Last Chance

You cannot escape until you fix your mistakes and find your life’s path...

A voice boomed over an intercom.

Jon ran down a hall unsure of what he was running from or where he was running to. It was like a dream; one minute the world was black, and the next he was running.

He was in a dark grey tunnel with green lights, straight out of a sci-fi movie. On one wall were old friends and employers:

Mr. Sweeny who had given him his first job in high school in a pharmacy. He found prescriptions really interesting, but one year he found other drugs to be more interesting.

Mr. McFarlen, owner of an ice cream shop he worked at all through college. The man had such a big heart, he kept the shop open even in the winter when no one bought ice cream, just to give the students a paycheck. There was no doubt in Jon’s mind that it’s bankruptcy had something to do with all the free bowls he gave to friends and girlfriends.

Ms. Mason ran the hospital where he was interning to be a respiratory therapist. She left when she had her baby and Mr. Leigh took over and mistakenly believed Jon worked there. A mistake he did not correct until he was found out 6 years later. He ended up being banned from graduation and practice for being “unethical.”

Ms. Greene ran the medical supply store he dramatically quit by leaving the truck on the highway and taking a cab to the Jersey Shore.

It was a hard wall to look at, but the other wall was worse. Old girlfriends. Some he couldn’t remember the names of, others he could see himself marrying, which was when he knew it was time to leave. Jenna. Madison... Hilary.

Hilary.

His high school girlfriend stood in front of him, still about 5’2” tall, straight brown hair to her shoulders, arms crossed over her chest, and her dazzling brown eyes.

“The pictures are there for you to look at and think about your life. Not for you to run past, dumbass.”

“Am I dead?” Jon asked.

She held up two fingers and pinched them close together as she rocked forward on her feet. He could smell the familiar scent of her lip gloss.

“Just a little.”

She was so short, so young, still just a 14 year old... He found himself grinning despite himself. He choked back tears. She crossed her arms over her chest again.

“You had a heart attack from all those cigarettes, and now you’re here until the higher ups can decide if you should live or not. Didn’t you hear me earlier? ‘You cannot escape until you fix your mistakes and find your life’s path.’ God had a plan for you and you blew it like a butthead. But he had a backup that was just as fulfilling but you sabotaged that too. If you’re going to keep ignoring your path, why should you stay alive?”

He looked around them at the pulsing green lights, avoiding the faces of everyone who had ever made him happy.

“That was your voice? Why are you even here? Don’t you belong on a wall?”

She flicked him on the forehead.

“I’m not real either. I’m just the person the higher ups thought you’d be most likely to listen to and open up to.”

“You deserved better-“

“That we can agree on. Shall we go back to the beginning then and find your path so you can live?”

He nodded and she snapped her fingers bringing them back to the picture of Mr. Sweeny. She gave a nod to follow her before walking into Mr. Sweeny’s frame and disappearing. Jon held his breath, closed his eyes, and followed her.

The store was just as he remembered it. Small, with walls of white chipped paint and a dark brown wooden wainscot and a dark wood trim. The linoleum floor was freshly mopped and smelled of citrus. Aisles and aisles of tan metal shelves with cough drops, decongestants, deodorants, cheap cologne, and cigars behind the counter. In the back of the room were four old chairs with worn out red fabric on metal frames.

Jon ran ahead of Hilary, ducked into the fourth aisle and looked at the flavored lip glosses for under $1, stopping on a green and pink one. He picked it up and handed it to her.

“Happy birthday.”

“Watermelon. You remembered?”

He shrugged.

“I could smell it on you when you leaned toward me earlier.” He smiled at her and saw the sides of her mouth twitch up before her face turned cold.

“Stop flirting and take this seriously. Is this where your passion for medicine started?”

Jon sighed, not wanting to talk about work and career goals.

“Yeah. He said he would pay my tuition if I promised to become a pharmacist and come back.”

“But you didn’t take his offer.”

Jon laughed.

“The man fired me!”

“No, you made him fire you. Why?” She tilted her head to the side waiting. It made him uncomfortable. He shifted his weight between his feet feeling small.

“I don’t know. I was young and dumb, let’s move on.”

Hilary rolled her eyes, walked to the front of the store and out the door. Jon followed suit, reappearing in the green hallway. Hilary had her arms crossed over her chest, examining the girls' pictures that came after hers.

“Nope, none of these were even close to ‘The One.’ They were just games to you. The birth of a player, huh?”

Jon shrugged.

“What can I say? I’m never satisfied with just one girlfriend. I’m like my dad. Now that we found my mistake, can I go back to earth?”

She grabbed him by the collar..

“That’s not the mistake, let’s keep looking.”

She went through the picture of his next job. A skinny hallway of a kiosk. There were three tables that fit two chairs each, then the ice cream bar behind a shield of glass.

Jon pulled a metal seat out for her and ran behind the counter to make her a special cup. 1 scoop chocolate 1 scoop strawberry with tons of gummy worms and cheesecake bites. All her favorite things. Her 90’s attire stood out from the shop, which was somewhere around 2013. While people were wearing yoga pants and neon bras, she was wearing a loose knee length dress, leggings, and butterfly clips. Her feet didn’t touch the ground either as she swung them.

He slid the cup across the table to her and stuck a green plastic spoon in it.

“Careful. Don’t get the chocolate ice cream on you again.”

“Again?” she asked, taking a bite.

“That’s exactly what you were wearing when we broke up. We had ice cream, you spilled some on your dress, and you cried that it couldn’t be fixed, that we couldn’t be fixed.” He sat down across from her with a scoop of vanilla.

“Of course I did. You said you didn’t like me anymore but didn’t have the guts to end things. I changed myself on every date but at the end of the day I was never good enough for you. You were never satisfied.”

“You weren’t the problem.”

“Then what was the problem?”

Jon looked down at his ice cream, then stood up throwing it away, before returning to the hall of photos. He walked down the line of girlfriends, with Hilary muttering something about each of them behind him.

“So then she’s probably the second person you slept with, huh?” she said pointing to a redhead.

“Probably.”

“Who’s she?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Oh but you remember my name? We didn’t even kiss.”

“Yeah, Well, It’s not everyday that your ex-girlfriend survives a shark attack. I’ll remember your name forever.”

He looked at her with the same amazement he looked at her picture on the news when she had gone back to see that shark again a year later, she stood on the boat with this orange dress that was fluttering behind her long hair in the wind and sunglasses on. She looked like a Hollywood celebrity with her thousand watt smile and her princess wave, instead of just a 17 year old adrenaline junkie.

He looked at her now and she turned from that 14 year old into the 17 year old from his memory. Only she lifted her sunglasses and he saw what no one else watching the news got to see. A tiny mole by her left tear duct. It was cute and her eyes still sparkled.

He remembered that day like it was happening again. How nervous he felt walking to her hospital room with a bag of cookies and a note. How he lost the nerve to give it to her and just left it outside her door for a nurse to discover.

His own reflection in the metal wall changed dramatically, reflecting the confused 17 year old boy he felt like. They went on for a while not saying anything very important:

“She’s cute. Why didn’t this one work out?”

“Beth? She was dating my friend at the time.”

“Ah. You always do go for the emotionally unavailable girls, dont'cha?”

**********************************************************************

“Why did you lie? They liked you, why not graduate and reapply?”

“I didn’t want to take the chance.”

“What chance?”

“They wouldn’t like me anymore.”

**********************************************************************

“Ah. This girl stands out. First girl you ever said ‘I love you’ to.” She said standing in front of Jenna’s picture.

“I did love her.”

“So why did you break up with her a week later?”

“Your mom gave me your note. Why did you do it? Every time I move on, you show up again?” He told her.

He heard her voice change and age to that awful year. A little lower, weak and gravely, with a real chip on her shoulder now.

“We promised each other we’d never leave again without saying goodbye... even though I did most of the leaving, I’m probably the only person you kept that promise with.”

Hilary was dressed in the black dress she wore in her coffin, after she died in a car crash at 22 years old. A tear rolled down his cheek and he knew the fun part of this tour was over. Her voice was harsh and unempathetic now.

“The other girls you loved are the same story. We need to walk into your last job.” She said pointing to Ms. Greene who owned the medical supply truck he abandoned.

“I can’t.”

“We need to talk about what happened.”

“No.” He shrunk down into the small boy he was when his mom died.

“Unlike me, you have a life out there waiting for you. Why won’t you take it?”

“I don’t want to be alone!” He cried, staring desperately into her no longer sparkling eyes, searching for something to hold on to. He pointed to the last picture. “My dad died that day. I pushed people away before they could leave me, but the last person left and I have no one.”

Hilary gestured to the unending hall behind them.

“Look at everyone who was in your life. Everyone who cared for you, and was there for you. You’re supposed to marry one of them and have three rowdy boys. I’ve met them up there, and they’re really great. They like to swim in that same creek we used to go to in middle school. The one with the rope swing. Remember that?”

Jon’s vision was blurry and his cheeks felt hot.

“You don’t have to live life perfectly. You just have to live it.”

He balled up his fists tight, rocking back and forth.

“I know what my life’s path was, or at least I think I do. But can I go back and save you first?”

Hilary pointed to the door.

“I don’t know your life path. Try walking through if you think you do.”