Captivated by the Creature Within

Part 1: We Met

I lived with my captor. He was a complicated man. Handsome and kind, yet plagued by the burden that he carried. He never meant to hold prisoners, it had all happened by accident.

I was hiking the Appalachian Trail one summer when I stumbled across him. A bit weathered and worn, he did not seem to fit in with the landscape that we were in. It had been an incredibly wet summer and it seemed as if it was always raining. I constantly felt drenched and my gear never seemed to dry completely.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I came to be in his possession, but I knew he had others with him. I found myself enthralled by him, and I resonated with his tortured soul.

See, I never felt like I fit in with my landscape in life either, and had always felt out of place. Life to me felt incomplete most of the time. Challenging in everyday ways, yet beautiful in an overwhelming sense. I always felt like there was something more, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I always carried a somewhat magical point of view, could sense that there was more than what was visible to the naked eye. Spending time in nature and hiking was one of the only ways I could soothe my soul, and that is why I had decided to explore thru-hiking that summer. I needed a challenge to connect myself to my physical body, and needed the clarity that nature provided me.

I, too, was weathered and worn. Searching for more meaning in my life and hoping to find some sort of inspiration on the trail.

I came across him one night in a local town, when my supplies were running low and I needed to replenish them. It was raining that night, as usual, and I was soaked to the bone. I sought shelter in a local bar. I didn’t have enough cash on me for dinner, but could afford a beer and snacked on the free pretzels provided. There was a local band playing live music that night, and I was grateful for the distraction from the horrible weather outside and the idea of sleeping in a wet tent again.

I was seated next to him at the bar and instantly felt magnetized towards him. Being in his presence was almost like being hypnotized, I was mesmerized. It was almost as if words did not need to be spoken. I felt as if I knew him and yet knew nothing about him at the same time. I felt a strange loyalty towards him, and could see the troubled look on his face, the pain in his eyes.

He was with a few others, one man who stood out to me in particular. He had a shifty, weasley look on his face and couldn’t seem to sit still. He appeared uncomfortable, yet never left his chair, constantly glancing at his companion. My soon to be captor seemed to be tired, and did not pay much attention to his shifty friend.

We started a conversation, and I could see a spark in his eyes. He offered to buy me some food, and seemed interested in my undertaking of hiking so many miles. I reluctantly agreed to accept his offer, but only because I never felt pressured by him. He did not seem like the typical guy trying to pick up a girl in a bar, and I could sense the genuine care in his offer.

We sat together that evening and fell into a deep conversation about all things related to life. During the course of the evening his friend kept shifting next to him, but not paying much attention to me, which I was fine with. Even though I had only exchanged a few words of greetings and comments about the evening with this second man, I did not trust him and felt uneasy in his presence.

I never felt this way with my captor. I felt at ease. I felt seen and I felt heard. I felt cared for in a way that transcended the average romantic interest. I felt whole in his presence.

That night, after the show, things escalated a bit quickly. He had offered to give me a ride back to the trail head and as we headed to his van, the rain started up again. As I stared into his face, I watched the rain hitting his skin, highlighting his dark features and soaking his dark hair. The strangest thing started to happen then. I noticed his skin start to shift and could see the pained look in his eyes intensify.

His eyes locked on to mine, as if trying to anchor himself in me. The hair on my neck started to stand up, when I could see his whole body pulsing, as if the skeleton under his skin was expanding right before me. He barked at his group to get into the car, and he sternly grabbed me by the elbow.

“We have to go,” he grumbled, and with no other questions, I quickly obliged.

Now, let me tell you, I’m not the kind of person to go along with this sort of thing. But the connection between us felt so strong, I felt compelled to follow his order. The rest of his crew had climbed into the back of the car so I eased myself into the passenger side. I looked out the windshield and could see my captor struggling to make it to the other side.

His body continued to pulse as the rain beat down on him. I stared at him, watching his every movement carefully, trying to understand what was happening. I was horrified yet infatuated at the same time. For a moment there was a flash of lightning and, in that moment, I felt a sickly pang of fear.

Instead of a man standing in front of me, I saw a scaled being with spindles coming out of its head and traveling down its back. It was a large serpent like creature, with a long muscular black body that glistened underneath the pouring rain. Its neck curved, arching towards the sky, yet its head was turned towards the van.

I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but no sound came out. I could see its fangs glistening in a mouth that appeared to curve in a horrific grin. Its eyes gleamed in the night, endless pools of darkness that still contained a spark of light. A shred of humanity seemed to remain and it stared right back at me. Our eyes locked and, as we both blinked, the man I had met reappeared in an instant. He gently shook his head as if clearing what had happened from his mind, and quickly fumbled for the keys in his pocket.

There was a slight look of disbelief on his face, mixed with what seemed to be shame and frustration. He opened the front door and climbed into the car. I remembered where I was and could feel the tension in that space, as if the others behind me had been holding their breath the entire time. So much so, that I had forgotten they were even there.

My captor took a deep breath and put the keys into the ignition. I watched his movements carefully, saw the control he exerted with each gesture of his hand. Saw how intentional he was. As the engine began to hum, he used both hands to wipe the hair from his face.

His breathing was slow and controlled, his eyes closed. Although my heart had been pounding just moments before, I felt strangely calm in his presence now and no longer felt fearful. The fear had passed just as quickly as the vision I had seen and, even though I couldn’t be sure of what I saw, I knew somehow that it was real.

I felt as if I understood everything in that moment and that I didn’t need words to describe it, and I knew no one would understand it if I told them. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I saw a look of pain mixed with appreciation and I looked back at him with kindness and understanding. In that moment I felt our souls connect. I knew we were stronger together and would help one another.

On the outside it may seem that our time together would be one sided. I would help him to make peace with what lay inside of him, yet he gave me a sense of purpose in this world. This would be a beginning for both of us, the start of something new.

This would be the night that my whole life changed.

The night I fell in love with my captor, a monster, and a man named Peter who worked so hard to tame what was inside of him.

Part 2: The Connection Grows Deeper

We lived together for a few weeks. There were six of us in that van: my captor, myself, our shifty eyed friend, and a quiet mother with her two young children. The others were held out of fear of doing anything else. They didn't understand that Peter would never harm them like I did.

He didn’t say much to them, and I think the guilt of carrying them around weighed on him. But he kept them close in order to protect his secret.

We found ways of managing, stayed in motels or camped out at night when the weather allowed us to. We didn’t have many supplies, but we had the essentials to get us by. Our food was limited and we stopped as needed in order to replenish. The skills I had developed on the trail came in handy as I began to prepare freeze dried meals for our group most days.

Our time together was mostly in silence, even the children kept to themselves. They must have been no more than 8 or 10 years old, and I never spoke much with them. I think we were all trying to figure out where exactly all of this would take us.

Bodies of water seemed to be a trigger for the creature, so we avoided it as much as possible. Yet, without it, Peter seemed to grow lethargic. It seemed that he needed just the right amount in order to stay in control of his physical form, yet not get too much to lose control. It was a fine balance that was a bit of a guessing game.

Our evenings camping were my favorite, as I had been carrying my tent around in my pack anyway. I began to share my tent with Peter after that first night, and we often spent the evenings quietly talking and getting to know each other.

I would gaze deeply into his eyes to observe the changes rippling within him. It seemed as though a fire burned within him that would blaze anytime a strong emotion would occur. I could see the beast that lived within him, but I could also see his passion for life. They seemed to be one in the same.

Although I knew he was secretly tormented by the monster within him, a part of him did not know what life would be like without it. He had always felt like a wild and expressive child, almost as if what he felt was too much for his body while he was growing up. When puberty hit, that is when he started to notice changes that were not normal.

At the age of 14 he began to shape shift and it had terrified him. He ran away from home and sought refuge in the waters across the globe. As he plunged into the depths of the darkest oceans, his scaled form grew and expanded. When at peace, he could maintain his rational, thinking mind. He found freedom from the emotions he felt from being trapped in his human body. He worked hard to control his thoughts and feelings because that allowed him to stay present in his mind, no matter what form he was in, but he had many gaps in his life where he could not remember.

I think this is what troubled him the most. The moments when the beast took over and he could no longer recall what had happened. When in his right mind, he fed off of fish in the ocean, but he could not recall if he had ever harmed a person. He spent over a decade this way, exploring the waters, coming to land to explore. He had been all over the world, as he could regulate his temperature when in creature form.

Although for the most part he could remain present, the beast could be unpredictable and flare up without much warning. Sometime in his early thirties he awoke on an island in the south pacific to a shipwreck and carnage. The crew was nowhere to be found and Peter had awoken amongst the debris. He decided then that he would remain in human form and began to travel throughout Polynesia.

Previously he was able to steal clothes anytime he returned to land, and he did just this again. He settled in Hawaii and began to work at one of the resorts there. He saved money for a few years until he could fly back to the east coast, where he grew up in Ohio. He had wanted to reconnect with his parents, and to make sure that they were ok. He had spent five years working in his human form without any blackouts and felt confident he could safely return without any incident.

It had been almost 20 years since he had been home and, when he returned, he found a new family living where his childhood home had once been. After doing some research and digging, he found that the stress of his leaving had plagued his parents, leading to their untimely passing. The guilt weighed on him, and he began to feel the urge to dissociate again.

He felt directionless and began to aimlessly spend his days. With the little money he had left from working at the resort, he bought a used van and began to drive toward the coast, intending to make the final plunge into the water. Throughout his travels he began to shift unintentionally and that is when his witnesses joined his crew.

It was never his intention to bring them along, and he had plans to release them once he reached the coast. He did not want to risk being stopped before he could make it to the water, for he knew he would be subjected to capture and possible experimental torment should he be discovered for what he truly was.

He had only been traveling for a few days when our paths crossed in eastern Pennsylvania, and his plans seemed to slow down once I joined his crew. Although he felt eager to release the others, I think our meeting caused him to question his motives and reconsider his ultimate goal.

Part 3: Betrayal

When the others had first begun traveling with Peter, he had demanded they turn over their cell phones in order to prevent them from reaching out to any outside source to reveal his secret. He had never asked for mine, which I kept charged with my portable hiking charger.

I never used my phone in the time that we were together, although I often kept it close by. I could feel our shifty companion glancing at me and could sense the tension in his stare. I knew the others resented me and were perplexed by my presence. I also felt that they feared me a little bit as well.

The man we were traveling with held anger and resentment in his eyes, while the mother had a mild look of concern when our eyes met. I could tell her motherly instinct was to worry for my safety, but she never outwardly expressed this concern to me.

Despite the poor weather that summer, we were lucky to have a few days of warmth and sunshine, and one that stood out in particular to me. We had camped out the night before and were sitting around our campsite. The sun was out and it seemed to lift everyone’s moods a bit.

The children were off playing, while their mother was resting. I had lent her my travel hammock which she had set up by a stream located near our campsite. As she rested, the worried lines that seemed to live on her face softened. The man was skipping rocks in the stream and, although he constantly seemed to be lost in thought and evaluating his situation, he, too, seemed a bit lighter and more carefree.

I had perched myself on a rock in the sun, gazing around to take in my surroundings. I felt happy, but couldn’t really explain it. My eyes caught Peter’s and, when I smiled, that spark in his eyes intensified. Not the spark of the creature, but an internal warmth, a sense of knowing. We grinned at each other for a moment, and I suddenly felt flushed.

He walked over to me, our eyes locked, and he lifted his hand to cup my face, his fingers in my hair. He bent down and gently brushed his lips against mine as I gently lifted my face up towards his, receiving his kiss and leaning in to him. As if sweeping me up, I gently stood from my place, while our lips remained connected and his hands wrapped around my waist as mine reached around his neck.

He paused to look into my eyes, and I felt lost in his gaze. Lost, yet somehow more firmly rooted into the earth than I had ever been. I felt incredibly present but completely tuned in to him and him alone.

We made love that afternoon, in a secluded spot in the woods on a blanket we had brought with us and I felt incredibly whole after.

We walked back to our campsite, holding hands and laughing. I felt deliriously happy, silly and incredibly grateful for the beautiful weather and my companion’s love and affection. As we approached the site, my eyes scanned the area. I saw Susan still resting in her hammock, she appeared to have fallen asleep, and the children were still nearby playing tic tac toe in the dirt now, but the man was nowhere to be seen.

I started to panic a little and my hand fell from Peter’s. I looked toward my belongings, but they appeared to be undisturbed. Just then, I heard some leaves crunching in the woods and the man appeared. He was stumbling toward us as he glanced down at his pants, fastening his belt. When our eyes met he quickly looked away and mumbled something about going off to relieve himself.

Although I felt a bit more at ease, something did not sit right with me as I still did not trust him. I wasn’t able to address my concern because my attention then turned towards Susan, who had begun to stir and let out an audible yawn. Her stirrings broke the tension and we all began to congregate towards the campsite.

That evening Peter sat us all down together to talk to us about his plan. He expressed his regret for having taken the man along with Susan and her children hostage. That he had never meant any harm to them and was merely trying to protect his secret. The man sat quietly, gazing into the fire we had built, while Susan expressed genuine understanding. She seemed much more at ease this evening, as if she was finally beginning to feel safe around Peter and trust him.

Peter explained that he would like to change his plan of heading to the coast and instead head up to northern New York so that he could cross the border into Canada. Before the border, he would like to release his prisoners and part ways with them. He would give them each money for bus fare to travel back to their respective homes and expressed his desire for discretion.

He then vowed to never return to the states and continue his retreat up north where he would find a place to settle. Susan agreed to this plan, and the man just quietly shook his head in agreement without saying any other word. We all agreed to leave first thing in the morning and to pack as much as we could that night into the van so we could get an early start.

Sleepily I crammed my pack into the car, keeping only the essentials with me in the tent. As I climbed into my sleeping bag, Peter joined me, kissed my head, and wrapped his arms around me as he laid down next to me.

“I would like for you to come up north with me,” he gently said into my ear. I nodded my head in agreement as I looked into his eyes.

“We will figure out a way to make this work,” I told him, and then lifted my head as he lowered his, allowing our lips to embrace again. “I am with you in this,” I spoke to him as our lips separated and he gently smiled as he looked back at me.

“Thank you,” was what he said in return as he brushed his hands through my hair again. “I will always keep you safe and do my best to protect you.”

“I know,” I replied. “I trust you and am excited to go on this journey with you.” We kissed one more time and then turned off our camping lantern to go to sleep.

The next day we woke to an overcast sky. It seemed the weather had returned to its normal gloominess that summer, and the sky seemed to threaten another rain storm. We quickly packed up the remainder of our things. We didn’t take time to boil water for our morning tea and coffee, and decided to just get something on the road. We were all anxious to wrap up our time together and part ways.

Before we all climbed into the van, I checked my pack one more time, this time opening my electronic bag to turn my phone on. I had been keeping it off in order to save the battery, but knew I would have to check in with my family at some point to somehow explain to them that I would not be finishing my thru hike and would be going on a completely different adventure soon enough.

When I took my phone out of the bag I noticed that it was on, which I thought was strange since I was almost positive I had shut it off before putting it away the last time. I always double checked it as well. I started to feel sick to my stomach as I pulled up the call log and saw that the most recent call was made yesterday afternoon, right around the time that Peter and I had gone off into the woods alone. And that call was made to 911. I began to panic and as I looked up in horror, my eyes met Peter’s. He looked back at me, inquisitive, knowing something was not right. I then glanced toward the man and felt fear and rage boiling up inside of me.

“We have to get out of here, now,” I told Peter dryly. “Richard stole my phone yesterday when we were in the woods and made a call to 911, I think we are in trouble.”

Part 4: Facing Demons

The panic was setting in. We scrambled to get into the car, and Peter’s frustration was visible. He was starting to lose control and I think we were all unsure of what to do next. Devastated, I angrily finished packing and assisted Susan with her children. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Peter confront Richard.

At that moment, rain started to fall. I looked at the sky and saw a storm rolling in. I could hear a rumbling in the sky and for a moment thought it was thunder, but it was too consistent. I quickly made the connection and realized that the rumbling was not a natural phenomena but the distant sound of helicopters approaching.

I looked towards Peter and saw him looking at the sky as well. His eyes then met mine and his face expressed regret and sorrow. I wanted to deny it, but I knew instantly that he was giving me a look that was meant as a goodbye.

---

He had his hands wrapped around Richard’s collar, and he returned his gaze towards the man who had exposed him. The strangers that approached in the helicopters and in the vehicles that were most likely following them, would not understand the situation. He would be one that would be captured, imprisoned and, if the monster made its appearance, he would be experimented on in some laboratory or used for some government agenda.

His grip slowly loosened and his expression eased. He was calculating his next steps and knew he had to separate himself from this group. There was a trail close by to the campsite that he could take on foot until he reached some form of body of water. He would have to make a run for it, but he knew that if seen they would never stop searching for him. He had to get as far away as possible and his plan to go up north was no longer an option.

He had to go somewhere entirely different and incredibly remote if he wanted to survive. But was it worth it? He would have to live in hiding for quite some time, and he would have to live alone. He would have to leave the one person behind who he had felt a true connection to. As much as he didn’t want to leave, he knew his leaving would protect the woman he had grown to love these past few weeks.

Peter glanced toward her again and could see her eyes pleading with him. She didn’t want him to go, and she could feel her gaze almost trying to anchor him to her. But he had to. He had to leave, he had no other choice and no other option. If he stayed, chances are he wouldn’t get to stay with her anyway.

---

I could see him weighing out his options. And at that moment I understood. There was no positive outcome in this situation and no way that we could be together. I could feel the grief and sorrow yanking at my heart, and I began to feel as if I would never breathe again. It felt as if I was choking from the inside out.

Each moment felt like a lifetime, when in reality, only a few seconds had passed. Peter tore his eyes away from me, and jogged towards the trail, disappearing into the rain. I knew he would quickly shift form as soon as he was able to. I was left standing there, the rain beating down. He had left the keys in the ignition and I knew what I had to do.

After giving Richard a dirty look, I spoke calmly to Susan and advised her to wait with the children until the authorities arrived. I gave her a quick hug and grabbed my pack. I knew it didn’t make any sense, but I laced up my hiking books and headed towards the trail. I didn’t know if I would ever see Peter again, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t just stand there feeling helpless waiting to be questioned about something I did not want to talk about.

I didn’t care what the consequence was, but I knew I had my hiking supplies and some food left over, and needed to clear my head in nature before I could decide what my next step would be. Who knows, maybe I would somehow cross paths with my love again and go into hiding with him. At that moment, I didn’t really care about where I would end up or how. I just knew I needed to move.

As I began to walk into the woods and away from the companions I had shared space with the last few weeks, the familiarity of being alone with my thoughts gave me a sense of comfort. I could tune in to my body and my breathing. However, anytime I would think about Peter and the situation I was in, I felt a huge pang of despair. The urge to stop and crawl up into a ball on the ground was strong. I wanted my body to be washed away with the rain, to cease to exist, and to return to the earth.

The pain I felt was overwhelming, but I continued to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. This is why I had always loved hiking. It gave me the opportunity to focus on the present moment and gave me something to hold on to while going through any difficulties that came up in life. Although this had always been a way for me to process my emotions and feelings, I had never experienced anything as intense or severe as this.

I felt as if a part of me was dying; almost as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I took a deep breath and somehow compartmentalized in order to keep going.

“You will figure this out,” I said out loud to myself. I was deep in thought, focusing only on the sound of my breath, and the placement of my feet. I had no concept of time and the rolling landscape challenged me to remain present in the moment. The rain hadn’t let up, but I had my rain gear on so I wasn’t completely soaked. Yet.

I reached a small peak around early afternoon when the sun decided to come out a little bit. I could feel the signs of fall approaching and even though it was early September some of the leaves were beginning to change. I knew transition was coming and my mind started to wander to the dark place of confusion and despair. I physically shook my head to get rid of these thoughts and decided to take off some of my layers since the rain seemed to be letting up.

I took a few deep breaths, checked my water supply and closed my eyes for a moment, turning my face towards the sun peaking through the clouds. I wondered where Peter was at that moment. Could he feel me? Would we remain connected even though we were physically apart? I had never felt such a bond with another person and wasn’t sure if I had imagined the whole thing.

Had these last few weeks actually happened? Where had August gone? Have I been hiking this whole time and just running away with my imagination out of boredom and exhaustion?

That was a scary thought. Mental illness ran in my family and I always feared that I would somehow lose my grip on reality. I had a different way of handling things. While everyone else was medicated in my family, I chose to push myself physically hiking and reading books about spirituality and personal development. I believed in things that could not be seen with the naked eye, and often took a path that strayed from those closest to me.

Even though it may seem harder on the outside, I couldn’t imagine living any other way, and truthfully didn’t want to. I have always had a strong urge to grow and expand in all areas of my life, even if I didn’t understand what that meant entirely. I had been on a mission to become comfortable with the uncomfortable and that was a big reason why I had planned this backpacking trip.

A smile crept onto my face and I laughed out loud to myself because I had asked to be broken open before I had gone on this trip. Even though I was not a religious person, I had begged God, the universe, whoever or whatever you want to call this higher power, to help me expand. I wanted a shift and, wow, I got what I had asked for.

This was exactly how I was feeling, as if I was being ripped apart from the inside out, and I had to maintain the faith that I would be fine in the end, even if it wasn’t a happily ever after story. I reminded myself that even though I was hurting now, that I believed everything happens for a reason, even if I do not know what that reason is in this moment.

Yes, these last few weeks had happened.

No, I had not imagined them and I was not going crazy.

I resolved that I would not question myself or my feelings about what had happened.

These were the facts:

I had met a man in a bar while backpacking that bought me dinner and swept me into his van. I had seen him change forms, and seen a wild beast within him that caused him to shift and do things that were seemingly out of his control. I saw the good in him. The kindness, the compassion, the tenderness. I saw the confusion and despair. The battle that waged inside of him.

I had fallen in love with him. He was plagued by internal conflict and was far from perfect. But aren’t we all?

Don’t we all fight our own inner demons? Don’t we all lose control sometimes? Don’t we all make mistakes? Don’t we all do things we wish we could take back or change?

Aren’t we all just the same, but in different ways?

The heaviness in my heart had begun to lift as I took another deep breath.

“Everything is going to be ok,” I said to myself. “I am going to be ok.”

I shifted my pack and began my descent down the mountain, following the markings. When I reached the valley I started to consider where I would camp that night and took out my map to see if I could make it to the designated shelter before the sun went down. As I began to do so, I saw some movement on the trail ahead of me.

It appeared to be a man helping another hiker. An older woman by the looks of it, who was leaning against a tree and appeared to be catching her breath. I squinted, trying to get a better idea and slowly began to approach, to see if I could be of any assistance.

My heart began to beat faster and my mouth dried. Was it possible? How could it be? I felt a sickly excitement, fear, and worry all at the same time.

The man helping the woman was Peter.

Part 5: Re-connection

I started to make my descent down the trail. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. He should have been long gone at this point. Our eyes met and I felt a spark. Heat began to emanate from within me, and I could feel it from his gaze as well.

I turned my attention back to the woman who had been bracing herself, but she had now positioned herself to sit on a rock and was rubbing her knees. She looked frail to be out here alone. I reached out to her with kindness, introduced myself, and placed my hand on her upper back.

Her name was Cheryl and she had gotten separated from her hiking group. She had come across Peter a few miles back who had been helping her reconnect. She had taken a fall after she had gotten separated from her group and was moving slowly and cautiously. Once she ran into Peter, he had offered his assistance and an arm to lean on.

I looked at Peter, worried about his safety and if he would get caught. His face expressed concern and then I realized that he was probably worried as well and wondering why I had gone off into the woods following the path he had taken.

“I needed to clear my head, so I decided to get some miles in on the trail and see where that took me. I couldn’t wait for...the others to arrive,” I added, not wanting to reveal that there were quite possibly authorities out searching for the two of us.

He nodded in understanding.

“You two know each other?” The woman asked.

We both nodded conservatively.

“Yes,” I replied, “Peter is a good friend of mine and we also got separated a few miles ago.”

“Well, I am very thankful he found me, otherwise I might still be lost! He has been a true gentleman in helping me find my group again, but I am afraid I won’t be able to.”

“Let’s see what we can do, I can offer some extra support as well. Are you injured badly?”

“No, just a little shaken up and a bit sore, but I am ready to keep going.”

I began to hear the low hum of helicopters approaching.

“Ok, let’s get you moving then and see if we can find your group.”

“Thank you, I truly appreciate it! There must be some kind of search and rescue party looking for someone. I hope my group didn’t call them, that would be so embarrassing!” She laughed.

I awkwardly smiled and forced a small laugh, not wanting to tell her that the search party was actually a manhunt for the man standing next to us.

We continued on our way then, I gave her support so we could pick up the pace.

“My group should be just over this next mountain, near the lake on the other side.”

“Great!” I replied, for so many reasons. If we hit a body of water, Peter could slip in and elude the people who were looking for him. He and I looked at each other, hope in both of our eyes.

As we climbed our next mountain, it started to rain again. We reached a rock face towards the top, where we could see the lake stretched out below in front of us. The stretch of gray blue in the rain was such a welcome sight, but from this vantage point, we could see three helicopters approaching, almost just above us.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Peter politely expressed, stepping off under the tree line, shielding himself from view. “I am just going to go off to relieve myself,” he added. But his look said something different. I knew he was starting to feel the pressure of the approaching search team. I had a feeling that he would go on ahead of us to seek refuge in the water.

I glanced towards the lake and saw a group of people near one of the banks.

“Look! I think I see a hiking group, does that look like the one you were with?” I said to the woman.

“Yes, that appears to be them,” she happily replied.

“Why don’t we head on down there, and Peter can meet back up with us. I am sure they are anxious to reunite with you,” I offered.

“Yes, are you sure you will be alright Peter?” she asked.

“Definitely,” he shouted from the bushes, “I will be right behind you! That sounds like a good plan, go on ahead and find your group.”

“I will see you soon,” I called out to him. Not really sure if I would or how.

He nodded before disappearing entirely.

Cheryl and I departed then, and began our final descent for the day.

Part 6: Manifestation

As we walked down the mountain towards the lake, the rain began to fall a bit harder. I was worried about Peter, but knew I could only allow myself to think about what I was doing in that present moment. Thinking ahead or trying to figure out how this scenario would all play out was not going to get me anywhere.

We finally finished our descent and followed a path along the lake, where we could see Cheryl’s group up ahead. They were congregated in a shelter, talking amongst themselves. The rain was creating a mist-like effect in the area, so it was difficult to see or hear anything other than my own breath.

When we were close enough to the group, one of the men noticed us and beamed, “There she is!” He shouted, happy to have finally found the missing member of his group. We squeezed under the shelter roof to take off our rain hoods and exchanged introductions and thank yous.

Cheryl expressed her concern about me finding Peter and I assured her not to worry. That we would find our way. I didn’t really know what to say, because I had no idea where I would go from this point on. I had no idea where Peter was, if he was safe, or if I would ever even see him again. The thought of that made me feel sick to my stomach and I did my best to hide the concern from my face.

Their parking area was a short walk out, about a mile from the lake. I reassured her to head out with her group, that Peter and I had actually planned on camping by the lake anyway and that I am sure he would be finding his way there in no time.

Just then, the helicopters finally caught up to us. Hovering over the lake, their lights searching. The roar was overwhelming, even over the sound of the rain. We could see men on foot come into the clearing, decked out in what appeared to be SWAT like uniforms, carrying guns.

My stomach twisted into a knot. I knew they would probably make it over to us for questioning, and I felt sick about the idea of Cheryl discovering that they were actually searching for the man who had helped her. The thought that they may take me in crossed my mind, but I felt a strange disassociation to the idea.

Before they could make it over to us, their attention seemed to be drawn to the water. One of the helicopters began to hover over one of the lake’s edges, and released a cable that one of the men on foot began to direct toward the water.

I watched in horror, is that what I think it is? I wasn’t sure how this was possible but suddenly I had the idea that they were going to send an electric current into the water. They must have seen the creature from above before Peter had the chance to completely submerge, otherwise they wouldn’t be risking such a dangerous operation.

My heart was racing, I saw the water begin to tremble, had they already administered the shock?

No, I could see something coming up from beneath the surface. It was the creature, in full form. In the water it had grown 3 times the size from what I had seen that first night. The disgusting face of the beast emerged, fangs bared, darkness in its eyes.

This creature held no resemblance to the man I knew and loved, I saw zero shred of humanity in its eyes. No spark, no compassion, no Peter. Only the monster.

The men on foot began to shoot, aiming for the beast while those of us in the shelter took cover. Cheryl was screaming behind me, as was the rest of the group. I told them to get as far back as possible, and I began to unhinge my backpack.

The serpent-like creature lunged for the SWAT team, grabbing each of them with its sharp fangs, pulling some of them into the water and leaving others mutilated and bleeding on the shore. The helicopter had begun to change direction, when the beast swam underwater for a few moments and then lunged its body up into the sky, grabbing the chopper with its mouth open wide. The chopper crashed into the water and the beast let out a horrific screech. One of the blades had nicked its neck, and a dark liquid began to pour from its body.

I found myself standing on the edge of the lake, I couldn’t remember running out from underneath the shelter. I screamed Peter’s name. I didn’t know if Peter even still existed at that point. The serpent turned, looked me straight in the face and I knew I had made a mistake. With the blood pouring down its neck, this monster began to lose momentum. It moved slowly towards me, fangs dripping.

I stood, frozen, unsure of what to do next.

Just then, I saw a man emerge from the opposite side of the lake. Tattered and soaked. It was Peter. How was this possible?

The serpent spun around to look at him and the two glared into each other’s eyes, almost as if communicating telepathically. Peter quickly glanced at me and mouthed the word, RUN. I turned around and ran as hard as I could. I didn’t want to return to the shelter where the group was. I wanted to be alone, and I wanted to somehow make my way to Peter. I knew it didn’t make sense and I didn’t care. I ran along the shore bank but then had to make my way up a rock cliff when I saw the body of the serpent slam into the trail just in front of me.

When I looked behind me, I saw Peter on the opposite bank, still in human form. His hands were stretched out in front of him. His face showed a look of deep concentration, grimacing, almost as if in pain. Somehow I knew that he and this beast were connected, yet separate.

I wondered why Peter hadn’t shifted form and then realized that somehow this serpent was an external manifestation of his inner demons. I saw it begin to wriggle and writhe on the bank, as if in pain. I looked back at Peter who seemed to be even deeper in concentration.

For a moment I felt sympathy for this creature. Although I knew deep down that it was evil, I couldn’t help but feel bad for it. Its nature was wild, and I don’t think it meant deliberate harm. It was merely reacting to the situation and protecting itself.

I looked back at Peter, who was still focused, and I was convinced that he was somehow communicating with the beast. The serpent slowly lifted itself back up, looked at the man on the shore line, and then slowly returned to the water, as if in retreat.

Within moments, the serpent had disappeared just as quickly as it had emerged.