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Back When A Dozen Eggs Was A Dime A Dozen

🥚 🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

By Rowan Finley Published 2 years ago • Updated 2 years ago • 2 min read
Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-eggs-in-an-egg-tray-6669264/

A single woman went to the market. This was back in the days when a dozen eggs was a dime for a dozen. When the woman got home, she opened the carton. To her surprise, there wasn’t eggs in the carton at all but twelve tiny men that were each very different. She laughed with amusement, as she carefully observed them, declaring…

“Oh, what a surprise! Who knew men were a dime a dozen too?”

Man #1 spoke up. “We are the jury to bring a verdict of who your suitor should be. You are the judge who will decide. When you decide, the man you choose will become life size and the eleven others will turn into eggs.”

“Well, I am certainly hungry for breakfast and I’d like some scrambled eggs. So present your cases…”

Man #1 cleared his throat. “I should be your suitor because I’m strong as an ox and my hunting skills help me hunt any old fox!”

Man #2 stepped up straighter. “I should be your suitor because I am quite a genius and can solve any problem!”

Man #3 had green eyes. “I should be your suitor because I’m wealthy and can buy you anything in the world.”

Man #4 was a bit round. “I should be your suitor because I’m a great chef and can cook you the finest of meals!”

Man #5 shifted poses. “I should be your suitor because I’m a model and highly attractive.”

Man #6 laughed. “I should be your suitor because I’m a comedian who can make you laugh all day.”

Man #7 looked neat. “I should be your suitor because I’m an organizing fiend and I’ll help keep your house ever so clean!”

Man #8 whistled a bit. “I should be your suitor because I play lots of music and I’ll soothe you with my songs.”

The woman’s stomach rumbled from hunger but she kept listening to the tiny men present their pleas.

Man #9 held a red rose. “I should be your suitor because I’m very romantic and will be super sweet.”

Man #10 clutched a wrench. “I should be your suitor because I’m a handy man who can fix anything that breaks.”

Man #11 just smiled. “I should be your suitor because I’m an adventurer and I’ll show you the world!”

Man #12 was staring at the woman with affection in his eyes. To the woman, he said, “You are dazzlingly gorgeous, strong, smart and quite brave! I don’t deserve someone like you, so don’t be silly and choose a man like me to save!”

The woman’s stomach rumbled again. She smiled with a made-up decision on her mind.

“Man #12 is the one for me, as he is the most humble of all of you, you see!”

In a flash of an instant, man #12 became, as promised, life size and the other eleven turned into eggs. The woman and man #12 had a wonderful, delicious breakfast together. And, they lived happily ever after!

SatireMicrofiction

About the Creator

Rowan Finley

Father. Academic Advisor. Musician. Writer. My real name is Jesse Balogh.

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    Written by Rowan Finley