A sin I’d forever bear

~~~

I could feel the thump of my heart, the burn in my chest, and all through that, the soreness of my feet as I pushed my way through the murk.

Silence englobed me, wrapping around my figure like a warm blanket.

The foreboding darkness was sure to prevail in the gloom of a minute, and all through the time it lasted, I heard that distant voice which had gotten me out of bed at such hour of the night.

"Please!!"

That sound traveled all the way to my ears, wavering with all despair.

There was something to it, perhaps it had to do with the familiarity in that voice, which had left me most agitated.

Of course, I was one to recognize the voice, for in fact, I had grown up every single day being scolded by it, and now come to realize it as my sister's.

She sounded like she needed help, yet, little me couldn't understand whatever could be so intense that had left the wails of my sister traveling and echoing past the walls of the modest home we both shared with our parents.

"Kailyn?" I mouthed into the stillness, perhaps I thought that sound would provide every answer to such a situation I found myself warped in.

My gaze skimmed around the quietude of a hall, fear claiming the most of me, as the shudders in Kailyn's voice turned even more audible.

And I hadn't even realized the screams coming from her room, not until the sound of something crashing had me jolting on my feet.

And with that, I was already fleeing down the hallway, set in the direction of her room.

Why weren't mom and dad getting up from bed? I thought to myself.

For as much as I knew, every single drop of a sound was enough to send echoes traveling all the way to the comfort of their bedroom, so what really could keep them in there, while the wails of Kailyn threatened to bring down the building.

From in here, I caught onto the sound of nocturnal animals, beginning their journey through the night.

And I tell you, those sounds did nothing but leave me shuddering right here on my feet.

My eyes registered a dim light, pushing through Kailyn’s bedroom door, barely providing enough glow for the darkness out here, and soon, I advanced onwards.

My legs took a jolt, hurrying my footsteps as the sound of her voice became even prominent, struck with what I only deduced as fright.

"Pleeeeassse! Don't do it"

That utterance was faint, pricking into my ears, and while that voice spoke in wavers, I couldn’t push back the ache which claimed me as I listened to the pain in my sister’s words.

Do what? I wondered. Who in this house could she be speaking to at such hour.

We were just a family of four—Father, Mother, Kailyn and I, and as far as it goes, we rarely received visitors, not until it was the festive period.

And only then did my feet gain life, hurrying on.

My legs juddered in fright upon arrival at Kailyn's room, and with my gaze accommodating the dimness of the light which peered out through her slightly ajar door, I tried to make out the silhouettes in there.

There were two figures on the bed, seemingly in a struggle of some kind.

One of them went gaining prowess over the other, and with a linger there, I came to recognize Kailyn’s figure, propped underneath the other whose profile I still couldn’t make out.

And in that moment I found myself most churned, a loud smack soon broke out into the silence, accompanied by an ear-piercing scream coming from Kailyn.

Instantly, I drew closer, pushing the door back just to have a clear view of what was going on inside.

And with the sight left gazing back at me, I felt every vigor leave my being, with all of me slowly withering.

There, straddling the form of Kailyn, was Uncle Adams, hands gripping her in ways which remained an eye-sore to me, fingers, reaching to tear apart that silk night dress she had clothing her body, it didn’t take long for him to bare her naked before him.

His hands reaching for her neck, tugging and prying, and in a second, he had slammed her head hard into the grey faux pillows, splitting her legs apart in opposite ends.

The sound of Kailyn’s voice dropped, breaths gone raspy, emitted in wavers, she only remained laid there, while the hands of Uncle Adams roamed in places of her body that seemed even foreign to her.

His lips trailed about every bit of her skin, as if in search of something, his stout form, submerging her lanky figure into the bed.

I watched the sight in horror, the cries coming from my sister, every bit of a bother to my ears.

Transfixed to a spot, I found my legs immobile, eyes gaping on in utter fright.

If I was told over and over again, that the person rendering such despair to my sister was Uncle Adam, I wouldn’t care to spare a listen to, even though my own eyes saw it all.

How could I believe such? Tell me how then I could believe that it was dad’s older brother disrupting the comfort of Kailyn with his intruding touches and rough gropings.

A man we grew up with, adoring as a father figure. We loved him as a child would their father, saw him no different from our own father.

It happened so fast as Kailyn had sent a kick to him in the gut. And with a loud yell emitted from Uncle Adams, a followed with a slap, smacking Kailyn hard across the face.

I watched the two get into a rout, struggling and wrestling with each other.

Kailyn shuffled back on the bed, biting down on Uncle Adams’ arm, which only earned her a punch to her guts.

She fell back, reaching for the head board, trying to climb out of his way, but with a tug of her form, he held her down in a minute, pulling her back.

Silence, it was all which beget me.

I heard a thud, followed by a crack and then Kailyn's eyes met with mine.

Those eyes uttered a million words to me, yet amidst all, I knew she pled for help. Face filled with every horror, eyes withering in mine, she only remained beckoning onto me in such agony.

Yet, here I stood unable to move an inch.

I hadn’t realized the tears which came settling with me, not until I felt something hot stinging my cheeks.

Those eyes of Kailyn, and how cold they had grown had caused my whole body going rigid.

But I tell you, that wasn't what terrified me the most.

What left me most beaten was of the fact that the figure of Kailyn had suddenly gone still, with no movements to be made.

Her arms fell tenderly to her side, with a portion of hair fallen over her face.

I felt the tremble in my lips, the sting in my eyes, and the soreness of my feet, all the while I stood on this ground.

Perhaps, I expected Uncle Adams to go terrified after realization of what he had just done, but all he did was push her body away from his, spitting on her.

I watched him snatch a pair of scissors off the dresser, and in a second, he cut a portion of her tendrils with it.

He secured it into his hands, soon tucking it into his pocket.

I heard him mutter something in a low breath, and in a second his head snapped at the doorway towards my direction.

I bailed in an instant, hurrying out of there at once.

I could feel my chest constricting, screaming for air all the while I took off in the direction that led to my room.

The moment I pried the door to my room open, I sank onto the carpet floor, falling to my knees, holding my gut, and letting the tears drop.

July 4, at around 2:30 a.m, I saw Kailyn being murdered, and I did nothing.

A sin, I'd forever bear.