Acrylic Coma

"How's it called?"

"Acrylic Coma."

"Hmm, is it because of the excessive red?"

"Exactly."

"... So, what do you think?"

"Nice graffiti, terrible joke."

"Oh, come on, be honest for once; it made you laugh."

"Have you seen me laugh?"

"Inside, it made you laugh inside."

"Alright, I'll be honest."

"Finally."

"Well, the graffiti isn't that great."

"Oh, little one, did you notice that you've exceeded your annual quota of compliments you're willing to give?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"I'm also thinking of taking back what I said about the cake you baked me for my birthday."

"What? Oh, you'll regret saying that, you can touch my art..."

"Come on, you could've bought a pre-made one..."

"...you can touch my graffiti..."

"...I lent you the money for it, you know, you could've just asked..."

"But don't touch my cake!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Back to the cake, though. You could have got it from one of those kitchen robots... no, no! Keep that paintbrush away from me!"

"I'll use it as a stake to pierce your heartless chest!"

"Oh, may God save me..."

"No, no god will save you from my wrath, not the one on 25th Street, not the one on Veste's wall."

"Well, I was appealing to the one in Fallen Heroes Square."

"Mate, that's not a god..."

"Sure, it is. I know the guy who drew it."

"That's a stoner's artwork."

"He has long hair, a beard, a hallucinatory look..."

"..."

"Alright, fine, it's a stoner. A stoner who might still save me from your paintbrush."

"Oh, you won't have a chance!"

"Okay, who are you taking then?"

"The dolphin on top of Cerchia."

"They erased that one."

"When?!"

"Two days ago."

"What?! Come on, I spent months preparing for that..."

"It was yours? Oh, how did I know, little criminal."

"Don't change the subject. Me and the dolphin against you and the stoner. You're toast."

"No, we're not dead. What, are we supposed to fight in an aquarium?"

"Maybe you forgot about the machete that my dolphin has instead of a fin."

"It had."

"Doesn't matter; it still counts."

"Okay, a paintbrush and a dead fish with a machete—what are you going to do, grab it by the tail and throw it at my god?"

"It's not dead, it's not a fish, and we agreed your thing isn't a god at least half an hour ago."

"Alright, against my stoner, then. What do you mean it's not a fish?"

"It's not a fish."

"It has fins, it's in the sea, is it a kangaroo?"

"Sometimes I'm amazed that you have a diploma."

"Oh, sorry, miss, if I don't know the exact scientific group to which all the extinct animals from the other side of the galaxy belong!"

"I don't even know how to respond to that, honestly."

"A classic."

"What?"

"Me leaving you speechless."

"Ah, ah... don't look at me with that dumbfounded face, and don't get closer..."

"Why? Are you scared?"

"I'm not scared..."

"No, you're not scared..."

"...I have a dolphin..."

"...a beautiful dolphin with a machete..."

"OH YES, UHM, NOTHING, WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING, BOSS."

"Agent, you meant agent."

"No, we didn't do it; we were just about to report this unacceptable act of vandalism to the competent authorities..."

"And here comes you, how fortunate! The competent authority!"

"... ..."

"... ..."

"I can't believe it, dammit. Idiot."

"Probably it's a new record. How long did it last up there, two hours?"

"Fuck."

"Listen..."

"What?"

"About earlier..."

"Dolphin against stoner?"

"No, the other thing, before we got interrupted..."

"I bet a whole set of sprays that we would beat you."

"... ..."

"What, don't you trust your choices anymore?"

"Well, if you have so much money to waste, bet accepted."

"Let's see who'll be laughing in the end..."

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Ehm..."

"What?"

"And now, how do we determine the winner?"