Blackulus

"You wanna talk lazy? You ain't seen lazy until you heard the tale of Blackulus. The world's most important Superhero ever to become a lazy sack!"

"A black Superhero! Cool! Was he always lazy, grandma?"

"No, honey. He wasn't always lazy... He claimed he got his powers from a microwave oven explosion when he tried to cook a tv dinner... He didn't know you can't put aluminum in those things. Anyways, no one believed that story. Everyone who knew his mother said she did heavy drugs while pregnant with him. That's how he got 'em, Shugga."

"Cool, Grandma. A superhero crackbaby! What was Blackulus like?"

"He was charming, a real looker. If I hadn't already been married to your grandpa, I would have... um... let's save that part for when you're older. Anyhow, he helped the community in ways no one could. When Slyvia from the block was depressed and couldn't pay rent, he transformed her food stamps into cold hard cash. When people started complaining about the quality of guvment cheese, he turned it all into Swiss, my favorite! And yes, he fought the hell out of crime and sent a lot of bad people to jail. But the day he started smoking weed, he changed."

"Cool, Grandma! I can't wait to smoke weed when I get older."

"No no no, boy. This is not about that... Anyways, Blackulus would rather roll a blunt and play Nintendo than fight crime. If you needed something done you had to bribe him with a bag of weed or donuts. He became so lazy he would take a taxi to destinations instead of flying. Then, he just simply disappeared."

“Wow Grandma! How do you know all this?”

“Because I was his dealer, honey… Wonder what he’s up to these days”