Auction

"We have our first item, you can peruse and examine it, to get an idea if you want it. I know you two will both want this, so I am expecting an aggressive bidding marathon, but when the hammer goes down, the hammer goes down, and it will be the end of the auction for this item".

" What is the currency for today's business? I don't want it to change"

"You always find something to complain about. Every time. The rules are what they are, and we are supposed to abide by them, not complain and piffling little trifles. You are always like this, slowing things down and making it more difficult for anyone else who is bidding. You do annoy me at times"

"You always try to wind me up, using your underhand methods. You are unscrupulous and devious, as well as being untrustworthy"

"Be quiet, you know the currency doesn't change, it can't do for what you are bidding for. If it were any other currency, this action could not take place. Now you have ten more minutes to evaluate, then we start the bidding at one hundred units."

"One hundred units? We normally start at zero. Why are we starting so high?"

"There you go again. Did you read the catalogue? If you had taken the time, you would know why this is starting so expensively"

"He is right, as he usually is. This is a very special item. Totally pure and a very rare example of this species. There are only the two of you going to be bidding for this, so I want you to show each other respect, as well as me, and respect for the process"

"OK, OK, let me examine it once more, and then we can start the auction"

"All right, now we will start the bidding. Do we have one hundred units to start with?"

"Yes, I'll give you one hundred, and I know that is a lot"

"Two hundred. I know that will probably break you"

"We have two hundred bid. Any more? Come on now, we are just getting started. This is a very special item"

"Two fifty"

"Are you slowing down already. Are you short? I can lend you some if you have no money. Four Hundred"

"Four hundred it is, I am waiting. Is that going to be the final bid? Going once, going twice......."

"Four fifty"

"Seriously, can't you put in a proper bid? Fifty units is nothing. Six hundred"

"Right, that's me done, I have nothing else. You can take it down to your place, I am sure the warmth will be perfect for it"

"No more bids? Are you out now? The hammer is going to come down. I think you both knew this was going to be very expensive, to the point of financially destroying the winner.

After all, it is not often that the soul of a saint comes up for auction, and Saint Peter's will be yours now for all eternity"