Absent it

There is a strangely charming gentleness about the air. The colorful provincial pea flowers fill the entire garden with a sweet aroma, and the mustard is blooming in the fields. I just want to lie down under the warm blue sky with my head on the soft green grass, so enamored with the atmosphere that no one can ever wake me up in the heartbreaking worldly reality.

Our spring is brief but brimming with enthusiasm. With the desire for birth and birth, the universe as a whole becomes helpless. The green plants and leaves, as well as the tiny, vibrant flowers that enshroud its surface in the Sartapa Sarwar garb, show that the earth does not bloom with happiness. The world would probably have formed during this time of year. Naturally, life must have appeared during this time, and the sounds of birds, squirrels chirping, and partridges hopping around in the flowers create an odd atmosphere.

But how difficult is this spring? The strength and lust of desires also rise in tandem with the expansion of life. Of those longings and aspirations that are slowly biting at the heart and whose sweet, sweet ache pierces the veins and connects the mind and heart. Additionally, in this state, the sensation of isolation, the perception that life lacks love, and more. Anger is present. The thought of its body makes the entire body tremble, and the sensation of this space hurts the heart like someone is pricking it with fine, sharp needles. However, in spring, the deceased also emerge from their graves encased in shrouds. The person's forgotten things are brought back to life by the river of memory. The raising of the eyes, the simple blinking of the eyelids, or sometimes the touching of two hands are all examples of small things that people don't even care about in everyday life.

I'm also recalling things that I had completely forgotten before. Because she has distanced herself from me over time, I used to believe that she has no place in my life. away from my view. However, it now appears that my concept was crude. When he first expressed his love for me, my heart was still in the same state. Just as they did when he first fell in love with me, my lips are also trembling with passion. However, what am I supposed to do with these things now? Who can link the dream after it has been broken? Who can play music on the flute when it is broken? I am unable to stop the force of its waves as my past life has transformed into a storm of wishes and memories. Now that someone is gone, I sense his absence, and I go back and forth between feeling like my life is empty and pointless.

(2) In a single night, the rivers of our lives, which had been flowing separately up until this point, merged. The night was strange. A lot more meaningful and meaningful than a spring night, despite not being a spring night. The late October night, with its growing coolness and the lingering stench of smoke, enchanted everyone. Depression spread like a silent memory as the moon held its head high in admiration of the sky. How little is the difference between spring and autumn? Spring is concealed within autumn, and autumn is concealed within spring. the same aches and pains as springtime's desires and hues. In the autumn, they remain hidden as a sad memory.

But I forgot all my sorrows as we sat on the train and the car roared and rattled like a drunken snake through the dark valleys. It appeared as though a beautiful new life was beginning as autumn gave way to spring. I was always sad and bored before Anand entered my life, even though no one ever asked me. When people asked me why I didn't become Husain, I used to cry to myself. I was on my own and nobody cared about me, whereas my sister had numerous partners. However, Anand accomplished many of my goals. I resolved to never let him go from my hands as the attraction of his attention drew me to him like a magnet draws iron, awakening my sleeping soul.

But I made a mistake that night that I still can't get over, and the impact it has had on me over the past three years may never go away. I wish he hadn't entered my life at all. If I hadn't met him, how happy my life would have been. To be honest, however, he has given me life and awakened all of my hidden abilities. I was only awoken from my sleep by Anand. However, he brought song magic into my life and revived my dead mind. But after igniting the wilderness of my heart with his music, he vanished. However, I sense that the flames are still burning this way, that the song of his life is still ringing in my ears, and that his presence is still present in my thoughts.

And all of this conflict began on that gloomy night while we were traveling together. Perhaps because it all took place in a moving car, I will always be surprised and perplexed, just like that speeding car. We were the only two people in that compartment, and when the car drove away, we both remained silent and lost in our thoughts. I asked her, "Do you know Anand? "Yes," she stated. I used to study with him at the university. He didn't know how close I was to Anand.

I'd read the majority of his works. So I asked him to read my poems aloud. After some hesitation, he told me, "Sing it first," rather than reciting his poems. We both insisted and argued about who should start because I wasn't prepared for this sudden request. Due to exhaustion, we both finally stopped talking. I walked with my mouth open, taking in the moon, the view, and the cool breeze. In English, she approached me from behind and asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "I'm having fun with the moon." However, she stated, "No, not this absurdity tonight." can do, come sit here.” He also dragged me out of the window and sat me next to him on the cot with his hand on my waist.

He relented when I asked him once more to recite the poems, giving me the impression that he had softened. He kept reciting his poems to me for a long time, and I was captivated by the sweetness of his emotions. He then read me a poem during the brief silence that followed; I will always regret not having taken a copy of this poem. That, however, meant "Life is a deal, dear." This will not be easy to accomplish. Give and take this hand if you want to take it. Dear, life is like a desert where thorns grow and winds blow. This is not for young children. Dear, life is like bitter wine. Only those with a bitter taste in their mouth can consume it. This syrup is not for everyone to consume. Dear, life is like a storm that can only be enjoyed by those within the ocean. What information is available to those who are on the edge? And the event is as follows: Those who haven't been hurt can't even hate, and those who haven't loved can't feel relief. Those who have not traversed the difficult valleys of love, poverty, and sorrow. They are unaware of life's realities.

I had been secretly influenced by the magic of his personality and poetic performances. But his love suddenly filled my heart. I had a burning desire to know him and his soul, and all I wanted was for him to stay with me forever. How exquisitely beautiful he will be when he has this purity and beauty in his imagination. I had no other thought than that. However, at that point, the thought that all of these pleasures would end when they parted ways in the morning vanished. caused my depression. I couldn't do anything about my new grief because I was so helpless, so I asked, "Do the deceptive hours of life expire as soon as the life of a flower?"

''Yes. A beautiful and heartwarming idea that comes too soon, somewhere.

"And in the morning, all of our emotions and happiness will vanish?"

Who is aware? However, morning is still far off. What is the advantage of implementing this concept? We are experiencing the waves of life right now. We are savoring its sweetness right now. Everything else is a hoax." "But all this seems to be a dream and when the eyes open in the morning," was my mental response. Thus, nothing will occur.

Like a drug, the heat from his hand began to penetrate my body. He spent a considerable amount of time talking to me about happiness, time, and beauty. I talked to him as if we had always loved each other because I was so enchanted and influenced by his emotions. He began praising my hair and eyes. I lost myself in the joy. He leaned toward me and squeezed my hand a little more tightly. Perhaps he needed to adore me. I trembled at the thought that he was playing with me when the thought suddenly came to mind. I gave him a quick handshake and quickly suggested, "Perhaps you have misunderstood something."

He inquired, "How?" "But I think you must have been deceived," I stated.

If not, what lies behind it? Your meaning escaped my comprehension.

''no. I did not discover any new meaning. Why did you suddenly start saying such things? "It's now too late," I said. Lay down.

"Then why should I lie down?"No, I think it's best to lay down now," she replied."Well, if it pleases you, I will lie down," he said. He set down on a sleeping pad and I put my mouth through of the window and started to consider everything that had occurred in those couple of hours. But all I could think about was that he was just trying to play with my feelings and thoughts. In this scenario, the arrival of the Kanpur station wouldn't have taken more than fifteen minutes. Because it was a few hours away, we had to switch to another vehicle. The waiting area was where we kept our belongings. I was instructed to go to sleep after he opened the bed. I finally stood up and began my moonlit walk outside. I didn't take China because I thought he was playing with me.

He didn't let go of it, and after a while, he got out and started walking with me as well. after giving it some thought. "I have nothing," I declared. "Misunderstanding of what?" he inquired. "Not at all," he replied. I was reciting what you said. I was asked to read your poems first by you. You were the first to realize that all of this happiness and pleasure was coming to an end. I was talking normally, but my thoughts were elsewhere all the time.

"However, you were constantly utilizing the word "we"." There can be no miscommunication. Second, you should not have said anything when I took your hand, and if you were also kissing me, is there anything wrong?

"What!" My pain made me scream.

I was very hurt when I heard the name Ishq Bazi. I had previously believed that he might care about me. But when I heard this word, I was shocked and stumbled. We, women, are never willing to have our most sincere feelings repeated by a man in this way. This is how we want men to always treat us well and quietly carry out our wishes and desires. In any case, when our ex succumbs to somebody who deals with us like an irrelevant item, all our outrage transforms into a longing to rule him so he doesn't disparage us once more. understand, and we put in all of our magic and effort to accomplish this. Although I was shocked by his speech at the time, my desire to control him eventually took over, and we reconciled.

(3) At four in the morning, we emerged from the waiting room just as it was getting close to time to drive. Since I had been up all night thinking and wearing new slippers, my mind was spinning. My foot slipped on a slick step as we were coming down the stairs, and I fell. He became extremely concerned and began politely asking me, "Didn't you get hurt?" I stumbled as the pain got worse. He led me to a second platform after placing his hand on my waist. He laid me down as we sat in the car. His expression was one of regret and sorrow. "I am very sorry that you have suffered so much because of me," he said. However, you now go to sleep.

"No, no, don't blather."

He repeated to me, "Now rest for a while," and I replied, "Wake me up and lie down with my eyes closed when the Ganga Bridge comes." I was slightly awoken as the car crossed the river bridge. Light-colored and syrupy clouds covered the sky as there was some daylight. With its tranquil chest open, the river was slowly absorbing the atmosphere's rising light. The euphoria of the night was taking away the life from the wide-eyed gaze.

I closed my eyes and prayed at that point because I suddenly felt so weak. I had never even considered that I was completely forgetting Anand up until that point. Even though our conversation started with Anand, it erased him from my mind as if he were an illusion because I was so absorbed in it that there was no room in my life for him. But when he sat by my side and put one of his hands on my waist, I had a sudden realization that everything was a lie. He will probably never think of me again, and I will become lost in myself after some time. What am I going to do now? I closed my eyes and prayed for strength and love from Anand when the image of him suddenly appeared in my vision.

Perhaps it was granted because of my sincere prayer. However, I no longer enjoy accepting it. Without him, my life would be meaningless, meaningless, and boring. I turned to look at him after praying. He was observing me. I felt something in my body because of the strange look in his eyes. I was also excited by the warmth of his feelings as he kept looking at me in that manner for some time. His heart was also raging with love at the time. He also seemed to be experiencing a storm of emotions. I will never forget the softness and euphoria in his eyes, and we both had the same thought. We shared the same drive. Then we looked out the window together. The sun suddenly emerged from behind the clouds with a golden mouth. Its dancing rays fell upon us, and the entire sky and earth began to laugh loudly with hope and love for life.

However, the night was over. Not at all. She is hidden within me and has become my life's secret. His remarks still delight me. She will always be there for me, like my shadow, no matter where I go or what I'm doing. We are together for life. Neither she nor I can forget that night. Spring and autumn are a part of human life. Spring succeeds autumn, and even though time has passed, spring is not devoid of autumn. "I came in the spring of your life in autumn, and now it is autumn again, and I am leaving the spring of your life," he wrote in his final letter to me. However, in the same way, that love and hate have always fought, good and evil will always fight.

Even though Autumn's worm has taken over my life, it is still full of vigor and festivity in the spring. The same reassuringly blue sky and the same scent of the vibrant provincial pea flowers.