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Always Be Polite to Wait Staff

13th May, Story #135/366

By L.C. SchäferPublished 9 days ago 3 min read

He stalks amongst the elegantly dressed tables like a starched jaguar, his eyes like knives and his footsteps muffled by the luxuriously thick carpet. Not a hair out of place, his bowtie just so. Do you know how difficult (impossible) it is to tie a bowtie perfectly?

He murmurs softly to his charges, deferential and yet authoritative at the same time. He is there to serve, quite literally, yet he also knows how each dish is intended to be served and eaten. No mystery to him which fork should be used first, or what wine pairs best with each miniscule course.

It aggravates him when people show up in casual or crumpled clothes. He appreciates a certain level of decorum.

Yet, worse still, the ones who waddle in wearing clothes that cost more than six months' rent. The ones with a stick so far up their bottoms you can almost see the point of it when they clack their jaws asking for the most expensive item on the drinks menu in the haughtiest voice imaginable.

Now, he leans in to one such couple, presenting the bottle they asked for. They respond with a curt nod, and then comes the test

"Will you taste the wine?"

The man holds out his glass. There is something imperious, almost angry in the gesture. He despises the presence of the underling, conveniently ignoring or forgetting that he would be angrier still if there was no one to serve him.

The waiter's eyes glint like knives. He unscrews the top. If the couple hadn't been so clueless, they might have detected a pointed air.

He pours it and waits, on tenterhooks, for what the man will do next. The next test.

The man raises the glass, swirling it, and takes a long sniff. There's something contrived about it, as if this is not for himself but for those around him. A performance.

Oh yes. This is the one.

He treats them, carefully, just as he does any of the other patrons.

Except when he offers them more seasoning, he uses his own, quite special, pepper mill.

It will take days but the end is certain. One less weak-chinned pretentious ass.

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Word count: (excluding author's note): 366

Submitted on: 13th May at 22:55

*Quick Author's Note*

First, and most importantly: thank you so much for reading my story! The ha'penny that Vocal will pay me for your eyes will be well spent. I've been thinking of buying another golden yacht for my cat, maybe getting another albino peacock for the grounds.

If you enjoyed this one, the best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another!

A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one continues my 135 day streak since 1st January!

Please do consider lending your support to the other creators who are also on this madcap "a story every day" adventure. They are putting out excellent content every day!

Rachel Deeming

Gerard DiLeo

The story behind the story: oh come on, we all know people like this! Like the diners I mean, not the waiter.

Leave a comment: Please do leave me a comment. It makes it easier to reciprocate the read.

Thank you

Thank you again, most especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Please know that I see you and appreciate you 😁

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Short StoryMicrofiction

About the Creator

L.C. Schäfer

Book-baby is available on Kindle Unlimited

Flexing the writing muscle

Never so naked as I am on a page. Subscribe for nudes.

Here be micros

Twitter, Insta Facey

Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz

"I've read books. Well. Chewed books."

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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Comments (8)

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  • Cathy holmes5 days ago

    I like him because I'd never be a victim. Here's another half penny for the car yacht. 😁

  • I mean.... is it too much to just treat people nice because they are human? Do we have to threaten others to get that result? Haha, sadly, this may be a more powerful way to get people to treat others nicely. Well written LC!

  • Hannah Moore9 days ago

    A poison that takes a week to kick in - people would have fun with that!

  • Hahahahahahahahaa omgggg I freaking loved this! Also, he's so hot in your cover pic! That jawline 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

  • Caroline Craven9 days ago

    It’s a pity he’s not on duty in the mornings, then he could be a cereal killer! Loved this one. Not sure why anyone is rude to waitstaff?! Out of order.

  • John Cox9 days ago

    Loved this! The serial killer on the wait staff.

  • Sarah Wilcox9 days ago

    I love this! I hadn’t heard of this idea but I was just working on becoming more consistent and I really like the idea of just starting this now for a year too! This little story is hauntingly hilarious btw! I was a waitress at one point and know THAT kind of customer so the title caught me, thankfully I learned there really are more polite people than a holes!

  • Matthew Fromm9 days ago

    This is my favorite one yet, well done.

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