Birds of Improbable Paradise

"Oh, Dear Lord," I can't help but think to myself as I see a massive Philadelphia Eagles beach umbrella lying camp in front of me. As if the beach umbrella wasn't extra enough, the man who owns the novelty umbrella also is sporting Philadelphia eagles swim trunks and a Philadelphia eagles sunhat. Of course, how could he forget his Philadelphia eagles beach towel? This man is ridiculous. So is the idea of him blocking my sun! & My designer beach aesthetic, too, ugh.

As a fashion influencer, I am sent on posh trips like this luxurious trip to Bonaire. I was sent here to post a designer swimwear collection. I worked hard to score a sponsorship for Revolves luxury swimwear rollout, AND I got Tom Ford sunglasses in on the campaign. This man was not going to ruin it with his obnoxious fandom. I don't even know how someone so tacky finds themselves somewhere so fabulous anyway.

"Umm, excuse me, sir," I shouted, and admittedly my tone was somewhat irritated, but I was also irritated by the unsightly paraphernalia.

I didn't really get a good look at the man who put down the beach novelties, but I already had a vivid image of him in my head. I was expecting to see an obnoxious sloppy monstrosity of a man. I imagined someone that looked like they had buffalo wings and beer for breakfast and shouted "GO BIRDS" when his meal was done.

"SIR!"

I was getting irritated now. This bafoon was ignoring ME! I could not stand it. Plus, my account manager needed a post ASAP. I had been taking my time on pushing content since the luscious tropical waters here made work really hard to get to.

I approached the sea of midnight green before me, ready to go OFF, but I was thrown off by what I saw lying under the umbrella. To my surprise, it was not a big bumbling blob as I imagined but what appeared to be a handsome, fit man. I couldn't see his face very well as his hat was draped on his face to mimic an eye mask, and his headphones were set to an obnoxiously high volume. It was loud enough for me to tell he was listening to words, not music.

I froze at that moment, I didn't feel the same fiery energy I had before, and fate was on my side, not making him aware I was there. I thought quick, though, and being the cunning person I am, I proceeded with my new plan and gently tapped this tacky but dashing stranger on his shoulder.

When my finger grazed his shoulder slathered with sunscreen, he flailed his whole body and let out a squeal. I had never seen someone so animated, but once he gathered himself, I chuckled.

"Hi! I am Aubrey! I'm sorry to interrupt uhhhhh…whatever this is, but I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?"

He lifted his sunglasses and revealed his azure eyes as sweet as cotton candy. This trip was going to be interesting now.

"Hey Aubrey, I'm Tommy. You're not interrupting much. I'm just listening to a lecture. What can I do for you?" He was very enthusiastic about whatever I could be asking for before knowing.

I am more of the stoic type, so his enthusiasm, coupled with the obnoxious nature of his style, threw me off guard but color me curious. He was attractive enough to balance the wackiness out, and something about his vibe made me want to know more.

“Can you help me get some shots for my job?” I figured what better way to get his attention than ask him for help! The damsel in distress card.

"Oh yeah! But I'm not sure what that means" he looked so confused; it was cute.

"Wellllllll it means snap a bunch of pics for me posing with this gorgeous Bonnaire beach water in the background? pleaseee" I pulled out the pouty lips and doe eyes, trying to make sure the flirt factor was in full effect.

"Umm, I don't know how to use fancy cameras or anything like that, but I can give it a try!" He had the enthusiasm of a boy scout ready to earn a badge. I couldn't help but smile at how cute it was.

"Oh, Tommy, you're the best! The good news for you is no fancy camera equipment is needed! Just a phone will do. I usually have my tripod, but I forgot to pack it today." I lied. I NEVER leave the house without my equipment. My manager Monica will kill me if I miss the peak content posting hours. Tommy didn't need to know that, though.

"Lucky you, I know how to use a phone camera!" He was full of excitement, and I don't know why I loved it, but I loved it. It was actually infectious. I got a little bit bubbly too.

WHO is this guy?

"OK, let's do this!" He was a little serious suddenly, but in the kind of way that he was trying to communicate that he was ready for this job like it was a mission.

"Awesome! Let's go close to the shore where there are fewer people, and I will do a few poses and make sure you catch the full bathing suit. Otherwise, don't worry about the angles or anything. That's the nice thing about having a beautiful landscape, it speaks for itself, and the suit they sent me is meant to complement my background."

"Oh, I didn't know that stuff even mattered! Thank you for teaching me something new." He was genuinely intrigued. My reaction? Obviously, still swooning.

"Aww, you're cute." Oh shit Aubrey, did you say that out loud? Whatever roll with it, let him know you are into him. "I'm glad you appreciate the marketing science. Back to the task at hand, though! Just give me a count, and don't make fun of me for the poses. My manager asks for them, and you would be shocked by what elicits engagement." I stood there a little awkwardly until he started counting.

"Oh, it's a judgment-free zone here! 1-2-3 and…. shooting!"

I did my thing for a good minute, then walked toward him to grab my phone back. I don't know how I missed the sharp sea shell I stepped on. Still, the equally sharp pain threw me off guard, and I let out an embarrassing "eep" before I knew it. Tommy had rushed over to me, picked me up, and carried me back to his little Eagles camp.

How embarrassing. Way to make a first impression Aubrey. I stopped thinking about the embarrassment and the pain when it clicked. I was cradled in Tommy's arms. They felt warm, and I loved how my head tucked into his chest. I lost sight of where I was until he put me on the beach towel. I'll admit that even though it was not aesthetically pleasing, it felt like a terry cloth cloud.

"Oh, my goodness, are you OK?" He asked me with deep concern in his voice. "Sorry for grabbing you like that, but you looked like you were in intense pain. I have an ice pack in the cooler. Sit tight, and that will help bring the swelling down."

"Oh, I'm OK, you're OK. Look at you! My knight in shining armor & nurse all in one!”

He let out a cute little chuckle as he iced my heel with, I could not believe it: a Philadelphia Eagles ICEPACK! Jesus Christ, is there anything this franchise does not slap its logo on?

"Alright, Tommy, I must bring up the elephant in the room. Or shall I say eagle? What's with this obsession?"

Yikes, wrong thing to say. Things got a little somber suddenly.

I don't do good with awkward silences, so after a good minute, I had to break it. "Did I say something wrong?"

It took a sec, but he responded, “You didn't say anything wrong. I'm sorry. I just get thrown off a little when it comes up." He was being so cryptic suddenly.

"You…uh, don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry for saying something." I couldn't hide the discomfort in my voice, but again, I'm not good with uncomfortable silences.

"No, no, I promise. It's OK. The Eagles are my favorite team, and they were my dad's favorite team too. He got me into them. This is all his stuff. He collected anything that had to do with the Eagles. I kinda inherited it." I could tell he was trying hard to hide his emotions, and now I felt awful.

"Was his favorite team?" I still asked him even though I knew it could be one of two things, but how freakin awkward if I guessed the wrong thing!

"Yeah, you heard right. He passed away 2 months ago." He couldn't hide the emotion anymore, and I could sense he was a little embarrassed now. I just wanted to hold him like he held me. So I did.

He let me embrace him, and he cried a little. We sat there hugging for a little while until he had cried it out enough, and he began to wipe his tears.

I didn't know what to say. I have never had to experience a loss like that, so I didn't want to be inconsiderate or say the wrong thing, but I couldn't not say anything.

"I'm so sorry, Tommy." Generic response, but I had no clue what else I could say.

"It's honestly OK. I'm sorry for making you feel weird by way of my sadness. My dad was my best friend. His birthday is in a few days. Actually, I came on this trip to sort of connect with him. I wanted to be cheesy and let his ashes go in the ocean, but my mom would not let, even though she knows he's a sucker for corny, cheesy things." He giggled when he shared that fact.

"I don't feel weird, I promise." I did not want to give the vibe that he was weirding me out because I was still into him. "Did your dad come out here a lot? I'm not going to lie; I'd never even heard of this island and came here on a brand-funded trip, so this is technically work for me."

"He did. He was a marine biologist. He is from Philadelphia, so that is where the Birds fandom stems from, but we live in California. His true obsession is sea creatures. He was a professor of Marine Biology at UC San Diego. I was listening to some of his lectures before you came to me. Anyway, he did some research in Bonaire when I was a kid, and it was my favorite family vacation. It became a tradition to come here even after his research was done."

It's hard to explain how his energy changed, he was definitely a little sad still, but he talked with pride about him. I could tell his dad was very influential to him, and I'd never met a person with such an interesting background. My dad was a car salesman before retiring, and I never went on tropical family vacations doing research on local wildlife. I couldn't help but play the comparison game. That is just a natural reaction to hearing about interesting stories, though.

"Your dad sounds like he was so cool, your life in general. How amazing." I was trying not to sound like too much of a suck up. I still wanted to play it cool.

"He was the biggest nerd but the coolest nerd, so yes. I wanted to be just like him. I went into medicine instead of Marine Biology, but my love for ocean animals still exists. It's been a little tough, I'm not gonna lie. Everything reminds me of him. I never thought I'd say this, but I even miss his ocean-related dad jokes." He was getting a little sad again, and I wanted to turn that around.

"Ocean jokes, you say? Drop your favorite one." I could tell it was an excellent call to pivot the conversation this way from how he smiled when I suggested he drop his favorite joke.

"What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?" He was giggling already as he was setting up the joke.

"Hmm, I don't know. What does she say?"

"I just don't sea it that way." He was uncontrollably laughing now, and I was laughing too, mostly at his reaction.

"That's what does it for you?! That may be the corniest joke I have ever heard." I was still laughing, and so was he.

"You should've seen my reaction when I was 10. That is just one of many, though. They came naturally to him. He loved making people laugh, and he was so good at it. I know he wants me to laugh instead of being sad, so I am trying to remind myself of that. It is still hard, though. Especially now with his birthday. My mom was sad that I came alone, but I kinda wanted to. Adjusting to his absence has been hard for me. It isn't helping surrounding myself with his stuff and listening to his lectures, but hearing his voice makes me feel like he's still here. Having his stuff also makes him feel close.”

"You don't have to explain it. I am glad you shared about him, though. I could tell he's really important to you." I reached for his hand, and he let me hold his hand. He was starting to get a little sad again.

"Do you want to laugh a little more?" He was tearing up now but still giggling.

"Yes, of course. Always."

"His birthday falls on Superbowl Sunday, and it's an Eagles Superbowl game. The idea of celebrating without him is painful. It's almost a cruel joke. Nobody in the world would have been as excited about the Eagles making it to the Superbowl as him. Let alone on his birthday. It just doesn't feel fair." He started crying again, and I held his hand tighter.

I didn't know what to follow up with, but I felt a little less awkward now. The catharsis was palpable and I was happy to help him feel some repose. We were strangers about an ½ hour ago, and here we are, sitting on the beach on a gorgeous island, and I am consoling him.

My phone is blowing up right now, Monica wants her photos, but it can wait. She will kill me for missing her very early deadline, but I will ignore her for now since I know it won't affect our clients. Dealing with her wrath will be worth it.

"I don't know what you believe in, and I don't know what to say if I will be honest. I hope this isn't the wrong thing to say, but I personally believe in a type of afterlife, and I know he is somewhere, we can call it heaven, smiling. Happy to know you are at one of his favorite places and that you will experience the game for him." He was still crying, and I moved back to hugging him instead of holding his hand.

"I know he is too. I truly do. It just doesn't feel right not having him in person. The collections of memories and sentimental items have always meant the world to me, and now they are literally all I have left of him. They have a new meaning, and now they are just relics of someone who used to be here. Painful reminders and I must learn to grow comfortable with the pain." Suddenly, he became melancholic, and it pained me to see him like that. I looked at my phone, and Monica was still blowing me up. I really had to get back to her before she literally blew me up.

"Tommy, I hate to leave you, but I must meet this deadline. I don't have to leave Bonaire til Monday. I know they're big shoes to fill, and I would never come close, plus I don't know a single thing about football, but if you want a Superbowl buddy, we can find a bar playing the game, I'm sure!" I have never made the first move or put myself out there like this, but I shot my shot and was praying it was the right move. "What do you think?"

Thankfully my proposal sparked a smile, "I would love a buddy, on one condition, though."

"Oh, we are setting terms now, huh! OK, let's hear this condition." I was curious about what it could be.

"You wear my Donovan McNabb Jersey, and we snap a pic for the grid. With the caption 'Go Birds!'" He had a mischievous smile. He obviously knew how tacky I thought this stuff was. And the idea of wearing a sports jersey?? Never has it even crossed my mind but for him? How could I say no?

"Tommy, you drive a hard bargain, and I must be clear, even though I never met the guy, I agree to this for your dad! Not you!"

"It's a date, then." He was grinning ear to ear now, & his mood had changed drastically. He handed me his phone and we exchanged numbers.

It's crazy how connections can turn our lives around and how giving someone you never would expect a chance can be such a good thing. I felt awful for my first reaction to him but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

"Well, I look forward to Sunday. I must get going, though. I will see you then. Thank you for playing photographer, by the way." I went in to give him a hug, and he hugged me back. It was a little longer hug; I didn't want to let go.

"It wasn't a problem at all. I'm so glad we met Aubrey. Thank you for playing therapist for me." He sounded a little embarrassed.

"It was no big deal at all. Enjoy your lectures, and I will text you this weekend!" I handed him his ice pack and began walking back to my stuff on the beach.

I hadn't made it very far when I had another genius Aubrey idea pop up. To be all cutesy and memorable, I looked back his way, and thankfully he hadn't put his headphones in yet. I yelled to him. "HEY! TOMMY!"

He looked up in wonderment, wondering what I was calling over about.

I smiled at him and yelled, "GO, BIRDS!"

He smiled back and yelled back, "GO, BIRDS!"