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A Spider in the Bath

6th May, Story #127/366

By L.C. SchäferPublished 16 days ago 3 min read
18
A Spider in the Bath
Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

For an arachnophobe like me, there are few things more disturbing than a spider in your bath. Since I moved in, I've not seen a single spider. I thought the conkers and peppermint oil were working to keep them out.

I got up in the night to pee and there he was. Huge and hairy, all those eyes staring. As if I were rude for bursting in on his "me time".

I think it was his size that bugged me (ha, not sorry). Even someone un-phobic would've freaked out.

Somehow the glass of wine (where did he get that? How?) and the rubber duck didn't help. And the book! Seriously? How was he turning the pages? How could he even hold the weight of it with those spindly legs?

"Errrr... Do you mind?"

I nearly fell down in shock. His voice was raspy and clicky, but otherwise quite pleasant. A baritone, if I'm any judge.

Speaking of judging, I felt like some of those eyebrows were raised at me. I wondered if he'd raise one, like we do, or seven. Or four. I started laughing, probably hysterically.

The long hairy leg dangling over the edge of the tub and dripping bubbles on the mat recoiled. Was that a scowl under the shower cap?

"I don't laugh at you when you're in the bath," he said, his tone suggesting there was plenty to laugh at.

I'm dreaming, of course. I'll wake up in a minute.

"Errmm... Should I give you some privacy?"

He sighed. "I'd appreciate it. But technically it's your bath, so if we need to talk, now is as good a time as any."

I'd so many questions. How'd you get so big? Doesn't your exoskeleton crush your organs? Where do you actually live, why have I never seen you before?

We chatted. He's a decent guy. My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit.

Once a week, on Tuesday nights, or rather, Wednesday mornings, in the small hours, he helps himself to my hot water and bubbles. He eats all the other bugs in the house, including spiders. I kept my face very still when he said that.

Anyway, I bought a new shower cap.

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Word count: (excluding author's note): 366

Submitted on: 6th May at 23:37

*Quick Author's Note*

First, and most importantly: thank you so much for reading my story!

A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes an 127 day streak since the 1st January.

Please do consider lending your support to the other creators who are also on this madcap "a story every day" adventure. They are putting out excellent content every day!

Rachel Deeming

Gerard DiLeo

The story behind the story: Please enjoy this cartoon from my childhood which inspired this silly little story! Does anyone else remember this? To this day, I hum this song if ever there is a spider in the bath. My daughter used to think there was a beach down the plughole, and that's where the spiders came from, because they'd been on their holidays.

Leave me a comment! Please do leave me a comment. It makes it easier for me to reciprocate the read. Please leave me a link if you've written a spidery story you would like me to read.

Thank you

Thank you again! Most especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I see you, and appreciate you 😁

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Short StoryMicrofiction
18

About the Creator

L.C. Schäfer

Book-baby is available on Kindle Unlimited

Flexing the writing muscle

Never so naked as I am on a page. Subscribe for nudes.

Here be micros

Twitter, Insta Facey

Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz

"I've read books. Well. Chewed books."

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Comments (17)

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  • Phil Flannery12 days ago

    Cool

  • Cathy holmes13 days ago

    Bahahaha. This is great.

  • D.K. Shepard15 days ago

    I was prepared for horror, not humor! What a delightful micro! Loved “My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit.” What a cool source of inspiration and tidbit about your daughter’s imagination!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)15 days ago

    Hahah!!! "Anyway I bought a new shower cap".... I can't!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 This was soooooo funny, I totally thought this would creep me out but just like you my heebies stopped jeebying lol Great work LC!!

  • Haha that was a great tale! Loved it! I feel like he’d raise four eyebrows. That’s my guess. But this was a fun and unique creation of the situation, really funny!

  • The Dani Writer15 days ago

    "We chatted. He's a decent guy. My heebies even stopped jeebying. A bit." OMG. That line is priceless!

  • Great work! Also, I have never seen this video before, but it is extremely catchy!

  • Katarzyna Popiel16 days ago

    I loved this, especially the heebies that stopped jeebying, lol. Showed the story to my arachnophobic daughter and she liked it too so that's saying something!

  • Hannah Moore16 days ago

    Glad they learned to rub along together.

  • Rachel Deeming16 days ago

    That was mad. So funny and quirky, L.C.. And great last line!

  • Hahahahahahahhahahaha that was so freaking hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Mark Gagnon16 days ago

    I only have two eyebrows to raise at this story, but that's 100% so it's good. Funny story, L.C.

  • I liked this bro.

  • Caroline Craven16 days ago

    I absolutely love this. I’m calling top story.

  • John Cox16 days ago

    Loved this, LC. Very Murkami like except that it was funny at the end.

  • I love this! I laughed! Thank you for writing about a giant talking showering spider! ❤️☮️

  • Gerard DiLeo16 days ago

    Very funny. Fun story. He'll be asking for a Jacuzzi, next.

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