Blink of an Eye

Happy music danced through the night sky, weaving in and out of the ship’s twinkling lights and up to dance around the moon lost forever somewhere in the night. The cruise ship plowed through inky black water away from anything real, causing a cold and forceful wind.

Samantha pulled her old school sweatshirt tighter around her hot pink cocktail dress. She had left the wedding celebrations at least an hour ago. The bride and groom were still happily lost in each others eyes when they weren’t hugging drunk guests and forcing people to dance. Between the rocking of the ship and the alcohol, half of the guests already ended up on the floor including Sam. She had used the excuse of looking for an ice pack to sneak away.

Heaven, the bride, had promised to set Sam up with a date when they finished saying their vows, but she must have forgotten. Not that she minded that, most of the guests were from their old school and she wanted to run as far away from those memories as possible. It was because of a guy of course. It was always about a guy.

A fin appeared in the water, so Sam grabbed the cold metal rail of the ship and got a blast of sea water up her nose as she leaned over the edge to see if it was a shark or a dolphin. It disappeared before she could tell. Just like Lorenzo. There wasn’t anything remarkable about him, it was her own feelings that kept her hanging on. Whenever friends moved on with their lives and forgot about her, she would hide in the comfort of the memory of him. The way he would hold on to her like she was the most precious treasure he had. The way he talked about her to his friends that they didn’t believe a girl like her would fall for him. The way he stayed up to 2 am talking to her when he knew he had an 8 am class to be up for. He had said it was a lie one day. It had taken her completely by surprise. Sunday they had gone ice skating, Tuesday they had tacos and tequila. Wednesday they were no longer on speaking terms.

Sam, slighting dizzy and tipsy, slid down the wall behind her and sat on the warmer wood of the deck. She didn’t notice a tall figure walking around the back of the deck away from the party.

She didn’t want to miss him since his social media posts showed that he clearly didn’t miss her. But she wanted to talk to him one more time. She told herself to believe his words, but she couldn’t help believing her gut. There were so many reasonable explanations he could have said but didn’t in the five minutes he took to rip her from his life. Maybe he didn’t want to settle down when he was applying for jobs on the other side of the country. Maybe his family didn’t approve, after all he did keep them a secret. But if he really cared what she thought of him, he would have just told her.

“Do I still have to mean everything I’ve ever said?” was all he had told her. He wasn't trying to be cruel, he said he meant it when he said it, but then things change. Feelings change. “I knew you were having a hard time. I promise I never meant to lead you on, I’m sorry that you misunderstood.”

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On the other side of the ship, a man in a matching sweatshirt drank a Corona while staring at the stars, trying to keep his balance as the ship rocked back and forth. He knew better than to come to a wedding alone. Drunk people were always loud, sloppy, and lacking personal space. He liked having a girl as an excuse. He couldn’t dance because her feet hurt too much from her heels and he couldn’t leave her alone. They were leaving early because she had work the next day.

Weddings sucked anyway. People are awful at communicating and eventually the fights always outweigh the laughs. As you grow and change you realize you have fallen for a stranger. There’s not enough emotion to justify staying together. He kept looking for an exception, but hadn’t yet found one.

He loosened his tie and bit and unbuttoned his collar. His dress shoes must have run small because they were hurting his feet.

Suddenly he remembered a pair of grey eyes. An old memory. I didn’t mean anything. It was the intensity he remembered. Everyone he had dated had forgotten him at some point, but her eyes locked on him with the ferociousness of a caged animal passing an open field. He didn’t know if it was love or hate. If it was hate, he wouldn’t be surprised, but if it was love, she could have been the exception he had been looking for.

He didn’t stay to find out. His name was called and he picked up his books without looking back. It’s been too many years now to call her. She would be a completely different person ... but the only one he was curious about. She looked like she would hate him forever when he left her after she recovered from her surgeries.

“Whatever I become in life, just know that it has nothing to do with you!” she yelled at him. He had seen her at her lowest and had liked her, he would probably think she was irresistible when he saw her at her best.

He wondered which she ended up looking at with. If it was hate or love, a high or low in those grey eyes.

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Tears streamed down Sam’s face. She clutched a fragile piece of paper in both hands, it bent and crumpled as they rocked. The force of the waves was getting stronger and she was pretty sure a storm was approaching. It’s difficult to tell when they were surrounded by black.

She had published five books already and had even hit the New York Times Bestsellers list, but no one knew that she had written one poem in her life. It was soaked in spots and smelled like salt but she wasn’t sure if it was from the ocean or her tears.

Icy blue eyes.

You look at me with those icy blue eyes that made my heart skip a beat.

It’s been years, but I could never forget those eyes, those-

Icy blue eyes

They were lies, you used to protect yourself.

So no one would know the soft and quiet dreamer you were

You couldn’t take those-

Icy blue eyes off me.

Even as you stood up and collected your things, your-

Icy blue eyes never left mine.

You said nothing stays the same forever,

But some things are etched in stone.

As I walk away, my heart pounding, all I see in my mind are those

Icy blue eyes.

She could still see the old memory of those blue eyes like it was yesterday. She saw them in every stranger. She saw them in the man that walked around the back of the to where she was sitting.

Sam looked up.

“Are you okay?” he asked her. She stared at his school sweatshirt.

“It’s cold.”

The stranger took off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around her shoulders, making her feel warm again. He sat down next to her and offered her a drink of his beer. It made her feel warmer stil. His face looked so handsome under the strings of lights that decorated the ship. Lights and shadows dancing with the music. It was a moment designed to fall in love again.

She leaned in toward him.

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She leaned closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m so dizzy.” she moaned.

He laughed as he pulled up the sweatshirts that were sliding down her arm. When the moon emerged from the clouds, he became bright enough to see the scars on her collarbone and small shoulders.

For once, he was glad he had come to a wedding alone. Curious to know more, he pulled the paper from her limp fingers, letting every word sink in. He hoped he would remember it in the morning.

She suddenly lifted her head and snatched it out of his hands, scratching him with her claws.

“It’s good.”

“I don’t need you to tell me that.” She ripped it in half, then half again, then again. Satisfied, she threw it through the holes in the railings to the sharks below.

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She knew in her heart that it wasn’t lost forever. She would remember it in the morning, and every time someone made her feel worthless.

She walked away from the stranger on unsteady feet, knowing that some moments were made to fall in love, but there wouldn’t always be twinkling lights. Without even a candle to guide her, she looked for something stable, something that wouldn’t disappear when she blinked her eyes.