All About My Bruises (PT12/13)

CHAPTER TWELVE

Two months later

God, if you decide to join Sam in his quest for justice, the least you can do is to do it yourself. Why must I suffer thus in the hand of a human that eats yam and cocoyam as I do? My fellow human, that you created in your image?

I cried again for the life inside me. I was determined not to lose this baby. I promised Muna (that was the name I gave my lost baby) that I would do anything in my power to keep him or her.

I noticed that I was pregnant again and I was determined to be out of here by the rise of the next moon. That was why I was hiding the highest heeled shoe I have at my back as I heard the sound of Sam's car park in the garage. It was midnight. I lay on the bed and pretended to be sleeping while all the nerves in my body were at attention.

I was wearing trousers today. If I did not succeed, I did not want to make it easy for him. I have long come to the conclusion that Sam was psychologically affected by all the raping he was doing to me. He seemed to be addicted to it, needing it every night and it seemed to give him joy. He was most thrilled when I tried to fight him. It seemed to make him happier.

I was not even afraid of what I planned to do. I was so calm that I feared that I was mad too because I expected myself to be scared out of my wits but I was not. Maybe it was because I was beyond scared. It couldn't get worst than it already was.

As I expected, Sam entered the room. He smacked me in the head hard enough to slightly rattle my brian. He then turned me over. He was drunk. I reacted faster than I thought myself capable of. I used the head of the wedged hill and struck him two times in a row. His eyes looked glazed like he had not expected it. He looked like a cartoon character who just realized that there was no earth under him. I loved that look. That is not even a taste of the things you made me feel, you scumbag. He fell down hard on the floor like the sack of potato that he was. I stood up, still finding it hard to believe my luck.

I stood up and looked at the low life, cheating, stupid, diplomatic idiot that I married. I could not just leave him there. That would be too merciful. I wanted to make sure that he never raised his hand on anyone ever for the rest of his life. I rushed to the kitchen and came back with the kitchen knife. All I had in mind was murder. I wanted to kill him, to just plunge the knife in his back and end his life. I raised the knife high above my head with all the hate in my heart ready to send it home through his back. I stopped myself just as I was about to bring the knife down. I knew that I could not kill him. It was not that I did not want to, I wanted to play safe. I didn't kill him because he was not worth going to jail for. I did not want to exchange his prison for another one.

I still could not suppress my rage. I stomped his back with my foot the way he has been doing to me for the better part of the last five months. I pounded on him with my legs and with all my frustration until I heard something crack. I was very sure it was his spinal cord but it did not stop me from transferring my aggression to his ribs and shin and every other part of his body. I kicked him until my feet were numb; he still did not move. I wanted him to be awake and feel half of what he made me feel. I punched him, kicked him but he did not wake.

I looked down at him again. All the things he did to me came flooding back, the countless beating and raping, the starving, the tears and my baby. Oh my baby! I fell down on my knees and started beating him with my hands and fist. I scratched and punched and pummeled him. I did not even know I was crying until I felt the salty taste of my tears. I knew they were not tears of joy or sorrow. They were tears of freedom and relief. They were tears of survival. I was free and I was alive. I curled up in a ball at a corner in the room and started crying. I cried for my body and for my baby but mostly, I cried for myself. I cried until my throat and mouth felt like I chugged down ashes for breakfast.

I also collected my cell phone from that same night stand. I reached the door and looked back at the room. I could not just leave it that way. I turned, removed the shoes that I was wearing; I threw one at his fine portrait at the end of the room and threw one at his plasma TV. I got my aim as the picture shattered into many tiny pieces and his face could be seen looking as disgusted and ugly as he was inside. I felt little satisfaction from the TV that just cracked. It was not enough. I wanted more, I concluded. I went and used my own hands to push down the dressing mirror. I drew down his curtain from where it was hanging. I also went and trashed his bathroom

Satisfied with my hand work, I went out. When I turned on my phone, I saw that I have one thousand mails, two hundred messages and missed calls that I could not begin to calculate. I knew that most of the messages were from Etisalat and Glo. The first thing I did was call Ogechi and Israel. In thirty minutes, they were there. It was hard to wake them though. I told them everything that has happened to me.

As I was walking to my room to get more things that I needed to start a new life, I saw the big plasma television that has been intimidating me since I came to the house. It was still sitting there looking imposing as if it was only him that the living room was meant for. I took up the equally big remote and hurled it at the insolent television with all my strength and frustration. I heard a satisfying crack. I looked at it and felt better. It was no longer looking imposing but injured. More like a warrior that did sustain a life changing injury. I smiled for the first time in months.

Oge was the first to arrive with her husband. She was heavily pregnant and has worked herself into a nasty temper before she reached Sam's house. She started talking before she even came out of the car. I was completely flabbergasted by the size of her tummy. She was six months pregnant but she looked like she swallowed a whale. I knew she was having twins but I did not know that haveing twin would make someone this big. She looked like a rolling stone, the big type.

"You poor girl! Your only mistake was marrying that maggot. You look like a mess. I would like to hug you but this tummy will not allow that. Oh, poor you. Look at how thin you are. I told you that Sam was evil. He is just bad news. I knew it from the time he started his smooth talk. Did you knock him hard? You are way too soft. I need to do the knocking myself." She got down from the car as I opened her door and made straight for the house so she could do a normal standard knock that I could not do.

"No Oge, just leave him. I knocked him enough but not as much as he knocked me. I want you to help me get these cars to your house. I have nine cars. Israel will soon be here."

"When I came to his house that fool told me you had gone to Dubai for holiday. I should have insisted but these babies are just so stressing. They are two you know."

Oge was wearing a black maternity gown that did not hold her anywhere. She was glowing in her pregnancy. Her colour looked smoother but she did not try to look good. She walked like a madwoman and her hair was like that too, like a madwoman.

"Good evening Henry. How are you and your mental health? I hope she is not driving you crazy?" I asked her husband.

He was wearing black and white striped nightwear. I did not know why Oge had the time to get such a good gown and her husband was wearing his night cloth in my house. Henry was also very handsome. He was almost six feet tall and he had a muscular body. That was common between him and Sam; his eyes were big brawn and large and they were sincere too. I did not know how I could tell that but I knew that he was a good man.

He smiled. "She is driving me crazy and I love every minute of it."

Oge turned and glared at him all of a sudden. She even surprised me with her sudden movement.

"I told you not to lie in the presence of these. I don't want them to enter this world corrupt and I mean it, Henry. Stop lying or I am taking my bags and moving to my mother's until they come. See if I don't do that on the next lie that would come out of your mouth," she informed him. She turned her mighty tummy and started towards the door again.

"I am so sorry honey. I really am," Henry pleaded to her retreating back. "Hope you will let me talk to them tonight?"

"You are not talking to them till tomorrow morning," she said over her shoulder.

I was completely baffled by the drama and I wanted to ask what was going on but I saw Henry pleading with me not to talk. I decided that it must be her pregnancy drama. She was six months pregnant with twins so she could do and feel however she wanted to feel or do.

"Why are you wearing black at night, Oge? That is so unlike you. If not for the light, I wouldn't be able to see you," I told her as I walked with her into the house.

Sam did not tell me that Oge came to see him in his office. The bastard did not.

"I like black now. It also calms the kids."

"Well it doesn't look good on you," I muttered under my breath.

"Say what!" Oge asked. She looked ready to fight me.

"I said, I am happy for you."

We were walking slowly because of Oge. Her back was bent and she held her tummy with one hand and her back with the other. I did not know how she did it. I didn't think I could carry something like that and still be able to walk anywhere but she seemed to be doing it and she was not even complaining.

Israel drove in just as we were about to get into the house. He drove right in because I did not close the gate after Oge and her husband came in. He came down from the car and I started smiling. He was wearing boxers and a singlet. I did not want to comment on that when his face was filled with worry for me. To make a joke would be a wrong move even though I wanted to make one. He came over to where I was standing and gave me a bone-breaking hug. He hugged me so hard that I winced. My whole body was still pained from that beating. I did try to hide the wince from him but he must have detected it for he pushed me back, took my face in his hands and took a closer look on my face.

"Did that man touch you? I will kill him if he did. Where have you been, Adaeze? I have missed you. He said you went to Dubai. God! Adaeze, you look awful." He said all this in one breath. He turned my face from one side to the other as he examined it. I knew what he saw - bruises and healing wounds.

I watched as anger clouded his worried face and he looked ready to do murder. But as he was showing his concern, one thing registered to me. I was, somewhere in my demented mind, scared of Israel. I was scared that he would hit me and I would not be able to stop him. I also registered that I desperately wanted him to leave me alone. I did not want him to touch me. But I held the impulse down. Apparently, Sam did more damage than I imagine. I hope that I would get over it with time. I forced a smile on my lips. The wound on it was healing nicely. I removed myself from his clutches. I mean his hands.

"It's so good to see you, too, rich boy. You don't have to worry so much about me anymore. I am good now. And yes he did beat me but that is over now." I moved away from where he was standing before he would get a hold of me again. I did not want that at all.

Before he could work over his rage to talk, Oge was already talking. "I will never let Henry beat me. If he does that, I will poison him and he will not even know, but he is a wise man. He will never eat my food if he so much as raised a hand on me. You will never beat me Henry will you?" she did not wait for him to answer. "Of course, you won't. You wouldn't dare. I mean, in one month or some weeks if they come early, I will be the mother of your children. I think I should shut up now." She has been walking up and down but when she said what she thought, she went and stood beside Henry.

I smiled. Oge seemed to be out of her depth with the pregnancy. I did not expect Henry to answer what she asked. He seemed like he was ready to do whatever she wanted and right now, what she wanted was to just talk. I have concluded that Oge was not very good with her behaviour when she was pregnant. Israel on the other hand was still working himself into a fine rage. He balled his fingers into fists and faced me. I shrunk back but I did not think he noticed the movement in his rage. I was a little scared but I had security in Henry and Oge. They would not let Israel touch me, would they?

"That son of a fool! I am going to tear him rip him a new one. the miserable curr," he declared.

"Jezz, Israel, that is a terrible, disgusting scene you paint there. But I am sure that he deserves all of it but we don't want you to go to prison for anyone, now do we? Come, let's go inside; I have so many things I want to do," I told him with a smile.

Out of the blue for I did not know where it came from; Israel asked me, "Are you by chance pregnant for him?"

Oge jumped right in before I could answer. I thought she was done for the night but I was wrong. She left her side by Henry and came and stood in from of me. "Did that bastard sleep with you even when he will not let you go out of the house?"

I smiled a little at that. I did not like Sam even a pinch but I would have given anything to have had it the way Oge made it sound.

"He did not sleep with me, Oge. He raped me, quite frequently for the last five months. I have lost a baby and I am with another one."

Oge looked like someone just clubbed her. She started breathing slowly. I looked at her closely and saw that she was trying not to cry. Henry came over and wrapped his hands around her and crooned what I could not hear to her. Oge held his hands as they came in front of her. I heard what she said to him and it brought tears to my eye.

"But it's not fair Henry. She did not do anything wrong. She was just in love. Why is something so beautiful for me so horrible for my friend? She is just an innocent girl, a nice human being. What did she do to deserve this? Henry, I am so sad." Then she started crying in earnest. Henry was still crooning nonsense to her.

Israel was rendered speechless for some time but when he spoke, I knew that he could not understand the whole idea.

"Why would a man beat his own wife? Why would a man beat a woman at all? There is no excuse for it. I don't get it. Why?" he looked genuinely confused and I almost smiled. Almost.

"Sam is presently unconscious. I plan to take all the things he bought me and the things that I like in this house. And I am never coming back."

Israel came over and took my hands into his and looked me in the eyes.

"You do know that I love you? I never told you but you must know it. If you will have me, Adaeze, I swear, I will make all the pains go away. I will make you very happy."

I know Israel meant well but I was not ready to put my life in the hands of another man even if the man that came was recommended by Jesus himself and I told Israel as much.

The whole thing looked alien to me. I just came out of a nightmare and I was not going back in but, even in the haze, I could find the humour in my ability to receive a marriage proposal or something dangerously close to that from Israel while he was in boxers and white singlet. I would have smiled if I was not also heartbroken by the whole event. I did not answer. I instead faced Oge. I knew he said it in a passionate moment and when he thought about it again, he would know that it was not one of his best moves.

"Oge, will you stop crying for a second and come help me out with this? I want to pack my books into the BMW and my clothes in the KIA. Help me out here guys."

I marched right into the house knowing that they would follow.

"Oh Adaeze, you really look like a ghost of Christmas past. It must be you that Charles Dickens was talking about in his novel." She started crying again. "Please forgive me. Since I got pregnant, my emotions have been all over that place," Oge said with a forced smile.

"I am happy for you Oge but we really have to get out of here before I hunt down Sam myself and play God," Israel said to us. I looked at him and glared mockingly.

After gathering the things that I needed which included my certificate, thank God Sam did not burn that, my clothes, the car keys and, on second thought, Sam's car keys, I left to meet Oge, Henry and Israel at the compound where they stood beside the car.

"Ogechi, how do you even propose that we get this to your house without looking suspicious?"

Oge smiled. "I had wanted to show you the new house that Henry got for me. I told him to get me a house that can be within a comfortable driving distance to you and he got me a house right in this GRA. Why do you think I arrived here faster than a genie? I live in the next five streets. My house is the pink one. He painted it my favourite colour."

I smiled. I knew that Henry must not like the colour but I knew that he would do anything for Oge as long as she wanted it. I went and hugged her. "I am so happy for you my dear. I just wish now that I had listened to you. Maybe I will have my own man's pink house."

She laughed. "I have finished packing your clothes. Men, you have a lot of that stuff and I am sure you do not wear half of it."

"I don't. Sam believed in decking me out in the best of it if we are to go out. He bought it all."

"And speaking of Sam, what did you do to the bastard? He looks like he is not planning to stand up from that place this year.

"I made sure he won't hurt anyone else for the rest of his miserable life. What I care about now is how to survive with my child until I can get a job if there is any firm willing to have me."

"They will have you. You are a treasure to any firm. They will have you. If they don't have you, I will have them." We all laughed.

We started carrying things to Oge's house. By the time it was done, I have all I needed from Sam.

I did not want to impose on Oge and her husband so I carried myself to my apartment in Nsukka the next morning. I also did not want to stay because Oge was very hard to live with. Israel wanted me to stay with him but I was still having a phobia about staying in the same house with a man. I knew I would get over it but for now, men were the evil ones.

I called my family later in the day to ask them how they were doing. I did not tell them any of the things that happened. My pride would be the death of me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A month later

I did not hear from Sam for months and I was glad. I was afraid that he would come after me for what I did to him but after a month and I did not hear from him, I concluded that he was not ready to face me or that he was still in the hospital. I did not really care if the rain carried him to the end of the earth. He could go to hell for all I care.

I rose from sleep after my alarm went off at six-thirty as has been my ritual for the past two months I was living there. I brushed my teeth and dressed for my jogging in my blue Chelsea track suit. I had to wear a stuffy suit because it was very cold. The dry season was no longer on the way. It was here already. It was the ending of November and the dry season was showing signs of being very nasty. I fixed my headphone on and left the apartment. I did not bother to dress the bed or do anything. I would have to do that when I got back from my jogging.

The flat I was staying in was very close to the university. As I was leaving the compound, the gateman opened the gate and, as usual, he greeted me and addressed me as small madam. I did not feel small but when one looked at the gateman of the compound that was very over six feet, one tended to feel very small indeed. As usual, I addressed him as the big man of the gate.

His name was actually Yusuf but I did not call him that. He was tall and black and very funny too. I liked him a lot. And one of the main reasons I liked him was that he was very good at his work and that was security and gatekeeping. He did it very well. I knew that because it was common knowledge that if he heard any sound at all, he would wake up.

I jogged for thirty minutes and came back to the flat. I arranged the house but it did not really require much cleaning. I was a very tidy human being if I do say so myself.

I decided to go visit professor Ozoike before running off to Enugu to be with Oge when she went into labour. He lived close to UNN. They had given him a house inside UNN but he had refused to say that he could not stand having the students rushing to his house for anything. I drove up to his house in the Camry that I always went to school with. His house was painted cream white, unlike Sam's house that has a freaky, shouting, red colour. I packed outside his gate and knocked at the door. It was opened by the gateman.

"My friend, how have you been?" I greeted the man. I had forgotten that his smile resembled that of a circuit clown but he was a cheerful person.

"Aaahh madam, I dey good. We no de see you again. Nah where you go hide yourself put? I been dey carry eye look for you but you no come. E good to see you again madam. Oga dey inside. E dey try cook but he no sabi am," he said while displaying his teeth.

Prof. was very close to the gateman even letting his family leave in the boys quarters and always giving him allowance.

"I am good. I travelled. I hope all is well with you?"

"All dey good. I just dey patch. I dey try live well but you no life nah. E hard for Niger now oo. Poor no fit chop good food. I been dey survive."

I smiled inwardly. Give a poor man a chance and he would unload his entire problem on you and make you feel guilty for being rich. I gave the man two thousand naira and went into the house.

I like the house a lot. It was decorated with flower beds that were trimmed by the Prof's sons whenever he wanted it trimmed. He has three sons and a girl. He did not care which country they were in or what they were doing, he would call one to come home and trim the flower and the one he called would have to come, no matter what. The house was painted white and blue. Prof. told me that the wife wanted white and he wanted blue so they joined the two colours. It looked good on the house.

I rang the doorbell. No one answered. It was typical of Professor Jude Ozoike. He did not like to trouble himself if he could help it. He was probably in the kitchen pretending that he did not hear his doorbell ring. Well, he could do that alright. Two could play this game. I placed my finger on the doorbell and pressed. I knew that sound must be irritating to him but that was the idea.

"Aaaaishh! Who is that? Are you planning to ring down the very foundation of my house? Do I owe you anything? Who is that person?" He ranted all these as he approached the door.

I did not talk. I wanted him to open the door and see me before he heard my voice. I was ready to obey my mum's advice that a lady should be seen before heard.

I knew I would have come and seen him immediately I came to Nnsuka but I did not want him to see me with the many facials that Sam gave me. It took me months to completely recover from it. The doctors even said that I still have internal wounds that would still need more time to heal. The physical ones were all healed and I covered the ones that were scarred with make-up. I was very good at it. I was also hoping that the scares would go with time.

I seemed to have forgotten to mention that the man was very grumpy. He was looking very healthy for one that was supposed to be recovering from a heart attack. But I knew that he was very sick. I could see that from the way his lips were thinned out, the vein showing on his forehead. He looked very thin. He was still the same even after his sickness. The man was probably too stubborn to give in to death.

"God! Adaeze Aninze, where have you been? I have been looking for you since forever and forever is a very long time. I called you more than I called all the people in my entire life put together. I sent you enough texts to fill your house. You just vanished from the face of the earth and my dear, technology has made the face of the earth very small." He looked at me with that troubled, wrinkled, old eyes of his that still saw too much. I noticed that he still liked to talk for a very lengthy period of time before giving a person time to answer.

I smiled and decided to bid my time with him, "Nice to meet you too, sir. I have missed you and I did not know that it was possible to really miss you until now. You are looking good for a man who stared death in the face and came out triumphant." We hugged one another.

"What I had was just a minor heart attack that God sent me to remind me that I am still very mortal. Do come inside." He took me by my hand and we went in.

I wanted to tell him that no heart attack was minor but he went on. "And don't tell me you were expecting me to stay in bed for eight months? Have a heart, my dear girl." He placed his hands over his heart in a dramatic gesture. The man was adorable. "Come inside the kitchen and help me make this wheat. My wife went to the market and I am tired of eating rice. If I eat any of that stuff again, I am going to have a heart attack."

He was wearing black plain trousers and white polo.

I followed him to the kitchen. I could not hide my smile. "You have not changed an iota. You are still as bossy as they come. How is your wife by the way?

"She is still as fine and as lovely as when I first met her but I don't tell her that. It is not good to give women that kind of power. God, I still love that woman!"

I envied the love the two people shared. Theirs was the type of marriage I always wished that I could have but Sam has laid that dream to rest with his cruelty. But the way Jude felt about his fifty-year-old wife did a lot to restore my faith in true love. I could still dream, couldn't I?

"I am happy for you. I really am. What you share with Maria is as rare as a unicorn these days. That means that it is impossible to find." And I meant it. True love was out there but it was hard to find. So many things have clouded it and made it invincible.

"Speaking of spouses, how is that spunk you married? Is he still alive? Tell me he is dead."

"Sam is very much alive. He is still in the hospital though, I beat him up."

I brought out the pot for making wheat, put water on it and placed it on the stove to heat. I then leaned on the sink and regarded the man that was looking at me like I have grown two extra heads. He smiled suddenly. That made him look as if he were years younger than his real sixty-five.

"That's my girl. I knew you had it in you. I knew it was just a matter of time before you get the courage to beat that excuse of a man you call husband. Tell me; how did it happen?" His eyes were shining with unadulterated curiosity and pleasure. He went over and sat on a seat in the kitchen and waited for me to start the tale. I told him all that happened. He was the father I could talk to and I knew that he would listen because he cared. Not that my father did not care. He just was very old fashioned. If I told him what happened to me, he would probably tell me two or three stories that illustrated my own true story. I still thought that my father should have been a writer.

By the time I was done with telling him the less horrible but horrible part of what Sam did to me, he was close to tears. He looked so sad and suddenly so old. He stood and I went to him.

"Oh, you poor girl! What you need is a hug. Come here." I came and he hugged me so tight I struggled for air but I did not tell him to stop. I was too close to tears than was wise. I refused to cry for myself again. "I am so sorry, so very sorry." He went on. "Look at you. You look like the ghost of Christmas past. I could kill that man without batting my eyes." And he meant it. I could hear the anger in his old voice."

I moved away from him and started laughing. I could not help it. "What is tickling your fancy young woman?" he went to sit down again.

"Israel told me that same thing. He said that I looked like the ghost of Christmas past."

"Well, don't you know? You are the bone of the flesh that I knew. You look like a worm. You look like a needle. You look like the number eleven and I mean the number, not the alphabet," he said using one finger to still emphasize how thin I was.

I knew I was no longer as thin as I was when I stayed with Sam but I still did not look the way I looked the last time he saw me. I did not want to tell him that anyway.

"Stop breaking my heart, sir. You are so harsh." I pretended to be hurt.

"Well, I do not like sugar-coating the truth. Now that you are free of his tyranny, what do you plan to do? I would suggest that you divorce him faster than American celebrities divorce themselves but I know you have already decided on doing just that."

I went and brought out the wheat from the lower kitchen unit. I took out the one that I would need for him in a bowl and went close to the steaming pot of hot water. I should have poured hot water on Sam, I thought as I poured the wheat into the water and started turning it immediately. As I turned it, I talked to Jude. He liked to be called Jude. "I just left Sam last week and I knew from what I did to him that he is still in a very critical condition. I hear he is still handicapped in the orthopaedic. That is as I expected. I will have Israel draw up the divorce papers and I will have Sam sign it even if I have to shoot him.

"I know my friends, like Oge, would want me to go for blood in the divorce preceding but I will not. I just want to be done with Sam. I have taken all I want from him and he has given all he could give and then some."

I used the soft foam on the ground to put the pot on the kitchen tiled floor. I used the saucer to get the wheat into the ceramic plate while it was still hot. I went to the freezer and took out the frozen food that I knew that Maria stored for her husband.

"Wise, very wise. I knew you had a good brain in the head that is on your shoulder. Speaking of brains, I have a son that has a good share of the stuff too. I have told you about Troy? He is a good kid."

I know what he was trying to do and I wanted none of it. He wanted to set me up with his son. I did not know much of his children, just Naomi, the only girl, and James, the last child and third son.

I put the soup inside the microwave to heat it before I could dish it out for him. "Don't start, sir. I am presently allergic to all males of the earth and mars."

"You are? You make me sound like a harmless girl or woman. I don't see your skin peeling from standing close to me." He scoffed as he picked his fingers. A nasty habit that he refused to stop.

"I meant young men, I am allergic to them."

"I don't blame you my dear. I would hate trousers and anything that has a testicle if I were you."

I looked up at him abashed. Then I doubled over, laughing. The man was simply incredible.

*********************

I went to see Oge. She was in university teaching hospital for her antenatal. I met her and her hubby walking around the hospital, with Oge snapping at anybody that came close to her. Oge told me that the doctors said that her pregnancy was progressing well but the kids were too big and that she needed to exercise. Henry said she would not do any exercise except when she was in the hospital; so here they were, walking around and exercising so that Oge would have a smoother birth. She insisted that I came to see her. I had no choice and I also wanted to see her. I decided to kill two birds with one stone. So I decided to go and see Sam who was in the orthopedic close to the hospital and talk to him about the things I had planned to tell him. Henry told me that he was there; so I decided to get it over with.

The hospital was very big with different wards. It was located not very far from the GRA where Oge and her husband lived. I went to the reception and told them that I wanted to see Sam and they referred me to his room. I knew that Sam would be recovering by now but I still hoped that he would not. I knew I broke his spinal cord so I would not be surprised if he was not up and about.

When I entered his room, I was impressed. It was a VIP room with air conditioner, plasma television and everything that would make him feel at home. Sam, on the other hand, looked older and more haggard than I have ever seen him. He was dressed in the hospital gown and I must say, he looked hideous in the gown. I waited to feel joy at his misery but none came. I just found out that I was done with Sam. Whatever he did or looked like did not bother me anymore. He still looked handsome but he was not fresh. He looked sick. He was lying on the family size bed that was in the room. When I came in, he looked at me and made to stand up. He looked like he would like to kill me for what I did to him. I did not care. He would not harm me.

"You ungrateful wench. I will make you pay. You know I will. Just let me get out of here. I swear to God who made me that you will pay for this, even if it is the last thing I do." Sam winced with each word he said. He tried to move his body but he could not move much. I made sure of that.

It occurred to me that this was around the time I should be scared that he might do something or someone might enter but I was not. I could have come with someone if I wanted to. Prof. Ozoike insisted to come but I refused. Seeing Sam was something I had to do on my own. Visiting him alone in the hospital was a step towards my liberation. It cemented the fact that he could never hurt me or my baby. I knew coming alone was risky. For all I knew, Tracy or the mother or anyone could be there and Sam could ask them to hurt me but it was a chance I was willing to take. Besides, I told myself that if anyone was with him, I would just have to come back. As luck would have it, the nurse told me that his mother was staying with him but she went home to refresh herself because she could not stand the hospital bathroom.

I was not really expecting to see Tracy though she has a high possibility of being there. If I knew Tracy well, she would be somewhere having fun after she would have seen him once or twice. Tracy did not go out of her way to be kind. She was just pampered and selfish. I knew that because when Sam's mother was operated on for fibroid, Tracy visited her on her way to the airport. She was going to a party in Dubai.

I was still surprised that I have not heard from any police or even from his family members but I knew it was just a matter of time before they would start making a pest of themselves.

I was dressed in a short cooperate gown that I bought for myself. None of the gowns Sam bought was decent enough to cross the street in. He looked exactly what he was, ugly. I went into my heart thinking that I would find sympathy for him in my heart but I found nothing. He deserved what he got.

"l promise to make you pay," I returned with emphasis on the I.

"You dare threaten me? You fool! How dare you?" he was shaking with anger trying to sit or move his body in a series of jerky movements.

I was smart to put a smile on my face when the nurse looking after him came in, took his folder, wrote something in it, checked his IV and left. I greeted her as she passed me. I brushed a speck of imaginary dust from my blue short sleeveless gown and patted my weapon cap even though I knew it was in order. I also knew that the small gesture angered Sam because it showed that I was not disturbed by the whole deal like he was.

"Sam, you are losing your grip in life. I am not threatening you. That would be a waste of good breath. I am assuring you. Am I mad?" I laughed at that statement. "I don't like the very sight of you so I shall leave the chit chat and get on to the main reason I came to see your ugly face. I have drawn up the divorce paper for you and I; and you will sign it. believe me, you want to sign this paper." I walked closer to where he was lying so that he would get what I was saying. And I did not want people to hear what I was saying and write their own stories.

"Wait Adaeze. Do you think I will make this easy on you? You think anyone will believe you against me? You do not have any witnesses. No one knows what happened between you and me. For all they know; I could be the victim here. I am, after all, the one in the hospital."

I smiled. I found out on the third year of our marriage that Sam was taking bribes and laundering money when I thought about the kind of money he was spending and compared it to the amount that I saw in the constitution as the salary of a bank manager and they did not add up. Not even close. I knew that he must have taken lot money from the bank. I just mentioned it to him to know what his reaction would be and I liked it. From his reaction, I knew that my deductions were correct. Sam was also a thieving human being.

I also know that what he was saying was right. I did not have any tangible evidence to present against him in court if he decided to take it to court. For the tenth time, I scolded myself for not getting any evidence of his crimes or even going to an organization that helped with home violence. They could have been my witness. It never occurred to me to do any of that. That did not entirely mean that I did not have a case and I could not win. I just wished that he would just sign the divorce papers so we could get on with our lives, him with recovering and learning how to walk and I, with focusing on my child. I did not want to show Sam that I did not really have any evidence of what he did at that time. I wanted him to think that I have something over him.

"Why wouldn't I do that Sam? Give me ten reasons why I should not and I might consider not telling the whole world that you have been stealing more than your share of the salary. Do you have those reasons? I know I might not win if we go to the court but I assure you that, I will do a lot of damage. I might not have witnesses but don't underestimate what I can do with the little evidence have. Believe me, honey; you do not want to find out." I smiled just to annoy him. I liked the idea that I was in power this time around and not him.

He sneered at me. "How can you even prove to them that I have laundered money? You can't do that. It will be my word against your own and you know who they will believe." Still, there was doubt in his black eyes.

"Remember Sam that I told you to stop keeping your signed check anywhere you want? Well, you did again and I helped myself to some of the money in your account." I smiled when I saw anger leap to his eye again. "Do not fear. There is still some for you and besides, you are my husband. What is yours is mine, remember?"

I got tired of standing and went to sit down on the cushion that was in the room.

Sam looked like he was going to convulse and die just from anger. That must be how the devil looked when angel Michael pushed him to earth. It was hard to believe I ever had feelings for him.

"If you touch any of my things I will kill you. I swear to God I will." He slummed back as if the life just went out of him. I knew he was tired from all the exertions.

I shook my head like I was talking to a very petulant child. I knew he hated it but I did not care. I was past caring.

"Sam, Sam, Sam, why are you so lame this morning? I told you that I have already taken what I need from your account. Why are you then threatening to do something if I touch it? I am done with touching it." I let my face show him that I was angry just so the seriousness of the situation will reach home. Then I switched my feature again and smiled at him. "And do not tell me that you are expecting me to be grateful for the way you treated me because my dear, I treat the rat in my house better. It's your call Sam. you can have it hard or soft. Sign the papers and I will be out of your case. If you want to drag it to court please do because that is where I will tear you into many tiny pieces."

I turned and walked out of the room and I did not look back when he called me. I felt a little free after the confrontation. I was already late for my next appointment.