Blue Skies

The world isn’t what it used to be. After the virus outbreak put us on lockdown for almost two years, War broke out, lasting five long years. The effects of nuclear and biological warfare mixing with the original viral outbreak have caused another worldwide pandemic. So the war is on “pause”, if that’s even such a thing. I don’t understand how the outbreak led to war. Most people don’t. Most people are in shock. They are so filled with fear the stench of it fills my nostrils when I step outside. The skies are forever gray.

Gray skies used to be my favorite. The smell of rain on its way to wash away my troubles. But this gray is a heavy sorrow. The earth is dying. There aren’t really any animals left. Plant life is almost nonexistent. The percentages of miscarriages and stillbirths have skyrocketed. The babies that are born in this war torn apocalypse are plastered all over social media. Seeing the tiny faces of those that fought to make it sends a warm glow throughout my body. I smile at their triumph. Tears of joy stain my cheeks knowing they persevered. Times are bleak and it feels like we will never see blue skies again, but babies are being born, and some people still find love. Love. It’s beautiful to see. It fills my heart with joy watching others find it. I haven’t had it for myself in almost ten years. Not since Ashley. The day she was taken from me is burned into my memory.

“Monica, it’s okay.” She stroked my head, letting her fingers run the length of my cornrows. Her gray sweats soaked up my tears. We knew they were coming for her. The task force created to purge cities of the afflicted had been getting closer to our area.

“Everything will be okay.”

“No it won’t be!” My head snapped up. She was blurry through my tear saturated eyes. Still, I could see how much she changed. Her cinnamon skin had lost its shine. Her voluminous curls no longer had bounce. Her eyes were red, as if she had left her contacts in too long. She lost a lot of weight. On the outside, she was a pale, lackluster version of her former self. She was still the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She made my heart light up. She always found time to laugh and enjoy life. I learned to live life to the fullest with her.

Banging on the door interrupted our moment. My eyes grew wide. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Everything moved in slow motion. The task force kicked in the door and ripped me from her. It was all a blur. I remember them holding me back as I fought to get to her. As they took her away she turned her head and smiled. Her eyes told me that it would all be okay. My knees crashed to the floor. A lump rose in my throat. I doubled over in pain. I couldn’t breathe. My tears hit the hardwood like raindrops. A nurse came in to test me for the virus. It was a skin prick but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t notice when the task force left. I didn’t move for a long time. When I finally got up my eyes landed on the floral patterned armchair that Ashley was sitting in. Such an ugly chair. Ashley absolutely loved that monstrosity. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I packed a few things and moved into an apartment across town.

Now here I am standing in front of our house. The red door reminds me that I had abandoned it. The lawn is neglected. The outside of the house looks like it’s been through war. But still, it stands strong. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with courage. I close my eyes, exhale and open the door. I step through. The smell of beef stew assaults my nostrils. My eyes pop open. I frantically look around. No one should be here. I didn’t sell the house. I couldn’t. There’s no dust anywhere. The lights are on. I walk in further. My eyes bulge. My heart stops. Am I dreaming? There she is. Ashley. Sitting in that ugly, floral armchair.

“Hey honey. It’s been a long time.”

I can’t move. I must be hallucinating. She looks different. She’s gained some of her weight back. She’s not as pale as she was when I saw her last. Her hair has volume again, but it’s shorter.

“Are you going to come over and speak to me?” She smiles with caring eyes. My chest warms, melting my frozen state. I run to her. I drop to my knees, sobbing in her lap. She strokes my shaved head.

“You cut your hair?” I nod. I can’t bring myself to form words. I can barely control my thoughts. How? Why? When? I don’t know where to begin.

“It’s okay honey. I’m here now. I’m sure you have many questions. I know I do.” A gentle laugh pours from her lips. “But that can wait. All that matters is that we’re together again.” She lifts my head from her lap and slides onto the floor. Her eyes brim with tears ready to fall. I throw my arms around her neck as she kisses me. Her lips tell me of all the pain she’s endured, how much she has missed me, and the moments of joy she’s experienced over these years. It fills me with a multitude of emotions. My body feels as if it will explode. There’s so much I want to tell her. So much I want to know. When we pull apart I am finally able to speak. “I’ve missed that awful chair so much.”

We both laugh. In this moment, I release the weight I’ve been carrying for so long. No more gray. My world has blue skies again.