Bittersweet relations

As if any of this really matters, I guess I can tell you about it. Believe it or don’t, that’s not my problem. Anyway, let me get into this.

It wasn’t even that I liked chocolate, the thought of it always disgusted me even as a child. No, it was something else. Something was telling me, urging me to slip that little bar into my pocket. And for some reason or other, I did.

Now, on the list of, let’s call them ‘acts’ I may or may not have partaken in that would be what some consider as “less than admirable”, this was by no means a serious offence. In fact, I may go as far as to say it is part of my civil duty to even out the wage gap between us and those corporate office millionaires. I’m a good guy, I do what I’ve gotta do to survive in this world, in this day and age. I’m not out to get anyone or cause any sort of trouble. The past few years of my life have been a struggle, I’m not going to lie. I wish I could say things were going well, Hell great even. I’ve just been having a hard time adjusting to living here in the city. It’s been four years, but that time has not treated me kindly. The only saving grace, the only thing I’ve had to look forward to these past four years is her.

There is this girl who lives across the street, one building over. This girl is like nothing I have known. The first day I saw her was the day she moved in.

It was a hot day, pretty humid but nothing compared to how it would get by the end of the summer. I was walking up my side of the street, returning home after getting a bite. There was a big old moving truck parked in front of my building, with a couple of guys grabbing stuff off and hauling them across the way and into her building. She was standing there, and let me tell you, I nearly fainted when I spotted her. The way she carried herself, you could tell she was a jogger. Slim figure, with a light bounce in her step. That, and you could see her jogging every morning around the neighborhood.

Sometime around last spring, I noticed this girl frequenting one of the local coffee spots with a couple others. Must have been some sort of book club, seeing as they always had some literature on the table they would point to on occasion. This is when I learned how I was finally going to get this girl’s attention.

Every Time their little group met up, she would sit down, order herself a cup of coffee, and this little piece of cake to go with it. I went in and tried it once, I just don’t get it. Chalky little pieces of dark chocolate mixed with a rich, sweet milk chocolate frosting?

Who am I to judge the eating habits of others? We’ve all got our sins.

Anyway, this was my ticket. My hopes were set high, the stars were the limits! Nothing could go wrong, I knew this girl. Ever since she moved in, I’d catch her here and there going about her life. I understood who this girl was, what her habits looked like, how she viewed the world.

Such a stunning creature to behold! I found myself engaging in a plan twofold:

First, venture down to the coffee spot in the morning soon after they open, find myself a comfy spot, and order a slice of cake. Luckily she normally paid a visit to her favourite craving after jogging, giving me some time to familiarize myself with the crowd.

Next, all that needed to be done was simply wait for her to make her entrance, and proceed to invite her for some morning coffee, pointing out that I recognize her to be a tenant across the street from myself.

The morning I would put my plan into action had other ideas. On the way, I decided to stop at the corner spot to grab a snack for later. So I’m waiting in line, something about due process that really slows my brain down and gets me antsy.

I notice they’ve got a few candy bars on a shelf beside me. I think to myself ‘If this girl likes chocolate cake so much, she’ll probably appreciate some candy as well.’ And before I realize it, I’m putting the thing in my pocket. Now, in hindsight I know what I did may be wrong, but I believe it was truly for a good cause, so I took it. Should’ve been paying more attention to the moment and not daydreaming about that girl, else I probably would have noticed the very unappreciative officer waiting behind me.

And so, your honour, I will leave you with this. I admit, I am guilty on account of the petty theft, yes. However, I am not guilty with regards to any of the other previous accusations. I will not stand by and let my name be dragged by these warrants of alleged activity. I will not stand for the injustice in this system, the hypocrisy of the leaders who CLAIM to be about the rights of the individual. Where are my rights now!?...Where are they?...

Dennis was found guilty on four counts of aggravated assault, two counts of breaking and entering, several counts of possession of narcotics, as well as a violation of a previous restraining order.

He is facing up to 32 years at Monroe County Correctional Facility.