An Uncommon Friendship

The boy had been standing in the same spot for over an hour. As I watched my son Adam from my familiar perch of the kitchen window I noticed how the late autumn afternoon light illuminated his outline with an angelic orb that surrounded him. How many times had she stood right here washing dishes, Enjoying the day without fear or worry?

But that was all I could think of now.

As I watched my son Adam she realized he had never really left her- side for more than a few hours but this past week he had taken to standing out there every day. He sat on a fence under the tree that once held my daughter’s tree house. This had been his “spot” for the past eight days. The tree was large and the kind that kids loved to climb. In the tree were the skeletal remains of his sister’s tree house. .He had not been in it since he was 7 and had fallen, breaking his arm. Such a traumatic event and Adam had never really recovered from it. My daughter had spent so much of her childhood there. Keeping it there was a reminder of her.

My daughter Sarah was now 37 years old and lived in New York City. She had wanted to get as far from her native Oklahoma after she graduated and she left us that year and had only been back twice to visit. This last time she came home to pay her respects to her father.

The man who was my rock.

The rock of the family.

He was gone so I had to resign my hope she would come back now. Sara and I were so different and she had spent her childhood fighting for her independence from me. We were so different it was almost like sitting with a stranger. I gave her my unconditional love but it was not returned as well as I would liked.

Sterling was born when I was 23, mere 5 months after I was married. Her father and I had rushed to the altar that morning when the “rabbit died '' In 1958 you just did not have children out of wedlock so we were married in a rush. It could have easily been the town’s biggest scandal but Jeb was a man who was admired by all. People came from miles around because he had the uncanny ability to be able to fix anything. He was also very charming and compassionate.

He also had the kindness in him that allowed him to see the need and to be fair with his prices and he helped anyone who needed it and was much respected for this.

What would we do now that he was gone? It was just Adam and I now.

As I stood there watching my son I realized Jeb had been buried now for 9 days. I wondered how long it would be before I stopped counting the days. How long would it be before this vicious heartache would end?

Jeb’s funeral had drawn hundreds of mourners from the counties around us. So many folks with kind words. The kindness and the support was almost overwhelming. The visits and calls were beginning to dwindle now and all that remained was the crushing silence.

Adam was born when I was 47 and came completely unexpected. I named him after my father who was my first love. He had the same soulful brown eyes.

Adam had been deprived of oxygen during birth and needed to be resuscitated. Not much longer after the doctors told me he may not develop normally but I did not care. He was (and still is) my world. From the moment he was born I realized what true love was.

His joy was my joy.

Now his pain was my pain and my pain was his pain.

Adam was perched on the fence and nearby was Bo Bo. Bo Bo was an unusual choice of pets since he was a full grown bull.

We had purchased the bull shortly after Adam was born. Our plans were to use him for stud but he had gotten severe frostbite that first winter and was rendered sterile. Jeb wanted to sell him but Adam had grown a fondness for him. In fact his first words were Bo (bull)

So, he began calling his Bo Bo.

Over time two had developed a bond and Adam had spent countless nights out in the barn curled up in the hay near him. We could not separate the two of them.

While I was watching Bo Bo I could see Adam talking to him. Adam did not speak often but he would talk to Bo Bo. I had often wondered what he said to Bo Bo. The friendship was so unusual and it made me think of a 1956 movie called “The Brave One” which was about a friendship between a boy and his bull.

How often had humans and bulls bonded?

Adam had not spoken a word to me since the day Jeb died and had withdrawn into himself even more. He rarely even came inside. There he was now talking to that bull! It frustrated at times how easily he was able to talk with him and how he did not speak much to humans.

Bo Bo had turned out to be a blessing for all of us.

.

I suddenly had the urge to capture the beauty of this uncommon friendship so I grabbed my Nikon and crept through the back door to the side yard and approached from the m south. I was able to tiptoe and go unseen. I took my time but I was also aware of the light fading fast and knew this was a now or never moment. The back side of the white oak was shrouded by thickets where I could crouch down among.. As I approached I heard a voice.

I froze..

It was Adam’s voice and I was not used to hearing him speak often.

Adam had been teased about his speech impairment so he had turned into a selective mute. He could talk. He just chose not to.

As I approached I could hear his voice but could not make out what he was saying. Adam still sounded. like a child but his voice had started to change into a man’s voice.

It was the strangest thing. Two things struck me at once Adam had more language than I was aware of and at 12 he was facing his manhood.

Already?

Not yet. I prayed “ God PLEASE let him stay a child, My child”

It stopped me dead in my tracks because at that moment I was suddenly faced with the fear of losing him. Like I had lost Sara. But worse was the fear of him losing ME. I had made a habit of pushing that thought away but now I HAD to confront it.

Who would take care of Adam when I was gone?

Would he end up in a home?

Or homeless?

Will people treat him with kindness?

It made me feel so helpless.

Just then I heard Bo Bo bellow loudly which was followed by much softer sounds. Slowly I crept again then heard the voice again.

Adam’s voice

“Love you Bo Bo” Very quietly then low.

Adam continued, “Paw I love paw Bo ”Bo

The bull bellowed softly as if in response.

“No crying Bo Bo” “Paw is gone to heaven” Gone to heaven”

Thank you Bo Bo. I love you Bo Bo.

Then another low bellow.

I was so struck by the sounds I could not move forward to take the photographs. Adam was NOW comforting Bo Bo.

I had to hear this. I waited and the next sound I could hear was laughter.

What was this? Adam was actually laughing.

Though Adam had never come across as an overly melancholy child he was certainly not considered joyful and prone to much laughter.

Most of Adams' life had been spent alongside his father. The two of them working or just simply being together. They had a relationship that did not need language A few times I had seen Adam laugh. Once when he and his father were flying a kite when he was about 8. The kite has crashed which had caused him to curse a blue streak. This had sent Adam into a fit of laughter. I had missed it but the way Jeb had described gave me hope

The two of them had been so close and now that Jeb was gone I was fearful he would never feel any joy again.

But now this laughter! It brought a bright flush to my heart that spread up to my face and I smiled.

I smiled

When was the last time I smiled?

I could not remember when that was but it had been months. Not since Jeb had fallen ill. Not since the day of the phone call from the oncologist in Tulsa. Jeb was sick. There was a small change for recovery and boy did he fight. But Jeb was gone within weeks. We spent our last few weeks together in silence. We physically clung to each other but we did not speak. After over 30 years together we did not need to speak. We understood each other and it was written across his face.

He was so sorry

I prayed for his peaceful passing since the waiting had become agony for me. But then the moment he was gone I wanted him back and cursed myself for my thoughts.

The day Jeb died Adam stayed out in the yard until well past midnight. He went to the same spot he was at right now. He had actually fallen asleep right where he was now with Bo Bo standing guard.

I had to go out and carry him in.

Adam knew what had happened without me saying a word. After the coroner had taken Jeb , Adam stayed out there with Bo Bo. Now Adam was there all day, every day. He did come in to eat and sleep but he seemed to be getting some comfort from Bo Bo.

Who knew a bull could become a pet, show compassion and provide comfort?

This unusual creature and this unique friendship.

The tinny laughter continued and Bo Bo shuffled some. I was in a state of awe. Right at that moment a light and shadow creeped across the yard to where they both sat and the tree lit up with a hundred brilliant shades of green.

It was ethereal. I felt peace and the knot in my stomach loosened.

It was like an emotional shot of morphine and I wanted to hold this moment longer and to literally grab it and put it in my pocket for me to take out and sit with when I needed it.

. I let this feeling envelope me and I closed my eyes.

Nothing else mattered at that moment.

Adam was going to be alright

I was going to be alright.

All thanks to Bo Bo the bull.

I was not aware of how long I stayed there but the sun began to set so I snapped back to my camera. I took the picture and prayed it would come close to what I myself was seeing. If it did it would be a masterpiece.

I crept back from my hiding spot and when I got to the back porch I hit my knees. I had not truly cried since Jeb had died.

I had always held my emotions back but now a river or emotions ran through me, the main one being gratitude.

For now I knew we would be ok.

This meant that Adam would be ok.

I rose to my feet and wiped my face and thought for the first time in a long time.

“ Thank you God for this blessing.