A Mother's Priority | Chapter 3

Lola's first birthday. One year. We've made it one entire year with our little girl. Or.. I have, at least. Tate has been in and out of our lives, trying to claim how he was sick and tired of the cries coming from the little girl he swore he never wanted in the first place; but he was always back the next day to remind Lola about how she was the only special girl in his heart. I guess I shouldn't complain. I should just be lucky that my baby's dad wanted to stay in our lives. Hell, my own father couldn't even handle the responsibility of staying in his little girl's life.

For Lola's first birthday, I decided to take her out for her first ever visit towards the beach. I didn't really feel like throwing Lola a huge birthday bash since she wouldn't remember it anyway, and considering Tate never likes it when I become social with other people.. I've decided to just save the argument and spend the day with just Lola instead. Not to mention, I really do not need people to pry in and question the bruises on my arms and legs, or questioning why the house looked as damaged and disgusting as it does. Tate never really cleans up after himself when he drinks and still has yet to fix the mess he created that day he chucked a whole empty six pack at my face when I didn't get him a new pack quick enough.

The beach experience did turn out to be a whole lot of fun, though. Lola built what she thought to be sandcastles in the sand; she was actually just smacking her hands against the sand and pushing it from side to side, but what do you expect, she's one. Lola was afraid of the waves crashing to shore at first, but as soon as I slowly introduced her to them, she immediately fell in love with them. I was convinced that she was about to fight me when it came time to go back out onto the sand, but luckily she loves "building sandcastles" more than the crashing waves.

Lola managed to hold herself up using my arm, squeezing against the bruise that Tate had left on the skin a couple days back, causing me to bite my lip in order to make sure Lola never saw that I had been in pain. The last thing I needed was for my little girl to think that she hurt her mommy.. although she's only one and probably wouldn't even realize it if she did cause me pain; I just didn't want to take the chance. A small part of me did wish Tate was here to enjoy Lola's birthday with us. He was her father, after all. He was so big on telling her how she will always be his little girl, or how nothing can come between his love for her, but here we are.. his little girl's first birthday and he's nowhere to be found. Instead of being with his daughter, who he claims to be the main girl of his heart, he's probably out getting drunk at some bar where he'll stumble on home blaming me for the bartender taking away his keys that night. As if I really cared if he drove home drunk or not. Alright.. I do. I do care. Lola shouldn't have to grow up without her dad. Nobody deserves that. I just wish Tate could take this a little more seriously than he does. Raising Lola isn't all sunshine and rainbows; it takes effort.

"Bub-Bub." Lola pointed towards the waves crashing to shore. She couldn't talk yet, but that never stopped her from being talkative about everything she could see. "Bub-Bub. Bub-Bub." Lola repeated.

"Do you want the water, Lola?" I asked her.

"Bub-Bub." She repeated. I scooped her up in my arms and ran her down to the waves, only getting as far as ankle deep before holding her up so that her own feet can touch the water as well.

"You love these waves, don't you Lola?" I couldn't help but smile. These were the moments I wished Tate could see. Not her crying. Not her screaming or throwing a tantrum over the tiniest of things. This. Her slamming her feet into the water as she giggled at the sight of water splashing up towards the sky. Her non-stop smiling each time a wave crashed into her little legs. The way she would dip her booty into the water and laugh because it was just so funny to her that she got her bum wet. These were the moments Tate should be witnessing of her.

"Bub-Bub mama." Lola said all so suddenly.

"What did you just say Lola?" I squatted down to her eye level, not even caring if my outfit was currently submerged in water.

Lola just played with the water as if what just happened wasn't that big of a deal.

"You said mama," I smiled at her, "You just said mama." I picked her up and held her close in my arms, "You just said mama, Lola. Your first words. You just said your first words." With Lola still in my hands, I ran up to where our stuff were left before and placed her back down on the sand before immediately picking up my phone.

"Oh Lola," I was still smiling from ear to ear, "I have to call daddy. I have to share to him what you just did." I dialed Tate's number before putting the phone up to my ear, glancing over at Lola who was back to smacking the sand as if that was going to magically pop a sandcastle out of nowhere.

"What do you want?" Tate's voice was heard on the other side.

"Tate," I didn't even care that he didn't greet me when he first answered the phone, "You are not going to believe what our little girl just did."

"What?"

"She said mama." I couldn't help the excitement that came out as I said these words. My little girl just said her very first word. How could you not feel excited in this moment?

"How conceited could you be?" He asked me.

"What?" My smile slowly began to fade.

"Would you have been this excited if she had said.. oh I don't know.. dada?"

"Tate," I sighed, "it was her first word."

"Who the hell cares?" He asked, "So what? You interrupted my very busy day to tell me some useless information that I couldn't give two shits about?"

"I just thought you wanted to know."

"You thought wrong."

"She's your daughter as well, Tate."

"Oh really?" He asked me, "That's funny because last time I checked you were out celebrating our daughters first birthday without me."

"You were supposed to be with us for this day." I said back to him, "Don't blame me for refusing to celebrate to your own daughter's first birthday."

"Fuck you." He said before hanging up on me.

I placed the phone back down before bending over to look back at Lola once more, "We don't need him, Lola. Daddy's just being a little cranky this afternoon. It'll just be you and-"

"Mama." She said once more, interrupting my sentence.

I poked her nose, "That's right. You and mama." I proceeded to push some sand closer to her, showing her how to make a real sandcastle, but she just kept slapping her hand onto the dirt mound each time. I couldn't help but giggle. Boy, did I love this little girl so very much.