For an arachnophobe like me, there are few things more disturbing than a spider in your bath. Since I moved in, I've not seen a single spider. I thought the conkers and peppermint oil were working to keep them out.
I got up in the night to pee and there he was. Huge and hairy, all those eyes staring. As if I were rude for bursting in on his "me time".
I think it was his size that bugged me (ha, not sorry). Even someone un-phobic would've freaked out.
Somehow the glass of wine (where did he get that? How?) and the rubber duck didn't help. And the book! Seriously? How was he turning the pages? How could he even hold the weight of it with those spindly legs?
"Errrr... Do you mind?"
I nearly fell down in shock. His voice was raspy and clicky, but otherwise quite pleasant. A baritone, if I'm any judge.
Speaking of judging, I felt like some of those eyebrows were raised at me. I wondered if he'd raise one, like we do, or seven. Or four. I started laughing, probably hysterically.
The long hairy leg dangling over the edge of the tub and dripping bubbles on the mat recoiled. Was that a scowl under the shower cap?
"I don't laugh at you when you're in the bath," he said, his tone suggesting there was plenty to laugh at.
I'm dreaming, of course. I'll wake up in a minute.
"Errmm... Should I give you some privacy?"
He sighed. "I'd appreciate it. But technically it's your bath, so if we need to talk, now is as good a time as any."
I'd so many questions. How'd you get so big? Doesn't your exoskeleton crush your organs? Where do you actually live, why have I never seen you before?
We chatted. He's a decent guy. My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit.
Once a week, on Tuesday nights, or rather, Wednesday mornings, in the small hours, he helps himself to my hot water and bubbles. He eats all the other bugs in the house, including spiders. I kept my face very still when he said that.
Anyway, I bought a new shower cap.
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Word count: (excluding author's note): 366
Submitted on: 6th May at 23:37
*Quick Author's Note*
First, and most importantly: thank you so much for reading my story!
A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes an 127 day streak since the 1st January.
Please do consider lending your support to the other creators who are also on this madcap "a story every day" adventure. They are putting out excellent content every day!
The story behind the story: Please enjoy this cartoon from my childhood which inspired this silly little story! Does anyone else remember this? To this day, I hum this song if ever there is a spider in the bath. My daughter used to think there was a beach down the plughole, and that's where the spiders came from, because they'd been on their holidays.
Leave me a comment! Please do leave me a comment. It makes it easier for me to reciprocate the read. Please leave me a link if you've written a spidery story you would like me to read.
Thank you
Thank you again! Most especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I see you, and appreciate you 😁
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Comments (17)
Cool
Bahahaha. This is great.
I was prepared for horror, not humor! What a delightful micro! Loved “My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit.” What a cool source of inspiration and tidbit about your daughter’s imagination!
Hahah!!! "Anyway I bought a new shower cap".... I can't!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 This was soooooo funny, I totally thought this would creep me out but just like you my heebies stopped jeebying lol Great work LC!!
Haha that was a great tale! Loved it! I feel like he’d raise four eyebrows. That’s my guess. But this was a fun and unique creation of the situation, really funny!
"We chatted. He's a decent guy. My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit." OMG. That line is priceless!
Great work! Also, I have never seen this video before, but it is extremely catchy!
I loved this, especially the heebies that stopped jeebying, lol. Showed the story to my arachnophobic daughter and she liked it too so that's saying something!
Glad they learned to rub along together.
That was mad. So funny and quirky, L.C.. And great last line!
Hahahahahahahhahahaha that was so freaking hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I only have two eyebrows to raise at this story, but that's 100% so it's good. Funny story, L.C.
I liked this bro.
I absolutely love this. I’m calling top story.
Loved this, LC. Very Murkami like except that it was funny at the end.
I love this! I laughed! Thank you for writing about a giant talking showering spider! ❤️☮️
Very funny. Fun story. He'll be asking for a Jacuzzi, next.