Blatherskite

1 - A quiet wait

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. There was only two of us occupying the four-wheel drive monster that was chosen for this mission. Lolli was driving while I consulted the map; it was not hard to find the cabin, now we just needed to wait. When we pulled up to the cabin, I got out and assessed our situation. There was only the one road, no back way out, that was good. I double checked to make sure our tracks had been properly concealed, they were. I also made a mental note to let Sax know that the vehicle, her new invention, worked like a charm. We found a good place to conceal our conveyance and then we entered the cabin.

It was a nice little cabin, cozy and warm. A fireplace was set inside one wall, a pile of wood stood ready to be sacrificed. A fold out couch sat in the middle of the room, and a small kitchen was located on the opposite side. A beautiful bookcase laden with books was available for guests to peruse. Two raised lofts provided extra sleeping quarters for extra company. There was also one master bedroom which could be accessed by a secret door located behind the bookcase. Lolli concealed herself behind the bookcase while I took my place sitting on a chair next to the fireplace. I decided a nice fire would set the mood perfectly, so I set upon the task quickly. Soon the fire was roaring, I imagined the smoke billowing from the chimney and what my future guest would think upon his arrival.

“No matter, he will still come.”

I sat down, put my feet up to warm next to the fire, and lit my pipe. I thought about the situation I was in and all the events that led me to where I was now. I did not like being here, having to do this kind of work. But it was necessary, or so I was told. I wanted to go home to be with my family, but first I had work to do. Lolli volunteered to be my second on this mission, and thankfully so. She was as sweet as pie yet cool as ice in tough situations. This was undeniably a tough situation. So, I sat by the fire, smoking my pipe, contemplating the ups and downs of life, and thinking about how best to deal with the problem that was currently headed straight to me. In the end, there was truly only one individual responsible for me having to haul my ass around the globe. From Aukland to Amsterdam, and from New Deli to New York City, Jynx has been a pain in the ass every step of the way. Until now, we had always been a step or two behind, but that changed tonight. Jynx was out of control, he was a loose cannon, he was a damn Blatherskite, and.... he was coming down the drive.

2 - The naughty list

Jynx approached the cabin cautiously. There was smoke coming from the chimney, but the host did say he goes above and beyond for his guests. Jynx was ecstatic when he booked the cabin, he could have never done it twenty years ago. The digital made everyone’s life easier, even for his kind. Although it had never been about the ease of accomplishing their great task each and every year, but about the magic. Without the magic from all involved, the whole empire would come crumbling down. Which is, of course, why he was here. But, this cozy A-frame would be his temporary hideaway, a comfortable place to lay low until he could meet with the reporter in two days. Back in the day, he would have had to call and inquire about the cabin for rent, and then he would most likely have to meet the guy who was renting the place. And when people would come looking for him or asking questions, people would talk.

“Oh, you mean that funny little man with the funny little ears? Sure, he is renting the old Miller place. He is sure to be alone and vulnerable, please go pay him a visit.”

That was then. This is now. And now he did not have to worry about unwanted visitors coming around asking questions. He entered the cabin while whistling a well-known wintery tune but stopped abruptly when he noticed a figure sitting in a chair silhouetted by the fire. The figure did not move as smoke puffed up from the pipe in his mouth. The figure continued puffing on the pipe, producing a surprising amount of smoke. He gathered the smoke into his mouth and let it spill out again. As the smoke left the figure’s mouth, it formed a long arrow that drifted towards Jynx before coming into contact with his chest and dispersing into whisps that lingered in the air.

“You,” said the figure in the chair, “have been a very bad elf, Jynx. The big man sent down the word, you are on the naughty list.”

“Holland? Is that you?” Jynx asked, squinting his eyes to try and see better. “I didn’t think they would send a fixer. I figured the fat man would just send a freezer and be done with it.”

“Well, this is a situation that needs to be fixed, so why not me? Now, why don’t you sit down? I’ll make this quick, and if we can come to some sort of agreement, we can both leave here on our own feet.”

“I’m not changing my mind, Holland. People deserve to know the truth. The truth about Christmas,” said Jynx. “If you think you can come here and intimidate me, you are wrong. Not a chestnut’s chance roasting over an open fire!”

“Why do you think you need to do this? I mean really? Because people deserve to know the truth about Christmas? Don’t give me that reindeer shit. You spill the marshmallows on Santa, the veil lifts, and the magic is gone. People would shit snowballs if they knew the truth, you damn stupid elf!”

3 – Freeze

I could not believe what my pointy ears were hearing. This elf thinks he is doing the world a favor by revealing that Santa is real, I mean actually real? I was angry and I did not have the inclination to try and hide that fact.

“Yes folks, Santa Clause is real but the magic makes you forget once you get to a certain age. Of course, not a single elf knows what age that is exactly, but at some point, you will all stop believing. But that is by design. You will then spend the rest of your life thinking that you are responsible for the presents under your tree that say, “From Santa.” But truly, a complete stranger that you have only heard stories about, stories you don’t believe, is sneaking into every house in the world to leave presents.” I looked at Jynx curiously, because I was genuinely curious at how he thought that would go. “You know, I am almost tempted to let you go through with it. Because it truly sounds insane. People do not believe in magic, Jynx.”

“Someday they will, someday people will know the truth. Why not now?” Jynx was making a passionate counterpoint, but I was not here to debate the future of the veil. Or the merits of Jynx’s plan for that matter.

“Mr. Kringle believes the status quo is what is best for us and the rest of humanity. He is one of the most powerful magical beings in existence, what makes you think you know better than he?”

“Mr. Kringle is not as powerful as he would like to believe,” said Jynx with finality.

I wondered what he meant by that, but no matter. I had decided on my best course of action. I was even mildly relieved, I did not want to have to kill Jynx.

“I would appreciate if you told me your contact, the journalist. We know you are meeting her in two days. We know where you are meeting her. But we do not know who she is, it would go a long way in helping your case, my friend.”

Jynx remained still and silent in his seat. I wondered how long he would remain stoic.

“Well, I guess that is it, then. Lolli?”

Jynx’s eyes widened at the sound of her name. He turned, fear and surprise written all over his face, and looked up at her. Lolli, short for Lollipop, laid her hand on his shoulder, Jynx looked like he wanted to run but it was too late. Ice began to form on his shoulder. It quickly spread over the rest of his arm, his chest, legs, and then his feet were all covered in turn.

“I’m sorry, Jynx,” I said, as the ice crawled over his face and head.

“Get the cart, we are going to have to wheel him out of here. Make sure he is nice and secure for the trip north.”

4 – Strange interview

Molly had been waiting for over half an hour before the guy finally showed up. She had almost left the café half a dozen times, convincing herself that this was just some big joke. She would probably end up on some prank show about gullible people falling for hilarious pranks that they should have seen coming. She would then convince herself that this was not the case.

“Just sit quietly and order another cup of coffee,” she told herself every time this happened. But she was not sure about this story, not sure at all. It just seemed to outlandish, too good to be true, so unbelievable that it truly cannot be believed. But what if it was true? What if she, Molly Hildergrad, revealed one of the biggest secrets of all time? It would make her the most famous journalist in the world. No, of all time. Just then, a short man entered the café and quickly made his way to her booth. He sat down and nodded his head in greeting.

“How’s the food here?”

“Not sure, never been here before,” Molly replied.

“No matter, I always have the same wherever I go,” said the short man. He had a stocking hat pulled down as far as it would go, covering his ears, forehead and most of his eyes. It was almost comical. The waiter came over and took their orders. Molly stayed with black coffee.

“Bacon, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, and French toast. Extra syrup. Oh, and a cup of hot chocolate, please,” said the short man.

The food came quickly. The short man, Molly had to remember to ask his name, ate more quickly than she thought was possible for such a small person. When he was done, the man went on with their business without any more preamble.

“So, here are the goods. I told you I had them and now here I am, delivering the goods.” The man had a smile huge smile plastered across his face as he handed Molly a thick manilla envelope.

Molly opened the envelope and started to skim through the pages. There were photos, maps, letters and lots of other correspondence. But this was different than the preview he had given her before. When the man first contacted her, Molly said she required a strong piece of evidence before she would even consider a meeting in person. What she had received was too good to be true. It was a video clip showing someone, supposedly Santa, wrangling eight reindeer in line in order to hook them to his sleigh. There were elves too, running back and forth, helping Santa calm the reindeer. It was unbelievable to the max. Here was someone claiming to be from the North Pole. Someone that knows for a fact that Santa Claus exists, and from what she could tell, had lots of evidence to back it up. And they came to her. At first, she was incredulous, but after having the video clip analyzed, she took the meeting.

“Either someone has technology that they are not sharing, or this is legit,” said Baker, her go to sleuth for all things faked.

But what she held in her hand made her want to puke. Was this some sort of joke? The first photo she pulled out was of a man badly dressed as Santa Claus trying to mount a horse with obviously fake antlers. The next photo showed the same man flat on his back and the horse kicking the air. She pulled out a map of what was supposed to show the location of Santa’s village. Instead, she held a map from some chain restaurant that shows every location of one of their restaurants in the country. She put the contents back in the manilla envelope, stood up, put ten dollars on the table, and left the café without another word to the strange short man that had just wasted her time.

5 – You better watch out

I leaned back in the booth and stretched with immense satisfaction. I found Jynx’s stash of evidence in his vehicle and disposed of what needed disposing of. And what did not need to be disposed of, I kept. For you never know when something like that could come in handy. One must always watch out when it came to the big man. I wondered how long they would keep Jynx on ice. Would he ever change his mind? Maybe the world should know the truth, it would certainly make things more interesting. Perhaps the veil has been in place for too long, perhaps there is nothing that can change that. I doubted one elf and one journalist could bring down the whole veil, but I have been surprised more than a few times in my centuries on earth. I think we give the humans too little credit. Maybe they would handle themselves with dignity and honor if they saw the truth. Or maybe they would scream and run at the sight of a real tooth fairy. No matter, the job was done and I was satisfied with the conclusion. Mr. Kringle had a problem and he sent me to deal with it however I saw fit. The problem has been solved and the fixer can finally go home for the holidays.