A Drag Queen Country Christmas

When you're a drag queen who hasn't competed on a nationally televised reality show, a booking is a booking. Even if that gig is in some rinky-dink cow town in Iowa. Merry Christmas to me.

My name is Devon, but you can call me Betty, Betty Dicker-Downs. By day, I'm a data analyst. By night, I'm the main diva on the scene. Well, I used to be. Until that musty grinch, Amanduh Ross stole my stage.

For the last three years, I've held a spot on the weekend showcase at a dive bar outside Chicago. It wasn't a perfect job but it helped pay for my drag. It was a tiny bar, and the stage was horrendous. There wasn't even proper lighting. But, expressing my art kept me coming back. Being Betty every weekend made me feel like I was on top of the world.

Then came Amanduh; young, beautiful, and filthy rich. When you can afford that many rhinestones, it's not hard to push your way into a gig. Even if you lacked any true talent. Seeing as I was 32, one of the oldest queens on the cast. I was let go. Amanda rose to dive bar fame and I fell from grace. Apparently, 32 is a dinosaur in drag years.

So, I did what all dinosaurs facing extinction did; I curled up for months with ice cream and my cat Perky. Perky doesn't shove one-dollar bills down my breastplate. Perky certainly doesn't smack my ass when I twirl or call me gross names, but the cat admires me. As an out-of-work working girl, I was in desperate need of some admiration.

This went on for a few months. Summer turned to autumn and autumn turned to winter. While I made enough money to pay the bills, I was dying to be back on the stage. Being a drag queen wasn't just a hobby, it was my calling. I did bookings here and there. Nothing spectacular or gag-worthy. I needed something with substance and shimmer. I needed a gig that paid well and allowed me to showcase my talents.

You see, I wasn't some old lip sync and dance queen, galavanting around the stage in ill-fitting pumps. I was a singer. While most of my life as Devon had left me too shy to sing, something changed when I discovered Betty. The drag persona was a mask that allowed me to shine; a place to be both very public with my talent and painfully shy. It didn't matter how awkward or nervous Devon was, when I painted myself into Betty, I was a damn superstar. A superstar dying to hit the stage.

Then came the casting call. A Christmas-themed variety showcase was seeking acts from a broad range of talents. There was just one problem. The show was at some hetero bar in the middle of Orville, Iowa. When I say I was nervous to perform in the show, that's an understatement. When I was offered the gig, my heart skipped a beat. Had any of the locals even seen a drag queen, let alone attend a drag show? I was flooded with thoughts of torches and pitchforks.

But, a gig was a gig. I was aching to have my voice heard. I took the booking. I instantly started making plans and sewing costumes. A few weeks later, I was off to Iowa. I wondered if there would be as many cornfields in real life as the internet made it seem.

I was in a car full of glitter and heels. Through the city and onto the snowy interstate, I made my way toward Orville. I knew it was dangerous to take a trip dressed up in drag, but I didn't care. This was my first time getting to be Betty in months. I was excited. I went with the most maximalist ensemble in my wardrobe. Something elegant, yet serving, 'she's been doing this a while'.

My wig was massive, with three stacks of pink curls. I was feeling fine. My dress, also pink, was long and glitzy. I made it myself with glitter-hewn fabrics and tooling. It took me hours to fashion the pastel peppermint patches. It was worth it. Between the glistening gems and the high split up my leg, I knew I was visible from outer space. A glowing Christmas dream made of drama and lace.

I didn't care. I felt fabulous. I had a booking to look forward to. The only thing I was missing was my heels. I tried to drive with them on, but that didn't last. In these road conditions, it was better to be safe than sorry. I kicked off my pumps and drove barefoot.

A deer meandered across the wintry road. It was young. The deer wandered towards towering white and green pines that glistened beneath a falling sun.

When I slammed on the brakes, my car skirted across the ice. I fishtailed, gripping the wheel. I tried to maintain control of my little Kia. It was useless. I was screwed. My car went sliding into a tree with a loud crack.

I probably should have packed some regular shoes. All I had brought was heels for the show, and some slides to wear around my hotel room. Not exactly a wise choice for a trip to Iowa a week before Christmas. Guess who was standing ankle-deep in the snow with nothing more than some strappy pink pumps? This bitch.

My toes were turning blue. My wig was full of fluffy snow. I was starting to beat myself up for not bringing a winter jacket. Nothing I tried would get my car unstuck from the tree. I could have pushed harder but I spent a lot of money on these pink peppermint nails. There was no chance I was breaking one for some crappy little car. I'd call a tow truck. If I ever found a way into town. And, you know, if this dinky place had some damn cell service.

The sun fell beyond the trees. The cold wind picked up with fluffy flakes of white. It was getting dark. I was sitting in my car. With my hand raising my phone to the sky, I tried Google symptoms of hypothermia. I was sure I was going to die. All I wanted for Christmas was the chance to take the spotlight again. What I got were the shivers. Things couldn't get any worse.

Then, headlights broke through the blizzard ahead. A red pickup truck came barreling down the road. When the truck saw my car, it came to a sudden stop.

When I tell you the sexiest man I had ever seen came rushing to my aide, that's not a lie. Cowboy, take me away. He was tall and broad. The stranger was dressed in jeans and yellow plaid. His charming smile was nothing compared to those big brown eyes. His jaw was square and stubbled, pulled tight in concern. I kept staring at him like a big dumb idiot who had forgotten how to move.

"Are you okay ma'am?" The cowboy rushed to my side.

Before I could respond, I could already see it in his eyes. The cowboy's breath hitched as he took my hand. With a twinkle in his eye, he helped me out of the car. For a second, we stood there staring at each other like helpless fools.

Oh, that poor, innocent man, unaware the woman he was gawking at probably had a bigger dick than he did.

"I'm fine," I shyly smiled. "Thanks for stopping to help."

"It's the right thing to do," the cowboy said with a buttery cadence. "I'm Reese. It seems like you're in a bit of a pickle miss…"

I felt my cheeks flush. Our eyes interlocked. It's like we couldn't stop staring at each other. I figured there was a snowball's chance in hell of this going anywhere, but it felt nice.

"My name is Betty. Betty Dicker-Downs," I shook the cowboy's extended hand. "I was on my way to Orville for the Christmas Showcase, but I swerved to avoid a deer…"

"Ended up smack dab against the bark side of a pine tree," Reese looked at my car. "Don't worry about it. Seems like you've got a carful of belongings to get to that showcase. I'll load everything in the back of my truck. You've got to be freezing. Why don't you get in my truck? I'll turn the heat up for you."

"Um," I ran my crimson lips together thinking about it. This guy could be a serial killer or bigot. I probably shouldn't have, but I got in the truck.

Reese's pickup was boosted. So tall, he had to give me a lift from the padding on my butt. I was hoping Reese hadn't noticed. It was embarrassing enough being stranded on the side of the road with a stranger. His knowing I was a drag queen would only make it worse. Reese seemed like a nice guy but his accent threw me off. A lot of guys who talked like Reese were the type to toss me an F-bomb, and not the kind that comes with a 'fuck'. I was terrified, but I had to play it cool. If Reese found out the truth, he could leave me stranded on the roadside.

I watched from the cab as Reese began transferring my luggage from the car to the truck. I have to admit it, the dude had some muscles. Some of my suitcases were swollen with pounds of Swarovski crystal. Reese lifted them with ease. It was admirable but horrifying. What if the cowboy found out I was a man? I couldn't get the thought of him beating me up out of my head. Those arms looked like they could do some damage.

Reese calmed me with a friendly smile when he hopped in the cab. It's like he could sense the tension eating away at me.

"Orville is a long drive from here in a blizzard," Reese started the engine. "I hope you have some place to stay."

"I do," I smiled at him. I had my arms crossed over my chest. The breastplate didn't exactly match my skin tone and I wasn't trying to get caught. "I'm staying at the Jordan Hotel. I could use a hot bath and some wine," I admitted.

Reese didn't say anything. I couldn't read his eyes. He was too focused on the road and I was distracted. Secretly, I was aching to untuck. After hours in the tightest tucking tape imaginable, the girls needed some air.

For a while, we drove in silence. I watched out the side window as snow flurried past. I was afraid too much conversation would out me, and didn't want to distract Reese from driving.

We turned down a dirt road. When we turned, I saw a twinkling town on a snowy hillside. It was gorgeous. Like something out of a cool blue painting on a Christmas card.

Betty?" Reese broke the silence.

"Yes?" I asked, watching as the lights grew closer.

"You're not like most women around Orville," Reese turned and offered me a shy smile. His cheeks flushed red. "All the girls around here are so… bland and boring. Your sparkle doesn't just come from that dress. There's something special about you."

"Nope," I chuckled, trying to steer the conversation away. "I'm not special. I'm a regular girl looking for a place to sing her songs."

"You're a singer?" Reese's eyes twinkled at me.

"I'm not like a professional or anything, but I got some pipes," I said.

"Well," Reese pulled his mouth into a playful smile, "sing me something."

"I don't know…" I hesitated. "I can't just sing on cue."

"Oh come on. You're playing in the Christmas Showcase," Reese said. "Where's your holiday spirit? Song me a song."

I didn't.

Reese wasn't having it. He turned on the radio. We Wish You A Merry Christmas, was jamming out over the airwaves.

Reese started singing along. He playfully nudged me into joining him. It was awkward but charming. I couldn't help myself. I joined Reese in song. As we sang, we drew nearer to the shimmering town in the distance.

Even from this far away, Orville looked like something out of a Hallmark movie. Cozy, Christmas vibrancy. I hadn't fully arrived yet but I wanted to stay here forever. I wanted to sing cheesy songs next to this handsome cowboy for as long as possible.

I'll admit it, singing Christmas songs on a cold winter's night with a handsome hero wasn't the worst thing that happened to me. As charming as it was, I was still afraid. If Reese found out the truth, he might not have taken it very well. I didn't want to conceal my queenly nature, but I was scared to speak the truth. I had no idea how the people in this town would react; if I had told the booking agent the truth. I am a man.

Okay, so what. I lied to get booked. Sue me. I needed a little holly with my jolly this year. Ever since that grinch Amanduh stole my job, I wasn't feeling all that Christmasy.

Singing carols with Reese was comforting, if not chaotic. Reese kept half-heartedly hitting notes. It was like he was trying to sing badly. I knew he had it in him. Strangely, when Reese did go for it, It was like I knew that voice. I had heard it somewhere before. I could recognize that buttery, deep twang anywhere. Yet I couldn't place it. Frankly, it was driving me nuts.

Soon, we pulled up to a tiny hotel on the edge of town. We were three Christmas carols deep by then. Despite my fear, and crotch begging for fresh air, I was enjoying myself. Reese has a calm, cool demeanor that makes it easy to loosen up around him.

"This is it," Reese put the car in park.

"Thanks," I pulled the door handle. "After I check in do you mind helping me get my luggage inside?"

"Not at all," Reese unbuckled and hopped out of the car.

He hurried to my door and opened it. Reese offered me his hand to help me climb out of the cab. My heel slid across the slickness of the icy cement. Reese had sensed it because a second later I was safely caught up in his arms.

Reese smelled expensive. You'd think a cowboy in a small town like this would reek of harsh pesticides and manure. Not Reese. The guy smelled like musk, caramel, and cocoa. Whatever cologne he was wearing made the guy smell like a sexy box of chocolates. One I couldn't help but imagine snacking my way through.

"Thanks," I said, still held in Reese's strong arms.

Reese planted me back on my feet with a, "You're welcome."

Although I had my own money, Reese insisted he'd pay for my hotel room. He assured me my car would be an expensive fix, that I had to let him do this. Handsome, a gentleman, and probably straight as a nail. Just my luck. Not to mention the fact that he lives on the set of a Hallmark movie and I live in Chicago.

Reese helped me bring my luggage into the room. The hotel wasn't glamorous. It had one bed, a kitchenette, and a bathroom. It was a budget-friendly room but the owners went all out on Christmas decor. Aside from the tub, the best part was a small fireplace crackling beside the bed. Next to the fireplace were two illuminated reindeer.

I thanked Reese for being so helpful as I fell back on the bed.

"You're welcome, Betty."

Reese casually took a seat next to me. His hand rested just inches from mine. I could feel the warmth of him buzzing away at me, trying to draw me near. I couldn't do it.

I sat up, not wanting to crush my wig.

"Have you lived in Orville long?" I turned to look at Reese while fixing my wig.

"My whole life," Reese nodded at me. There was something sad that spoiled the chocolate in his eyes. "But not much longer."

"I feel you. Aside from traveling for work, I've spent my whole life in Chicago. It's home. Where are you going?" I asked Reese.

I hadn't noticed but somehow our hands grew closer. The tips of our fingers were now touching. Surprisingly, Reese didn't pull away.

"I, well, if I can ever finish this song I'm working on, I'll be going on tour as an opening act for Miranda Lambert," Reese's face was a mix of excitement and nerves. He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "I have writer's block. I need this last song and I have a full set."

"Wait," I grabbed Reese's hand in excitement. "You're Reese Carpenter? Aren't you?"

Reese stood up from the bed and went to stand before the fireplace. With his back turned to me he said, "I am but I don't try to make a big deal of it."

"I'm not normally a country gal but I love Together Whenever. That song is so sad but your voice is incredible," I walked up to Reese. My heels clicked even on the carpet. I took a place next to him, grabbing his hand. "I take it there was a girl behind the lyrics?"

Reese never took his eyes off the flame. He simply nodded.

"You know what," I told him. "We don't have to talk about it. But, I am going to make you some hot cocoa as thanks for all your help today."

Reese laughed and said, "is that why your bags are so heavy? All that hot cocoa?"

"No," I said, unzipping a suitcase full of snacks and drinks. "I'm actually a serial killer. Took my victims on a road trip."

Reese followed me to the kitchenette. I used the coffeemaker to warm some water before pouring in the cocoa mix.

I handed Reese his cup and took a sip of mine.

"You're a drag queen aren't you?" Reese asked.

I nearly choked on cocoa.

"I, uh, how…" I couldn't find the words. I was terrified Reese would snap at any moment.

To my surprise, Reese came closer and set his drink on the counter. He grabbed my free hand and kissed it.

"I could spot a drag queen from a mile away," Reese locked me in a curious gaze. "Don't worry. Orville is a friendly town. You don't have anything to worry about."

"Thank Jegaysus," I took a deep breath. "I've been so worried that I would be performing for a bunch of…"

"Rednecks? No. Orville is a progressive place. We even have a gay bar."

"You do?" I was shocked. This was a Hallmark town of the future.

"Yeah. It's tiny. And the drag queens are by no means as glamorous as you city girls, but we do alright. Anyway, I should probably get going. I know you're going to be busy getting ready for the showcase. Maybe while you're in town I could take you out for a drink?"

"I don't drink," I told Reese, not realizing that came off a little harsher than I meant. "Not that I wouldn't love to go out with you but I'm sober. Being a drag queen, it's hard to avoid the bottle. But, I'm three years clean."

"That's amazing Betty. No drinking, fair enough. How about dinner then?" Reese still held my hand. I could feel his heartbeat racing through his fingers. This confident cowboy was nervous. It was cute.

"I have rehearsals tomorrow afternoon but I'd love to go out for dinner. Would it be okay if I went as Devon? It's a little hard to have a proper meal in a corset."

"I'd love to meet Devon," Reese smiled at me. "Have a good night."

When Reese left. The first thing I did was rip off my wigs. As I rolled myself out of my pink peppermint dress, all I could think about was Reese. He was handsome, thoughtful, and open-minded. I couldn't believe he asked me out. Even better, thanks to his words I knew I could be myself in this town. I was going to do exactly that.

The next day, in jeans and a flannel jacket, I strolled into the Orville Theater as Devon. I was rolling in three suitcases that I'd strapped together with zip ties.

Martha, the short, cherub of a woman who greeted me was shocked to see a man checking in for Betty Dicker-Downs.

"You're a drag queen?" The woman gasped. "I would never have guessed. You do make a beautiful woman. This is incredible, exactly what the showcase needs. Your dressing room is down the hall to the right. Feel free to explore. I have to rush to the printers to get new posters made. Betty, you're going to be my headlining act."

"Seriously? I could have jumped for joy. "You're going to make me the headliner?"

"Kid. You have the voice of an angel and the drag to blow RuPaul off the airwaves. Of course, you're my headliner. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Wow. Orville was exceeding my expectations. I thought I would have to be dragged up the whole trip. Now they're celebrating the fact that I'm a man in a dress. This was a true Christmas miracle.

I wasn't getting in drag for a soundcheck. So, I decided to sing as Devon. The theater was busy, but mostly with people preparing their acts. In the dimly lit seats, I knew there was a small audience. I was nervous. I never sang as Devon but I had a date that night. I didn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon scrubbing Betty off my face.

I took the microphone and cleared my throat.

At first, my voice was a little rocky but it smoothed out. I was singing Faith Hill's Where Are You Christmas? When it came time for the actual show, I had a whole sketch planned. I'd come out as Martha May Whovier, a character from the film. I would spend the whole song searching for my handsome grinch. If anyone from the audience was extra receptive to the performance, I had a green mask tucked in my breastplate to bring them on stage. At which point, I would cover my grinch in a row of twinkling red lights in the shape of hearts.

If the soundcheck was any indication of the audience's reception, things would go perfectly. There was a man, halfway through the row of seating. He was too dark to see but cheering wildly.

"Encore," the man shouted. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

It was Reese. He clamored for more. So, I gave him what he wanted. But, I made him work for it.

"Join me on stage?" I said into the mic.

Reese obliged. Soon, we were standing side by side. I handed him a microphone and whispered the song into his ear.

Reese got into it. At that moment, my life became the musical I always dreamed of. Reese crooned his parts of Baby It's Cold Outside beautifully. Reese, belting with all his heart, smiled as he sang. It made my heart light up like a thousand Christmas trees. I belted right back. We ended the performance with a small standing ovation and a hug. It was magical.

"Your voice sparkles as loudly as your personality," Reese whispered in my ear.

"You're not so bad yourself."

About an hour later, Reese told me to meet him outside the theater. To my surprise, I'm glad I wore jeans. Reese was waiting for me with a chestnut-colored horse. The horse lowered its head, anticipating a petting. How could I resist?

"I thought we were going to dinner?" I asked.

"We are," Reese patted the horse. "But I didn't want to eat at some restaurant. I wanted to take you somewhere special. Ever ridden before?"

I had not. I was scared at first but as we trotted through the city streets I grew comfortable. I probably held Reese too tight, but I wasn't complaining. Even through the denim of his jacket, I could feel his rock-solid stomach. Reese didn't just have nice arms, he was built.

The horse led us through the snowy city towards a path at the edge of town. Large tufts of grass grew out of the snow, crackled from freezing rain. We rode towards a greenhouse at the edge of an icy pond.

The greenhouse was warm. When I walked inside, countless candles danced through the atmosphere. Soft instrumentals were playing. On the riser in the center of the floor, there was a blue and gold blanket. On the blanket was a picnic basket.

"This is beautiful," I turned and pulled Reese into a big hug. "Thank you."

"It's not as glamorous as you, but I wanted to make you feel special," Reese planted his lips in my hair. "If I thought Betty was beautiful, Devon doesn't disappoint."

I felt my cheeks flush. I didn't know what to say. I kept my head tucked in his chest as Reese's warm arms surrounded me.

Next to the picnic, Reese had an old guitar propped on a stand.

"I thought maybe after we ate you could help me with my song?" Reese led me to the blanket.

I sat down next to him. I watched as Reese pulled out a buffet of cheeses, chocolates, and sparkling cider. He poured us both a glass.

"I'm not a lyricist," I took the glass. It was crisp, bubbling, and delicious. It tasted like apples.

"I'm a musician, but sometimes I struggle to find my voice. I want to do this tour so badly but if I can't finish the song I won't have a full set."

"Well, I might not be able to rhyme orange with anything, but I can give it a shot," I smiled at Reese. I couldn't believe he did all this for me. I was starting to wonder if I wasn't trapped in a Hallmark movie. Like Groundhog's day but with more tinsel and trees.

"Devon?" Reese asked me as I took a bite of gruyere.

"Yes," I quickly swallowed. It was very unladylike to talk with your mouth full.

"I know I'm going on tour, and your life is back in Chicago, but do you think we could make this work? I know we just met but I feel like I need you. It's hard to describe but when I saw you on the roadside, something in my heart made me stop. I don't think it was me simply being a nice guy."

I blushed. Needs me? That's a nice change of pace. All the guys back in Chicago only seem to need me for a night before vanishing forever.

"I think," I gave Reese a little boop on the nose, "that if we're meant to be together, it will work itself out."

We drank cider, binged on rich foods, and laughed a lot. I liked Reese. He was a kind-hearted soul who had been burnt. He didn't have to tell me. His lyrics were proof enough.

After we ate, I asked Reese to play me his set. Most of it was an emotional journey through a bad breakup. As Reese strummed out the final note, I cheered and whistled. Reese set down the guitar.

"She might have broken your heart but she blessed your career. I think Adele might have competition for biggest breakup crooner," I patted Reese on the back.

Singing those songs changed Reese's whole demeanor. His shoulder sank. His brown eyes went black. Even his jaw was clenched.

"Sorry," I wrapped my arm around Reese. I rested my head on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to come off so callous. I can tell you're still hurting."

"I'm not hurting because of her," Reese said without looking at me. "I'm hurting because the only music I can find in me comes from her. I wish I could see the muse in a place that isn't toxic."

"I know what you mean," I told Reese. "When I started doing drag, it was purely out of spite. My ex-husband hated drag. He thought it made us look some type of way. When things got bad between us, when I knew there was no going back, I created Betty. A week after my first, terrible performance, Justin handed me divorce papers. Even after all these years, I still can't shake Justin off Betty's shoulders. It sucks."

Reese abruptly stood up. He picked up his guitar and started strumming and humming. Then, his words broke into lyrics:

I feel for you, fell for your lies

Took all the pain

Now you can't even look in my eyes

"That's great," I smiled at Reese, clapping. "Keep going."

But baby I'll come back,

Stronger than ever

Together whenever

But now we're a never

"Great, love the callback to your biggest hit," I shimmied with the music.

So, I met a boy with the heart of a queen

Shows me the things I've never truly seen

A heart of gold, when your heart had grown cold

I think I'll be just fine, move on in time

Okay, I was crying. A handsome country star referencing little old me in his song. I couldn't believe it. The words, the melody, all of it. It was perfect. Exactly what Reese needed to bookend his set. The song was a ray of light after a long, lyrical winter. I couldn't be happier for him.

"I know they won't play this song on country radio," Reese smiled at me, still holding his guitar. "But this is exactly what I needed. Thank you Devon."

"I'm the one who should be thanking you," I giggled. "When that song goes viral, and it will, I can make a TikTok about how I'm the drag queen who inspired it. My followers are about to reach new heights."

Reese set down his guitar. Slowly, he walked towards me. With each step of his boots, my heart fluttered. I knew what was about to happen but I couldn't accept it.

Then, Reese pulled me in. He wrapped his arms around me. We looked into each other's eyes as his head came closer to me. I smelled mint as his breath grazed my lips. Then, he kissed me. At first, it was slow and gentle, then he sucked on my bottom lip.

I'm not going to lie to you. We totally did it, right there in that greenhouse. On the blanket we made love. We accidentally hit the picnic basket and it went flying. Neither of us cared.

Being with Reese was incredible. He was a passionate and giving lover who admired my curves instead of making me feel bad about them. I'm not the type of drag queen to sleep with someone I just met but I had a feeling Reese and I would be making this a reoccurring thing.

The orgasm, the showcase, and Reese's song were big hits. I was even invited back to the showcase to headline for the following year…

I was on stage. I just finished my number. The audience was ecstatic. So many dollars and roses were being tossed at me it was hard to keep up.

Reese was waiting for me backstage. He had a bouquet of roses he handed to me.

"Merry Christmas darling," Reese pecked me on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas," I said to him, pulling Reese into a real kiss.

"I have something for you," Reese reached into his jacket.

He handed me a CD. He was on the cover and looked happy as he sat next to a guitar. The album had a one-word title.

"Betty?" I delighted.

"Yep. I had to name the album after the person who changed my life."

"What's next for us?" I asked Reese.

"Well. I've got a tour and you're moving to Orville to run the weekend drag shows. But, I think we could make the time."

"I think so too," I kissed Reese again. We were standing beneath the mistletoe. It was a holiday rule I wasn't one to break. Especially when I was standing before the man who so graciously named an album after me.

"I have one last surprise," Reese pulled away.

"You do?"

As Reese reached into his pocket, he got down on one knee. With a little black velvet box in hand, Reese asked me to marry him.

And we lived happily ever after.

I hope you enjoyed my cozy Christmas romance. I appreciate your time and hope you had fun. As always, reviews, comments, tips, and pledges are always appreciated. Feel free to share with someone who you think would enjoy this story.