A Thin Line Between Despair and Selfishness

***Warning This story is post-apocalyptic in nature, and briefly mentions r*pe and s*icide***

A Thin Line Between Despair and Selfishness

By D.A. Rowley

There is this line,

Just as thin as the air,

With hesitated steps,

We cross over it and then cross back,

Indecision equals destruction,

Despair breeds Selfishness….

He inhaled, he could feel the purple smoke filling his lungs. It tasted sweet and salty all at the same time. He let it fill his lungs, but instead of exhaling he held his breath. He could feel the smoke exciting his nerve endings, waking them up. His digital image activated. The nerve endings showed up light blue all over the image of his body. The light blue circles started to pulse, getting smaller and larger, smaller, and larger, smaller, and larger until finally they enlarged and enlarged and then burst like a balloon filling with water. He decided to focus on one of those never-ending spots as it burst. It started at a spot in his chest and turned into a string of light traveling down his extremities. He watched it with curiosity almost as if it was a bolt of lightning traveling from his chest, through his abdomen, and down his legs. It sizzled out just above his knee cap. He exhaled and pressed his lips to the energy cigarette again. The digi-image shut off. He pressed his lips to the e-cig and brushed his lips off against the metal of his fingertips. They were cold, it was cold outside. Cyrus looked up at the red sky. He hated the sky. There was no sun anymore. It burned out 300 years ago and left the sky red in it’s passing. He remembered that day like it happened just this morning. His mother wailed, and his father tried to hug her while his blue eyes stared off into space. He could see the hopelessness in his father’s eyes. At the time they didn’t know what to do, reporters and scientist alike talked about the end of mankind. They gave the earth a year to survive with no sun. People started emptying the grocery stores a long time ago. There was no school, no work. Only do what you could to survive. Humans chopped down all the trees for firewood. They built underground bunkers and tunnels as deep into the earth’s ground as they could. They slaughtered all the livestock and anything with fur that could live and breathe. The planet was decimated and ravaged. After that, the death’s came. People who could not take the pressure of surviving on a dying planet killed themselves. Sometimes they killed their whole families. Cyrus could remember the stench of so many bodies rotting in their homes and out on the streets. It was a terrible time for a young boy to witness, and his parents did the best they could to keep him happy. They still celebrated his birthday and invited his friends, they played video games and card games. His mother still read to him at night before bed. He inhaled, and the second he did the image of the red sky disappeared and the digi-eye flipped on. Cyrus could feel his body slumping. The intoxication of the smoke filled his lungs and consumed his body. It took over, weakening every muscle that held him upright. He could feel his head lean back against the wall. It felt good to him, it was relaxing and left him at peace. A peace he could not find since the passing of his parent’s. His heart hurt. The only thing that kept him alive now was the digi-image monitoring his vital functions. Anytime something went awry a doctor came knocking on his door. Gave him an injection and never returned until something else went wrong. The injections now kept humans from dying. They completely stopped cellular death. Cyrus did not care. He wanted to welcome death, but because of the socialist environment he now lived in. His right to choose had been taken away. The metal in his hand banged against the ground, and his eyes closed. The digi-image did not switch on this time. Peace at last.

Cyrus woke up to music. The sound of classical music filled the room. Realizing that he was not outside anymore he abruptly sat up. To his right, he heard a beep and the bed railing shifted down.

“Welcome, Mr. Borgenia”, a voice said above him, “I am Nia your personal assistant, the time is currently 12:30pm would you like some lunch?” Cyrus looked around the room and shook his head, trying to relieve his grogginess. The moment he did that, a monitor switched on and a series of red lines started going across the screen. They traced in a straight line and then suddenly spiked. Cyrus quickly realized that it was tracking his vital signs. “Mr. Borgenia, Nia said, would you like your lunch now?”. Cyrus snapped out his haze, “Where am I?”. Seconds after he formulated that question a figure appeared at the door. “Mr. Borgenia!”, a short bald man with a lab coat yipped. His voice high pitched and sharp. “Welcome to Stryker Labs, we are pleased to have you here, Nia will bring you some lunch. Please get dressed have lunch and hit the red button on the wall next to the door when you are finished. From there, we will explain where you are. Chop chop now, time is of the essence we have a full day ahead of us”. Before Cyrus could formulate a response, the short man had taken a step back and the glass door beside him slammed closed. He heard the quick of a lock, and with that sound the monitor next to him beeped. He looked at it and flashing words appeared. BLOOD PRESSURE RISING, the monitor said. Cyrus did feel uneasy. He looked around the room. Right in front of his bed there was a large flat screen tv, and to the left of that was a closet full of clothes. Off in the far right corner of his room was a bathroom. There was no door. His room had no windows, but a small rectangular vent at the base of the wall blew cool air. The walls were white. There were no pictures except one right above the door. It was a picture of a huge white house with a wooden fence. The fence was painted red, and the house looked old. Above the house read the words, “We all have choices.” Before he could pay any more attention to that picture, Cyrus swung his feet over the site of the bed. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Cyrus reached for the faucet, “Wait a minute”, he thought. He screamed, he shook his hand raised it to his face, and screamed in horror. His hand was no longer metal. Everything from the fingertips to his wrists was skin. He slammed his hand onto the sink. Pain overcame him. It had been 250 years since he felt pain in his hand. He screamed even louder. He felt his chest tighten and saw his vision go blurry. The monitor in the room went from a beep to a continuous sound and Nia’s voice filled the room overhead. “Mr. Borgenia”, Nia said, I am on my way. Cyrus heard a door open, a woman entered the doorway. Cyrus suddenly felt heavy and he leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and began to sink. Nia grabbed him. She placed her arms around Cyrus and gently led him to the floor. It was cold, but Nia felt warm. “Cyrus?”, she said softly. “Please, drink this”. She raised something to his lips. It was warm and tasted bitter, but he could feel it going down his throat. He expected the digi-image to turn on but nothing. He stopped swallowing at that thought and went to sit upright. He felt Nia’s hand press him back against the walk, “sit”, she said firmly. “Drink”, she said forcibly. Cyrus turned his head. “Where is my damn digi-image, and why the hell are you holding me down?!”. Cyrus had a deep rough voice. His vocal cords had been removed a few years ago once they started to fail. Generally, in humans’ pieces were only replaced as necessary. He had smoked himself into oblivion and needed his vocal cords, esophagus and lungs replaced. The stress of losing his parents had pushed him into a state of depression and the cigarettes helped. “Drink the tea or your going to die Cyrus, you don’t have time for questions”. He proceeded to turn his head back to the cup. He finished the tea. Nia had him sit for another 2-3 minutes. The monitor stopped beeping. Once that happened Nia removed her hand from his chest and allowed him to stand up. Nia stepped back, turned around and walked out. “Get dressed Mr. Borgenia, she said as the door behind her closed”.

Cyrus followed Nia down a hallway full of glass. The floor was glass, the ceiling was glass. Not to mention the windows. It was stunning to say the least. No walls anywhere, to get to the hallway Nia had pulled a badge and swiped. She placed her fingerprint over the badge scanner. A small light turned from red to green followed by a beep. The door lifted upwards. As they walked down the hallway Cyrus took note that there were beds in tiny rooms hooked up to monitors. It was not just the windowpanes that had separate rooms behind them. It was also rooms with beds below the floors. Rooms with beds in the ceilings. Each separated by another pane. “The Glass is reinforced bullet proof, no one is getting in, and no one is getting out”, he heard Nia say. She had a sultry voice, but behind her words he could tell she meant business. Some of the beds were full of people. They looked…human. None of them were awake, and it was the same situation no matter where he looked. A person laid on a bed hooked up to a machine. The machine beeping slowly with a series of blue lines ago across a black monitor followed by numbers. “Where are we going Nia?”, Cyrus said. He felt different, slower perhaps. Nia did not reply, instead she walked faster. They came to another door and Nia used the same series of movements to open the door. Cyrus looked back at the other door and wondered if he would ever see it again. Behind this door were more doors. They were not glass but heavy cement. Nia walked up to a door and pulled on a latch, her eyes changed color and the door opened with ease. “Walk through”, she commanded. He glanced at his hand and touched his head. He wondered how he ended up like this, but if the answer was in that room behind this cement door he was going to find out.

“Mr. Borgenia!”, the short baldheaded man said, “Greetings, greetings, have a seat. We are pleased to entertain you and you are a guest here. I am Professor Luis Stryker, and this is my facility. You must be full of questions, but first let me show you around. Follow me”, he said. The Professor opened a door behind him and walked through. Cyrus followed but he noticed that Nia stayed. He looked back at her, and he noticed that she too appeared human. Except for the change in her eyes earlier she had no machine-like features. No metal anywhere. As he followed behind the Professor he took note of his stature. He walked stiffly with small steps, but they were quick and with purpose. They walked to a group of monitors, about 15 or so by Cyrus’s estimate, and each monitor peered into a room. “These people were once fully machine, but I have restored them to their human states, but there lies a problem. They have fallen into a coma, and I cannot figure out why. Every now and then, he paused, they awaken. When they do however it appears, they are still sleeping. Their eyes are open, but they do not talk, they refuse to eat, they cannot even use the bathroom on their own. You however, your different. As soon as they rolled you in here I knew you were different. Special”, the professor paused. Cyrus felt the anger begin to boil and rise inside him like a volcano with boiling lava slowly rising to the surface. “What did you do to me?”, he asked calmly. “Cyrus”, the Professor said in a low tone while simultaneously holding up his hand. “I changed you, I saw you were struggling. In a depressed state and ready to die. I saved your life. I made you feel again, so you could have the will to live. I made you human again.” Cyrus grabbed him by the collar, but before he could wrap his hands around he scrawny neck Nia grabbed his hair and forced him down into a chair. He did not remember her entering the room and even though he was fighting back he could not budge her hand from the back of her head. “YOU DID WHAT?!”, he yelled. “I made you human again like I said”, the Professor clicked on a black monitor. Nia let go of him and took a step back. “Stay seated”, she said. Cyrus looked at the screen. There was a city on fire, he could see people off in the distance chanting and laughing. The monitor switched to a different scene. In this one ,three men were standing around a woman. Two were holding her down and another was unfastening his pants. The camera zoomed in on the man’s eyes. A distant gaze complimented by a smirk on his face. The other men stared distantly off into space while the woman screamed in terror. The scene switched again. This time a woman was holding a baby. She was standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean. No emotion on her face. She stepped off. Cyrus looked away. “There is a genetically modified computer virus traveling across this planet. It is infecting people and changing their genetic makeup. The only solution I have been able to come up with is to take the modified part of each human being and replace it with human parts.” The virus cannot activate at that point because there is no computer code to initially attach to. From there it would modify itself to look like human genetic code and travel through the blood stream to the brain. It would take over it’s host and render them uncapable of having feelings. The symptoms of this are for the host to do unspeakable things. Crimes we have not seen since the sun went out and we modified ourselves to survive the climate. I don’t know how this virus came to be, but I must stop it. If I don’t we will cease to exist….perhaps forever.” The Professor turned away from Cyrus. He walked to a door in the far right corner. Opened it and instructed Cyrus to follow him. They entered another room. This one had a chamber sitting in the center of the room. The chamber had a bed in the center with a machine hanging over it with arms extending over the bed. At the foot of the bed was his modified hand. He walked towards it and picked it up. The metal was cold just how he remembered. His head began to tingle, but nothing happened to the hand. No digi-imaged flickered on. Nothing happened. “I can hook you back up”, the Professor said, “but if I do you will risk exposure to this virus. You are definitely a curious case, but I have blood samples from you and that is all I need. Or you can stay with us and help us save humanity again”. He motioned towards Nia. We can provide food, shelter, and protection. You will be safe. “But I will be an experiment.”, Cyrus interjected. “That’s not my problem….this virus”, Cyrus said. “You changed me without my consent”, I do not want any parts of it. I want my modified hand sleeve back and my Digi-image, and while you’re at it give me my e-cig”. Nia, walked over to the head of the bed. With outstretched arms she solemnly motioned towards the bed. Cyrus walked towards the bed and took and laid down. Nia pulled out a needle. It pierced his skin and as soon as she pressed on the plunger. The room slowly went black, and as it did he heard a voice, “Professor we have another that has awaken and is functioning normally”. “Great” the Professor said, “Let us go and welcome our new guest”.

Cyrus awoke, with his head pressed to the cement. He had a headache. His digi-image clicked on ran a system check and then clicked off, he looked down at his hand. He stood up. A woman stumbled past him. She coughed. Cyrus turned and walked home. He reached for door, and as soon as he extended his arm he felt warm. Followed by a cold sensation. He walked into his apartment. It was dirty, trash everywhere. There was no furniture. He did not bother to get any. He walked over to the stove. He was so cold. Which was odd being the planet now stayed permanently warm due to the residual effects of the sun exploding. He turned the stove on and held his hand over the flame. He stared off into space, he felt nothing. He watched the fire turn his non-modified hand black. It then caught on fire and traveled up his shirt. In amazement he still felt nothing. His clothes caught fire. Still nothing. He felt his body fall to the floor. He saw the flames rise and the smoke reach to the ceiling. He heard a woman scream behind him. He glanced over and smiled.