A Path to Perfection

Margie pinched a roll of fat from her stomach as she looked out the window. She saw them, a whole pack of svelte neighborhood moms walking together pushing their strollers wearing tight leggings and razor back tank tops. The “rollerburgade” her husband jokingly called them. They were just a few houses away.

She looked down at her chubby legs encased in leggings and the rolls popping out from the razor back tank top she bought. It was supposed to be slimming but it was anything but. She took a breath and smoothed her hair which was already frizzing in the morning humidity.

Her stroller had already been positioned in the driveway, ready. So what if she hadn’t officially been invited to join the rollerburgade, if she happened to be pushing Joy in a stroller at the same time, the moms would have to welcome her in.

“Time to go, sweetheart.” She said as she grabbed Joy and scurried outside, popping her into her stroller as Joy let out a delighted giggle.

She made her way to the end of the driveway just as the moms began to pass.

“Hey!” Margie called cheerfully, pushing her stroller out into the road.

“Hi.” a bunch of them said waving dismissively then returned to their in-depth conversations.

Tendrils of worry began to twist around Margie’s stomach but she pushed her stroller forward anyway. She joined the back of the pack looking around to the other moms engrossed in conversation. She added a “un huh” and a “wow” here and there that all went unheard.

As they reached the hill Margie fell back feeling her legs scream as she tried to propel both the stroller and herself up the hill at the same speed. Soon the pack of moms grew further and further away in the distance. Not one looked back to see her fall behind.

Exhausted and sweaty, once she reached her house she parked the stroller and ran up to her dresser. She took out the pamphlet she kept hidden in her sock drawer and whispered to herself, "It's time to become the perfect version of me."

“Dan,” she said as her voice wobbled. Then swallowing to make her voice sound stronger she walked up to him, thrusting the pamphlet in front of her.

“Dan I need to go to this retreat. I need to lose the weight and this is the only way. It is only a week but I will come home transformed!” She said excitedly as if could clearly see this was her path to perfection.

Dan rolled his eyes and took a breath. “Are you serious Margie? What is this some kinda fat camp for adults?”

“No, it's a wellness retreat that helps you reset and lose the weight.”

“How much is this going to cost? Who will watch Joy?”

Margie shared the cost and explained that her mom would come watch Joy while Dan was at work.

“Sounds like a waste of money.” Dan sighed.

The hope filling Margie’s chest began to sink, forming a hard pit in her stomach.

“You don’t think I can do it?” Margie said, trying to push the hurt out of her voice.

“I don’t think you need this, just eat healthy here and walk with the other moms. The woman in the rollerburgade are in great shape.” he answered.

Of course he noticed them. Margie watched the way he smiled and waved as they walked by, thoroughly enjoying seeing the fit women stroll past.

Margie felt her insides grow cold. “I am doing this and I will be transformed!” she firmly stated tearing the pamphlet from Dan’s hands and stomping upstairs to pack.

A few weeks later she was packed and ready to go.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Margie’s mom inquired as she scooped up Joy.

“Yes…” Margie said, sounding less sure of herself than ever. She gave her daughter a big squeeze and cooed, “I will see you soon my sweet girl.”

Joy giggled and cupped her little fingers around Margie’s face. To her, Margie was perfect.

Margie double checked the pamphlet as she parked and walked up to the resort. What was pictured in the pamphlet as serene and modern was actually a set of rustic run down log cabins. She walked with eyes wide as she took in her surroundings.

“Ok,” Said the man at check in. “Here is your schedule for the week and you are in bunk 9.”

Margie looked at him stunned. Each day was mapped out from sunrise yoga, smoothie breakfast, followed by a walk, lake time, and rec time in the afternoon.

“This is a fat camp for grown ups.” She whispered to herself as she made her way into the cabin and looked at the bunk beds. She didn’t see the woman with the short black hair in the corner.

“That’s it!” The woman cackled, her eyes growing wide with mirth. “Yes, that is exactly what this is. A freaking fat camp for broads like us!”

“I am Claudia by the way.” She added.

“Margie.” Margie answered as her cheeks reddened.

“So why are you here?” Claudia asked, looking at Margie.

Margie, looked down at her stomach that devolved into a wave of rolls under her shirt. “Well, um, obviously I need to lose weight.” she said sheepishly. Then looking up with more confidence said, “I am here to be transformed into the perfect version of me.” which was the same mantra printed on the pamphlet.

“Wow, are you some kind of robot? This place has sunk its hooks in you deep. You truly believe this?” Claudia asked, astounded.

“Well, yes, why else would I be here? Why are you here?” Margie asked as the first few slivers of doubt began to work their way into her vision of the week ahead.

“Oh, my sister-in-law bought this for me, that bitch. You shoulda seen her smug little skinny face when she gave this to me.” She sneered. “But I figured what the hell, why let it go to waste.” She said pulling out a wine cooler.

“Um, I don’t think you are supposed to have that.” Margie whispered as she shifted uncomfortably.

“What are you gonna report me to our counselors?” Claudia cackled, taking a long pull from the wine cooler.

“No, its just… Don’t you want to be transformed?” Margie asked.

“Haha, they could never change me.” Claudia giggled.

Over the next few days Margie followed the program religiously. She attended the voluntary sunrise yoga, caught every workout class, and gritted her way through the low calorie meals. Claudia had not attended a single one.

As weigh in day approached, Margie smiled to herself. My first step to the new me. She couldn’t wait to see her results. She watched her fellow campers jump on the scale losing five pounds, two pounds, one person even losing eight pounds.

I have worked harder than all of them, she thought to herself, remembering the counselor's praise throughout the week.

Claudia was just ahead of her. She stepped on the scale. She lost point five pounds. Margie sent her a sad smile but Claudia put her hands up over her head in triumph.

“Down point five! That will show my sister in law!” She laughed walking by Margie.

At last it was Margie’s turn, surely she could expect at least three to five. She tried not to get her hopes up but eight would be lovely.

“My favorite camper!” the counselor said as Margie approached.

Margie smiled ear to ear confidently approaching the scale.

She stepped on looking down at the number. Her smile slid off her face as she saw her number.

“That can’t be…” she began desperately searching the counselor's face. “Is this one broken, can I try the next one?”

Before receiving an answer, Margie jumped in front of the woman in the line adjacent to her and hopped on the scale. It read the same. Her face reddened in humiliation.

“Muscle weighs more than fat, sometimes it takes few weeks for your body to adjust and …” The counselor began with a strained smile but Margie just walked right out of the building.

She found her way to her cabin and threw her clothes haphazardly into her suitcase, zipping it shut with bits of clothes popping out from the sides.

“You aren’t staying for the celebration? I heard they are having carrot sticks and apples.” Claudia giggled, taking a long pull from another wine cooler she had stowed away.

Margie just glared and continued to grab her things.

“Come with me.” Claudia said pulling her toward the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” Margie asked but Claudia just guided her to the car.

After driving across a few back roads a small diner came into view. It had a shiny metal exterior and neon sign out front.

“A diner?” Margie asked as Claudia ushered her inside.

“Are you ready for the best chocolate cake of your life?” Claudia gushed.

“Cake, no I can’t eat …” she began but soon she caught sight of the most beautiful chocolate cake she had ever seen. As it rotated slowly she could see the chocolate shavings decorating the outside and the swirls of rich cocoa frosting dotting the top.

Maybe just a bite, she thought.

She and Claudia sat in the booth as the waitress strolled up. Claudia smiled and addressed her by name.

“Sandy, my friend and I need the biggest, fattest slices you have of that chocolate cake.”

“Coming right up!” Sandy smiled as she swiftly cut the cake and brought it over.

Margie stared down at the cake, unable to move her fork toward it.

“I shouldn't,” she tried but her voice was weak and hollow.

“Come on, it won’t bite.” said Claudia who had already dug in, frosting smeared across her front lip.

Margie looked at the cake. Its chocolate tempting her, daring her.

She slowly lifted her fork and skimmed the side of the cake picking up the smallest of bites.

As she bit the flavor exploded on Margie’s tongue. She could taste the bitter coco, the sweet nutty almond notes, and most of all the frosting gliding like silk across her tongue. It was unlike anything she had eaten before.

She took a larger bite next, then another. Claudia ordered another round of cake.

As they ate all of the hurt from the walking moms and the weight loss camp failure came spilling out. Bite after bite Margie felt farther and farther away from perfect.

Claudia looked at her carefully, chocolate spilling from the corner of her mouth.

“Do you really think those five pounds will make you happy, or joining those walking bitches? Claudia.

“Well, no, but…” Margie stuttered.

“Then enjoy what you got sweetheart.”