A Gaggle of Giggles

The Bar

Two guys walk into a bar. Neither wearing a mask.

Bartender shouts "Hey you two, have you had your shot?"

"No" they reply in stereo.

The bartender rushes over with two short glasses full of a fizzy yellow liquid.

"What's in it?" Asks one of the men.

"Oops, almost forgot" says the bartender as he adds the slice of lime.

The two men order their drinks and go for a table.

A waiter tries to stop them "Can't sit here without your booster."

Ignoring him, they sit down anyhow.

Eye level with his drink one man says to his friend "Either this seat's too low or this table's too high."

The waiter returns with two ridiculously thick cushions.

The Store

A crowd is gathered around a woman on the floor at their local bulk buy store.

Whispers from the crowd aren't hard to hear.

"What's her problem?"

"Why such a big deal?"

"Why can't she just do what everyone else would do?"

"Must be crazy."

"Or just stupid."

Finally, an employee makes it through the crowd.

"Make way" the young lad shouts.

The crowd divides at his word so that he and the woman can get the spider outside.

The Doctor

A man has a video conference with his doctor.

He has stiffness and pain in his neck.

The doctor says "Let's see when and where it hurts the most."

First, he has him lean to the right.

The man has no pain this way.

Then it's lean to the left.

The man is visibly uncomfortable at the tiniest tilt.

"A little further" says the doctor.

The man tries in pain.

"It hurts too bad" he says.

"Just a bit more" whispers the doc.

As his ear just about reaches his shoulder the pain is too much and his neck gets stuck.

That's when he notices his wife changing in his background.

"What the -"

The Ad

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So Stay Tuned

The Job

"I measured already and you're not far enough away and keep your damn mask on." said Suzie to Simon.

"I can't believe how serious you take this." Simon says back.

"Just stay away from me and focus on your work." she snorts through her mask.

"Fine" grunts Simon as he walks away pulling his mask over his face.

Suddenly Suzie screams as a group of customers comes close.

They scream too, having not noticed her and regain their distance.

A moment later Suzie hears the same crowd screaming as Simon roars with rage.

Later in the back, Suzie screams bloody murder.

Simon had creeped up right behind her.

"Dammit Simon!" She shouted some more. "You can take your mask off now, it's over."

"Shame" says Simon. "What time are we back tomorrow?"

"The Haunted House opens at seven."

A Few Extra Giggles

Click It or Ticket unless you're on a bus.

Don't take rides from strangers unless it's a ride-share.

Don't eat yellow snow unless you call it a slushy drink.

Laughter is the best medicine unless your medicine makes you laugh.

Hope you enjoyed the read and had a good laugh or two. If so be sure to leave a heart and check out my other works here on Vocal or on Facebook @TalesFromAMadman

Good Fortune to You