Bonded

The cabin in the woods has been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. A gentle crossbreeze caused it to flicker, casting odd, rippling shadows around the room. She didn’t even notice. She was too focused on the cleaning she needed to get done before he woke up.

There was dust everywhere. The shelf, the 2 end tables, the couch, the kitchen counter, the bed, everything was covered in a blanket of grey. Luckily, she came prepared. She ran to her car, with its high beams blazing, and grabbed the yellow plastic bags full of vinegar and rags and soap and scrub pads, and all manner of cleaning supplies. She grabbed the mops and brooms. She checked the porch as she hauled it all inside, as quietly as she could. She opened the windows and left the door cracked a bit and she hastily wiped and scrubbed and swept and gathered and threw away. She hoped the owner wouldn’t mind. But it was just no way she could keep all of those odds and ends. Not to mention, had it been of any significance to the previous residents, they’d have taken it with them, right? I mean, that’s what she’d have done. Which is why, besides the small duffle of clothes, a few electronics she’d need for work, the only thing she took with her was him.

She made quick work of the cleaning. In 18 minutes, she’d gotten the one room cabin from that disturbing grey to its natural, however unsightly, brown. She decided to mop one final time, just to be sure the floor was as clean as possible. She peeked out onto the porch to make sure she had the time. It was very late, and she figured 3 more minutes wouldn’t hurt anything. It didn’t. Once done, she grabbed the trash bags and placed them to the right of the front door, then she grabbed the car seat from the left. He was still fast asleep.

She was relieved. She was more than a bit worried about leaving him out there while she cleaned, but she certainly couldn’t have him inside among all the whirling dust. That would set off his allergies and they’d be in for a terrible night. A terrible night in an unfamiliar place. So she left her lights on as she cleaned so she’d be able to see if anyone was approaching. And she checked the porch every 2-3 minutes. And she had her phone acting as a baby monitor with her laptop. And it all worked out. Thankfully. The last thing she needed was for something to happen to him.

Now that everything was clean and she could take a moment to assess, she took inventory of the cabin. Cabin was a generous term and implied a much larger area than where she stood. Living room, kitchen, bedroom, all were visible from the entryway. There was a closet sized room in the left corner that contained a toilet and a shower. She’d actually had closets that were far larger than that bathroom. But beggars can't be choosers. They had a place to stay. They weren’t followed. Everything was fine. They were together. They were safe.

She took a moment to get their belongings from the car and turn off the headlights. She put the few groceries she’d brought into the fridge. She spread a blanket over the musty mattress and pillows and undressed. She scooped him up from his seat and carried him over to the bed, his head tucked into her neck. His soft little body snuggled in close to her and she relished in the weight of him and the scent of his hair. She lay him down gingerly and grabbed something for them to cover up with. She grabbed the blanket he brought with her, his favorite, and hers if she was honest, and wrapped her body around his and fell into a deep sleep as the last of the candle’s wick burned away in the puddle of dripping wax.

The next morning, the sun shone brightly in the window. Much brighter than you’d expect through the canopy of leaves. It shone over the cabin, and over the mound of blankets heaped on the old mattress in the corner. She rolled over, and as the sunlight crossed her face, she stirred. Whether it was the sound of birds and bugs and the soft swish of leaves. Or the smell of fresh air and old wood that woke her is unknown, but she woke with a start, the start that comes with the first awakening in a new place. It’s always disorienting, the misremembering of where “home” is that first morning. Especially when wrapped in that blanket that smelled so much like before.

She got up and used the bathroom and had a cup of water and took a moment to enjoy the silence. Then her heart sank. She checked the time. It was after 9am. Why hadn’t he been awake by now? She rushed to the bed and frantically searched beneath the weighted blanket. It’d never felt so heavy. She patted around the bed as she felt for him, pulling the blanket as she did. The seconds felt like hours as her mind wondered if she'd fully closed the door in her exhaustion. Was it possible someone had tracked them? She finally pulled the king sized quilt fully from the mattress. There he lay, soundly. She breathed a sigh of relief as her heart rate calmed. Everything was okay.

She made him a bottle and went back to bed to feed him. She made herself a small bowl of fruit and ate as she checked her notifications. She had lots of missed calls, but she ignored them all. She had lots of voicemails but she deleted them all. All the texts she’d gotten, “Where are you?” “We just want to talk” “No one’s gonna hurt you” and so on, she swiped away. She double checked that her location sharing was disabled on all of her devices. Thankfully, it was. She was confident that no one could find them.

Now, some may say the decision to take up in a cabin in the middle of pretty much nowhere that she found on craigslist, was less than responsible. But the old man seemed nice enough when they talked, he was only asking for $300 a month, and he accepted cash. He was also willing to meet her and let her in when they arrived, which was after 1am that morning. What she was focused on was keeping them together and[ safe. That was now her responsibility, solely. And first on the list for their safety was finding a place somewhere no one else would look. And she succeeded.

He didn’t eat much of his bottle but he sometimes got that way after a change to his schedule. She put the bottle in the fridge and laid him across her lap so she could get some work done. She worked online as a tutor and she also did small art gigs. The money was good for a 17 year old living at home with her parents, but now that she was going to be living on her own, and caring for a baby by herself, she knew she'd need to figure out how to make more money, and fast.

Once she’d gotten through with her day of work, she decided she should grab a few applications from the nearest town. She fed the baby, getting more food on him than in him. Gave him a much needed bath since he’d gotten quite stinky, got him dressed and packed a bag. She had some trouble getting him into his car seat. He always stiffened up when she tried to buckle him in. But once he was secure, They headed into town.

The baby was fast asleep by the time they reached town so she decided to leave the engine running and just run into each business and quickly grab an application if they were hiring. Once done, she got herself some fast food and headed back to the cabin.

She checked her phone once again. There were lots of missed calls but only one voicemail. She checked who it was from. It was from Mom. Her heart rate increases as she reluctantly presses play.

“Jessie…Jessie honey its Mom. Jessie, please call me back. We saw the video. Jessie…just…you need to come home! YOU NEED TO—“ She deletes the message without listening to the rest.

Days go by in much of the same way. Wake, work, take care of the baby. Some days they go for a walk. Some days they go for a ride. But mostly they nest together. But every day, she ignores the calls, the texts, the voicemails.

One evening while laying in bed there’s a knock on the door. She sits up, startled. She wonders who it could be. No one should know where they are. She pats and shushes the baby as she decides what she should do. She takes a moment and then decides to answer. She scoops him up and places his head over her shoulder. She pats his back and hums to him as she slowly walks to the door, her heart pounding in her ears as her head swims. Her stomach clinches as she forces her body to take another step. She extends a trembling hand towards the door knob as thoughts flood her mind in rapid succession.

Who could it be?

What do they want?

What do they know?

How do they know she’s here?

Should she answer?

Should she run?

Where could she go?

She places her hand on the knob and takes a deep breath. She wonders what’ll happen next. She wonders if whoever was there had come to take him from her. And what would she do if that happened.

A flood of images and memories from the last 10 months flood her mind, unbidden. Him as a newborn, swaddled in a hospital blanket. The day mom and dad brought him home from the hospital. Feeding him, changing him, rocking him to sleep. The feelings of love and adoration she had for the baby. How she became his favorite person. Him reaching for her every morning when she came to check on him. She was his full time caretaker. She was basically his mom. Sleeping together night after night. Walks together, bike rides, his first snow day, his first taste of ice cream, beach days, swimming together. Swimming together. Her eyes well. She swallows, steadies her breath and turns the knob.

She opens the door wide. A sheriff deputy in a tan uniform and large hat stood on the steps. There were 3 cop cars and a black van parked across the yard.

“God almighty.” The deputy says aghast as he covers his face with his hand.

Jessie’s eyes fill with tears and her vision blurs. She knows they’ve come to take him.

“Jessie! Oh Jessie!” She hears a voice cry out and the crunching of earth as footstep approach her. She blinks away tears to clear her vision.

Her mother is running to her as fast as she can. She pats and bounces and shushes her baby brother for what she knows is the last time. Her mom gets to the base of the three step porch and falls to her knees, sobbing.

“Jamie! Jamie! NO! NO PLEASE! PLEASE GOD! JAMIE!” Her mother sobs, covering her face and rocking. Her dad approaches slowly, hands spread, palms up.

“Jessie, honey. Your mother and I…we saw the…we know what happened Jessie. Honey. Why did you run? Why didn’t you call an ambulance? It was just an accident honey. We know you didn’t mean to hurt Ja—”

“JAMIE’S FINE!!!” Jessie yells.

“Honey” her dad coos “we know he’s not fine. Look at him Jessie. He’s clearly not fine. Look at him.”

Jessie moves Jamie from her shoulder. She cradles him in her arms and strokes a curl from his face as she bounces and shushes him. She smiles and gazes lovingly at him as she pats his diaper.

“He’s fine. He’s napping now but we’ve been having a great time together. He really loves the fresh air.” Jessie says. Her mother sobs.

Uniformed men approach and surround the porch.

“Jessie. Listen, accidents happen. We know it was an accident honey, okay? You took off Jamie’s puddle jumper and took him inside for snacks, right? Yeah? And you put him on the floor to play as you chopped some fruit and made yourself a sandwich? And then you went to the downstairs pantry to get his crinkle crackers? And you came back and he wasn’t there, right? So you ran around and searched for him but you didn’t see him and then you saw that the back door was open. And then you went out to check. And there he was in the pool. Jessie. It was just an accident honey. A terrible, tragic accident that could’ve happened to anyone, okay? Please give me Jamie and come home so we can get you help. Please honey?”

Tears stream down Jessie's cheeks as she remembered that day. She gazes at Jamie’s face and whispers “he’s fine, you’re fine” over and over as her dad takes Jamie from her. He gazes at his little boy, grey where there should’ve been pink, firm where he should’ve been supple, cold where there should’ve been warmth. He hands Jamie to a man who zips the baby in a small black bag. Jessie continues to whisper that he’s fine as they escort her to a vehicle. Deputies help her mom to her feet.

An officer handcuffs Jessie and places her in the back of his car and drives away. As the vehicle leaves the property, the forlorn, muffled cry of a baby is heard by everyone.