BLESS（art5）

8

Chen Yuan's narrative is too calm, open mouth to say hate, but the tone is very flat.

"Wait a minute," I interrupted him, "you said you and Zhou Hongxing bumped into each other on the road, had a quarrel, and you held a grudge, followed him and killed him. Now you say you didn't meet by accident, and you planned to kill him all along?"

"There were witnesses when I killed and dumped the body, but I had a quarrel with Zhou Hongxing. Are there any witnesses here?" Chen Yuan smiled, "So there is a quarrel or something, I say on the line, Zhou Hongxing has no chance to say."

"So your real motive for killing Zhou Hongxing was to avenge your childhood sexual abuse." "In that case," I understood, "it seems reasonable that you shot Ma Ming. Again, not because of the altercation, but because Ma Ming molested a young child and evoked painful memories of your childhood, so you shot him."

Chen Yuan said, "Yes."

I further thought that Chen Yuan had only contacted one gay friend since his imprisonment, which made us suspect that he had homosexual tendencies, which also became reasonable.

Because there are indeed many acquired homosexuals, childhood has been the experience of same-sex indecency, so as to forcibly reverse their sexual orientation.

However, step out of this story, think carefully --

In this scenario, there is the West Hill execution site, there are friends of the same sex, there is the same motive for murder, there are two victims, there is a death row inmate. It all adds up and makes too much sense.

It makes sense as if it were a novel based on reality, with all logic in it, in which he is the martyrdom protagonist.

"The stories you tell are truly painful. But don't make them up any more." I was a little impatient, "Let me ask you, you and Zhou Hongxing had a quarrel, there is no witness, then you were sexually assaulted by Zhou Hongxing in childhood? Zhou Hongxing's son hates your guts, you say he is your primary school classmate, but in fact he does not know you at all. Of course, you can also explain that after growing up, the face changes a lot, but the name should always have an impression?"

Chen Yuan disagreed, "My elementary school classmates basically don't remember the name..."

I interrupted him, "I understand your psychology. Some prisoners are just like you. They have nothing to do but to reform themselves. They only want to make up stories, fabricate facts to discredit victims, embellish their lives, rationalize their crimes, as if the whole world has betrayed you."

"So why should you be deprived of political rights for life, just to prevent you from making up such nonsense like this. Since you are so innocent and aggrieved, why did you not take proper measures before, and why do you" complain "now?"

Chen Yuan said nothing, thought about it, or insisted: "What I said is the truth, you don't believe me can't do."

"If you are telling the truth, then why did you explain the motive of the two murders as" a quarrel "before, and why did you only tell the so-called facts now?" 'I demanded.' Why not in court, but at the execution? '

"I can't answer that for the time being." "The story is not finished," Mr. Chen said.

"Then tell me."

But I suddenly feel like I'm missing something important.

9

Chen Yuan's narration (4) --

Kill Zhou Hongxing, Ma Ming, this is later, or let the time go back to ten years ago.

When I was a child, I developed a sociopath because I was sexually assaulted by Zhou Hongxing. My parents were so obsessed with me, my father finally gave up, my mother is still holding on.

My mother took me to the nearby Xishan execution site, let me watch the death penalty every day, and let me go to Doctor Yang for treatment, but failed to achieve the purpose of correcting me.

Instead, I found the way to salvation after reading Dr. Yang's psychology books.

I used to do those bad things, look happy, the heart is actually very confused; Then I realized that only by killing Zhou Hongxing could I truly be liberated.

I am no longer confused, nor did I talk to others, and still study and live quietly.

My academic performance is among the best, the teacher said I can be admitted to a key high school material, I have great expectations; My classmates and neighbors all think that I am a smart and well-behaved child, and I have never found anything unusual.

I read psychology books, and I often have unique insights. Dr. Yeung was eager to answer my questions, and he took me out to give lectures on psychology. He seemed to pass on his mantle to me.

Ordinary life is like a lake of still water, suppressing all the undercurrents.

At the age of 16, I was admitted to a key high school, and the day I received the admission notice was my birthday.

Mother was very happy that night. She bought cakes, cooked a big table, and drank a lot of wine.

At the dinner table that day, I made it clear to my mother that I did not want to go to high school anymore, that I had my own things to do, and that I had to leave.

But mother was too drunk to hear.

That night, I ran away from home.

Within three days, my mother called the police and found me and brought me back.

She whined and accused me of --

How could you do this to Mom, how could you not think of Mom...

It's really not easy for mom to give birth to you and raise you...

She's just a normal mother with normal demands.

But I'm not a normal kid. There was a structural mismatch between my mother and me.

Mother thinks she loves me, but she will only be my drag; She would not let go of me, and I almost suffocated.

I really can't bear the unbearable weight of life. The strings in the mind become tighter and tighter, and will break at any time.

In this state, I still went to high school.

I'm not sure if my mother heard me that night, but I went on studying and my mother went on working.

Every day before I go to school, I have a look at the Xishan execution site. Those scenes of executed prisoners being shot are as boring as commercials on repeat.

One day, my mother opened the window and watered the orchid with her head down.

I suddenly said: "Mom, look up, a man is going to be shot, his head is going to explode."

We used to know it without saying it. This time, my mother was ashamed and angry, but she did not dare to look up.

The shots rang out, and I threw myself into bed as a prank.

Mother slammed the door and left.

During that time, the relationship between my mother and I was very tense, and we did not pay attention to each other at home, while our mother was still loving and filial outside.

Mother struggled to maintain a surface of calm, I accompanied her acting.

Such days are too painful, the presence of my mother makes me extremely depressed.

Once, Dr. Yang went to the orphanage in town to give a lecture, and I went too.

At the orphanage, I met a child named Yuan.

At the same age of 16, the orphanage encouraged A source to go out to find a job and earn his own living as soon as possible; And I was tied to my mother, unable to leave.

A Yuan is interested in psychology, and we have similar interests, often discuss together, and become friends from time to time.

When I was in high school, I went to the orphanage after school and stayed with Yuan all day.

I'd rather stay in an orphanage than go home.

One of the teachers at the orphanage joked that I owned the orphanage.

10

The orphanage.

Because I don't know much about Chen Yuan, I have been passively receiving information, but just now I felt that something was wrong.

Hearing this, I finally realized what the problem was.

-- On Chen Yuan's own resume.

My colleague told me that Chen Yuan is an orphan.

In Chen Yuan's story, the father has left early, and until now, there is still the mother.

I have a very bad feeling about this.

Chen Yuan said his father left because he was afraid of him.

Aside from Chen Yuan's own statements, I really do not know Chen Yuan, and I have not seen his files.

I went out and asked my colleagues to take Chen Yuan's file and returned to the position to continue.

"The orphanage is a good place." "It's very free and nobody cares," Chen said. "The children in the orphanage envy me, and I envy them."

"You say you envy orphans, don't you?" I confirmed it slowly.

Chen Yuan repeatedly stressed that his mother depressed him, his mother bound him, his mother was his drag, and he could not smoothly embark on the road of crime.

He said he envied the orphans.

I immediately blood welling up, "Chen Yuan, you make it clear, what else did you do?"

"What do you think?"

"You are a demon, you are born a demon..."

It's hard to imagine that such people really exist in the world.

- Not even worthy of being called a man.

"Devil, am I?" Chen Yuan asked rhetorically.

"I can't help it..." Chen Yuan whispered, the eyes became extremely dark, "Once I also have a happy family, once I was a good boy, I am smart and sensible, parents love me, everyone sees me to praise, said I have a future, I will be admitted to a good university, have a good job, get married and have children, filial piety parents."

"But that day in the second grade, my world changed completely, I was destroyed by that person. My father refused to help me, abandoned me; my mother, who knew nothing, would only keep pushing me. I was left alone, I was isolated, no one knew how desperate I was, how painful.

"I was taken here and there by my mother, and she made me go to see executed prisoners, and she made me go to psychotherapy. I endured despair and pain for her, and I lived a normal life, and I went to middle school, and then high school, just to satisfy her. But who cares what I want? Mother, she squishes me, she circles me, she makes me be what she wants, does she care what I want?

"I am a walking dead, the only meaning of life is to kill that animal, I just want to save myself, just want to free myself, what's wrong with me? But she just won't let go, she is clinging to me, just won't let go, I really have no way..."

"Even that does not justify murdering your mother!" I was furious, "You have a reason to hurt other people, but you have no reason to hurt your mother, she has done nothing wrong. She gave birth to you, raised you, can not let go of you, just because she loves you!"

"She could have abandoned you like your father, saved her life, and moved on, but she didn't. She moved with you several times, worked several jobs to treat you, and went to great lengths to keep your secret, because she didn't want you to do something wrong, and she didn't want you to go down a path of no return.

"She knows you have a sociopath, but she never flinched; she was afraid of the execution scene, but she was never afraid around you. She loved you so much, trusted you so much, and you repaid her like this, are you still human? You killed the person who loved you the most in the world, you are a fucking demon, a real demon, and you deserve to die, even if you were shot once!"

Chen Yuan said: "Doctor Lu, have you so psychological counseling? You so I before the psychological pressure will not be greater?"

"I can only say that your purpose has been achieved. I am afraid that you will not be sentenced today, and you can die a few days later. - So this is your purpose. You can just say that there is no need to make up such a long story, and no amount of background introduction can whitewash your guilt!"

If there is a new case, a new trial is required. A combination of charges. The execution needs to be postponed.

"Can you die a few days later?" Chen Yuan pretended to be surprised, "Then if I offer a case in a few days, is it possible to die a few days late?"

I mean, it's like I'm sorry I killed less. To use the lives of his victims, one of whom is his own mother, to perpetuate his own sinful life is unconscionable.

"I was wondering why you were so calm before the execution, but now I understand that you are really -" I gnashed my teeth and wanted to scold, but I was exhausted.

I got up angrily and prepared to report the matter.

At this time, the colleague sent Chen Yuan's file. I threw it on the table and didn't intend to look at it again.

"Dr. Lu, I didn't confess anything." Chen Yuan stopped me, "Besides, are you sure you don't want to look at my file?"

I looked at him and hesitated for a moment before opening the file.

One glance at the first resume --

From 1990 to 1998, he worked at Sunshine Children's Welfare Home in Xishan County.

I double-checked. That's what it says in the file.

What's going on?

That's not right.

He obviously moved to Xishan County with his mother in 1995, how could he live in an orphanage in 1990?

"I've learned..." 'I murmured.' You're making up stories. You've made up everything you've told me today. I had my doubts at first, but finally I believed it... '

"No, I'm not making it up." Chen Yuan put away his smiling face and said, "Let me emphasize again that what I said is the truth. You think I made up a story because I have not started to tell many details. If the details are not clear, they will naturally feel unreasonable."

"Besides, Dr. Lu, don't accuse me on a high level based on random assumptions. You have no right to accuse me." "Fifteen minutes to go," Mr. Chen said. "Let me continue."