A Girl's Christmas: Part 5

I walk down the hallway toward the entrance hall, pausing briefly outside of the doorframe and leaning forward to peer into the room. My parents are seated on the couch, facing each other across the coffee table, the remote control still clenched between their fingers. Their mouths are pressed tightly together, but I notice that they're smiling.

I look toward the stairs leading to my bedroom and see that the room is empty. I push the door to my bedroom open quietly and creep inside, keeping quiet so that no noise escapes me. Only four blankets are laying neatly on the bed. My own is missing.

I slowly pull it down from its place above the headboard and place it gently on the ground, right on top of my pillows. My parents must have taken mine while I was talking to Danny.

I let my gaze wander over my room and I find myself smiling when I realize that all of my Christmas stuff is still lying around everywhere. Everything’s still the same, just as it’s always been. But I can’t deny the feeling that it’s changed. Or that I have changed.

It’s nice to see that even after all of this time my mom and dad still cared. Even though sometimes they acted like they weren’t…

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs stops me from thinking too much about that. I immediately jump back into the doorway, pressing myself close against the wall with my back pressed firmly against the wood, and hold my breath, hoping that whoever’s coming isn’t aware of my presence.

The door opens and my parents walk into view. I’m glad that they can’t see me because I’d probably burst out laughing if they did. They’d probably laugh too and tease me mercilessly if I started crying right then and there. I can hear the faint sound of their chatter from here and I wonder what sort of Christmas music they’re playing now.

Just then a sudden silence settles into the room. My heartbeat quickens and the only sounds that fill the air are my ragged breaths and the faint sounds of carols being played. I can’t move. It feels as if the whole world froze just for me as I stare at the door, willing it to stay closed as long as possible. I can practically see the person on the other side of the door staring at me, probably with wide eyes and an expression full of curiosity, disbelief and utter amusement.

But the person on the other side of the door stays silent, and it takes every ounce of strength I possess not to break down into loud, uncontrollable sobs and wails. Why is she here? Did she come to say goodbye? To apologize? To beg for forgiveness?

Why is she even here? Is she really leaving us again?

Suddenly my heart hurts so badly that I gasp and cover my mouth with one hand, squeezing my eyes shut to prevent any tears from escaping and falling onto the carpet. I’ve done everything to avoid the thought of her leaving once again. I’ve tried to do everything in my power to make her stay, but I’m sure that I’ll never succeed. She’ll leave again and the pain will come crashing back down.

I squeeze my eyes tighter, wishing more than anything that I hadn't run away like that earlier that morning. It’s hard to admit this, but I know I’ve made a huge mistake. I should have just told her the truth from the beginning instead of running away from her. Maybe this is better than trying to live in a lie; maybe this is a way to save our relationship from breaking down completely and I don’t understand why she couldn’t see this sooner. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but I really wanted her to stay. I want her to be happy too. At least for a short while.

To be continued...