us. I drank A LOT of disgusting beer to numb the anxiety I had of being with my coworkers for 52 days straight. Honestly, I would rather be dead, which I got close to a couple of times with the copious amounts of alcohol I drank in those days.

Finally, one day I said enough is enough and left like a thief in the night. Technically I was a literal thief, because I took all the beef jerky and Jell-O cups I could carry. I know that is not actually healthy, but I am still half in the bag and those were my favorite. Sober self would not appreciate me as much as I do in this moment. Although leaving and going out into the world where I did not know what to expect, took a big act of courage that old pushover me would never have done 52 days ago. “There’s always time for self-growth even in the apocalypse.” Wise words from yours truly. The second I did step outside, I could barely see anything, even with the stolen flashlight I had took; it was not until I heard a crack under my feet that I stopped. As I reached down, I felt what seemed like a gold heart on a chain that must have been a locket someone had lost in their mad dash of terror. Inside was a picture of a women with fire red hair and the greenest eyes I have ever seen.

My hands felt like fire the longer I held onto the necklace. I quickly set down the necklace in fear I would have burns on my skin when I looked. Then I heard it, a voice inside my head which was not my own. “Find her” I thought the radiation had finally caught up to me and I was losing my god damn mind. Then it came again louder than before, “FIND HER.” With nothing to lose I continued to walk for what felt like miles until I stumbled over my own feet on an astronaut suit in the middle of Broadway. The apocalypse is just full of surprises. Climbing into the suit it almost felt like I was achieving some dream my six-year-old would be proud of. Only instead of fighting space monsters I was fighting radiation and my crippling depression.

The second I was all latched in; I heard a scream. A scream that was desperate and scared. I started running toward the sound but with the suit on I felt like I was running in space getting nowhere and then I saw it, the red headed women. She was tied up and left for dead. Coming up to her I promised I would cause no harm and untied her. The first words that came out of her mouth was “we need to run, they are coming.” I felt her fear gripping my stomach hoping my Jell-O would not make its way back up. “Who is coming?” The shadow walkers she stated, and we do not have long. On the tenth try of checking cars for keys we got a hit. Riding into the sunset made of ash with a redhead who I barely knew with the unknown shadow walkers isn’t my idea of happy ever after but I will never turn back to find out.