A Cold Dark Night

“All Aboard!! Last call for 3rd class aboard the Titanic!”, shouts the crew member on deck.

“Mamma! Mamma! Hurry up! We are going to miss the ship!”

“Coming dear! Your brother almost got away from me.”

“Papa, look at it! The ship, it’s so big! It’s amazing!”

“It certainly is Jonna. Now when we get on, we will have to be assessed by the physician. But don’t worry, it’s just to make sure we aren’t going to bring any diseases on board.”

“Diseases? What are those?”

“Like lice or remember when Cousin Gunther got those red bumps all over that itched really bad?”

“Yeah! He had the chicken pots!”

Jonna’s father chuckled, “Pox, chicken pox my dear.”

Jonna looks all over her body. “But I don’t have any of those Papa.”

“I know dear but the people on the ship do not. Now they may not speak Svenska so don’t be scared. They won’t hurt you. Just stay calm and do your best to follow their guidance.”

“Okej Papa, will they check Johann too?”

“Yes, myself and your Mamma too.”

“I bet Johann has lice, he’s so yucky!” Jonna giggles.

Her mother, Elin, giggles with her as she walks up holding Johann.

“If Johann has lice, then so do you”, she says as she tickles Jonna on the neck.

They all begin to laugh and walk towards the new beginning they’ve been working so hard for.

The Andersson’s are heading to Boston. Gustaf Andersson has gotten a job as a train conductor thanks to his brother in laws, Victor. He’s spent every bit of his savings to buy tickets for the Titanic to get there. Tired of working the iron ore mines in the north of Sweden for little money, he, along with his wife Elin decided taking a chance on America was the right next step. So, Gustaf, 36, Elin 30, Jonna, 7, and Johann, 2 1/2, sold everything they owned, which was not much, and headed for America.

“Mamma, why do we have to share our rooms with strangers and why can’t Papa stay with us?”

“Well Jonna, some people don’t have 4 in a family and that means maybe a family of 3 would have 1 stranger in their room too and it wouldn’t be appropriate for the men to see all the ladies getting dressed.”

“But Johann’s a boy and he gets to stay with us.”

“That’s because he is still too young and needs his mother. If he was a few years older, he would be with Papa.”

“I wish I was with Papa.”

“I know dear. Look why don’t you go play with that little girl over there. She looks your age and I bet she would love a new friend to play with.”

“Okej”

Jonna walks over to the little girl with brown curly hair and brown eyes sitting quietly with her doll.

“Hej!”

“Bonjour”

“Bonjour. You speak French?!”

“Oui. I am from Lyon, France.”

“Mamma! She speaks French!”

“Perfect darling, a good way to practice your French as well!”

She turns back to the little girl. “We speak French too!”

Elin’s mother was from Nice and her father from Stockholm, so she grew up speaking both French and Svenska. She taught it to Jonna as soon as she began talking.

“Je m’appelle Jonna. Que lest votre nom?”

“Je m’appelle Felicite.”

“Want to go check out the rest of the ship?”

“Oui. Have you seen the toilettes yet?”

“No, why?”

“They flush all on their own!”

“I’ve never heard such a thing! Is it magic?”

“It must be. At home, our toilettes are outside, or we use a chamber pot. And we must use a well to get water. They have water coming out of the walls here!”

“We have the same. Let’s go check it out!”

They run off to check out the restrooms and played with the toilets until they were laughing so hard their sides hurt. After they had enough of the toilets, they went to look around the dining area.

“Wow! There are so many tables in here!”, exclaimed Jonna.

“How many people do you think can sit in here at one time?”

“Probably thousands”

Jonna and Felicite ran around in both dining rooms with the long tables playing hide and seek under the tables. They talked about what they might eat while they were on the ship and wondered what people in first and second class might eat. Discussing what they thought being in America for the first time would be like and wondered if anyone would speak their languages.

“Let’s go outside”, Jonna said as she jogged off, Felicite right behind her.

Outside they could see the open ocean ahead and the port in Southhampton, England behind them getting smaller and smaller as they drifted away.

“The air smells like salt and fish”, Felicite said.

“It reminds me of Stockholm. My Mamma and Papa would take me there to visit my grandmother in the summer. It was nice to get away from the north sometimes and there was always so many more people in Stockholm.”

“Jonna! Jonna is that you over there?”, Gustaf yelled.

“Hej Papa! It’s me! This is my friend Felicite. She is staying in the room with Mamma, me, and Johann. She is from France.”

“Ah Oui? Bonjour Felicite”

“Bonjour Monsieur Andersson”

“Why don’t you girls go wash up, it’s almost time for supper.”

“Okej Papa, see you at supper!”

Jonna and Felicite head back to their room where their mothers are sitting chatting about why they are moving to America and Johann plays with his wooden truck toy.

“Hej girls, did you both have fun checking out the ship?”

“Oh yes!”, they both exclaimed at the same time.

“We saw Papa on deck, and he said it is almost time for supper so we should get washed up.”

“Yes, it is, our supper slot is for 1800 so we have 45 minutes.”

“Maman, can we sit with Jonna and her family?”, Felicite asks her mother.

“Oui Oui mon cheri”, replied Marie.

“Merci Beacoup Maman!”

The girls got washed up and changed into their dresses for supper. Jonna wearing bright blue and a pink bow and Felicite wearing a lilac color with her curls, unable to be subdued, held back with a matching lilac hair scarf. Jonna admired Felicite’s hair while wishing her very straight blonde hair would look like hers. The girls chatted about their adventure across the Atlantic and told stories of sea monsters and mermaids while they waited for their mothers and Johann to get ready.

At 6:00p.m. they all walked into the dining area and sat down for supper. The adults discussed the countries they had left and what they were looking forward to when they got to America. Meanwhile the children told stories of their friends back home and their fears of not being able to make new friends in a new country. After supper, everyone went into the general room where they danced to the music someone was playing on the piano until it was time to go to bed.

For the next 4 days Jonna, her family, and their newfound friends shared their meals together, took long walks on the deck, played games, and would dance the night away. Their lodgings might not have been as regal as first or second class, but they had never traveled in so much comfort before. They wondered if America would offer them the same comfort they were experiencing now.

It is past midnight on April 15, 1912, Jonna is jolted awake by a stewardess knocking very loudly on the door.

“Everyone please evacuate your room and head to the main deck!”

Then she was gone. I looked over to see if Mamma or Johann were awake and they were both looking at the door, a look of confusion on their faces. I ran to the door, opened it, and saw the stewardess going down the hall knocking on every door yelling the same thing. Papa was walking towards me, he didn’t look scared, but he did have a bit of a furrow on his brow. The look he usually has when he is thinking about what to do.

“Papa! What was that lady yelling about?”

“She says we must leave our rooms and go out on the main deck.”

Luckily one of the men in the room with Papa speaks English and could tell us what the stewardess had said.

“Is there something wrong Papa?”

“I’m not sure Jonna, no one knows what is going on and the stewardess said nothing else.”

We go into the room and tell Mamma and Ms. Marie and Felicite what the stewardess has said. As we are walking down the hall to head upstairs, I notice that some people are just standing there doing nothing. Papa is trying to speak to them, but they don’t seem to speak Svenska or French. They also don’t speak English as Mr. Jarl tries to communicate with them. Papa tries to gesture to them to follow us with his hands, but they all just stand there refusing to move. We must keep moving so we leave them behind. As we get to the main deck it appears that everyone on the entire ship is up here. They are loading people onto the little boats that are hanging on the side of the ship. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Why are the people getting onto these little ships so late at night? And why is the band playing music up here while they do it? Papa tells us to stay here while him and Mr. Jarl try to figure out what is going on.

“Mamma, is something bad happening?”

“I don’t know dear, no one looks panicked, but I can’t understand what anyone is saying.”

“Qu’est-ce qui se passe?”, asks Marie.

“Je ne sais pas, I cannot understand what anyone is saying but Gustaf went to find out.”, says Elin.

“Allons-nous mourir Maman?”, asks Felicite.

“Non, non mon cheri! This is a new and very strong ship, I’m sure we will be just fine!”

I see Papa coming back towards us, he doesn’t look so worried.

“There apparently was a small accident with the ship so we just must get onto the lifeboats until they can check it out and make sure it is safe to remain here. I’m sure it will only take a couple hours then we can go back to bed.”

We stand on the deck quietly listening to the music and waiting our turn to get on the lifeboats. Suddenly there is a loud “BOOM” sound, and I can feel the ship shake.

“Papa! What was that?”

“I don’t know but it sounded like an explosion of some sort.”

“Gustaf! I just was looking over the edge and it appears the ship is sinking”, exclaims Mr. Jarl.

“What are we going to do Gustaf?”, asks Elin.

“Calm down Elin, we will wait our turn and get on a lifeboat. All will be well.”

“But Mr. Andersson, There is only 2 lifeboats left and there are so many people still on deck.”, says Felicite.

“One of the crew members just said that the rescue ship is just a few miles out so for those of us who cannot fit onto a lifeboat, we will just wait and get onto the rescue ship when it gets here.”, says Mr. Jarl.

“You see girls, we will be just fine. The ship is brand new and will hold until we get onto the other ship.”

As we wait for the rescue ship, Felicite and I begin to get scared. Papa says we shouldn’t worry but I can’t see another ship coming and all the lifeboats are gone now. I don’t want to get into the cold water. I don’t want to drown. What if we all drown? The front of the ship is quickly sinking lower and lower. Papa has a look of panic in his eyes as he quickly starts putting life jackets on all of us.

“Now Jonna, Felicite, this ship is sinking very quickly. We are going to go all the way to the back and hold on very tightly to the rails for as long as possible. When I tell you to jump, I’m going to need you to jump into the water.”

“But its freezing in there!”, Jonna and Felicite exclaim at the same time.

“I know girls. It is very cold. But when this ship goes down, it is going to suck us down with it. I need you to survive. We all must survive. Our only option is to jump and try and swim as far away as possible before we get taken under.”

“Papa I’m so scared,” cries Jonna.

“I know Jonna. Papa is scared too. But you must stay focused on surviving. Even if you can’t see Mamma or me or Johann. You just keep swimming until you are far away. We will find you.”

“Mamma, please don’t let me go!”, Jonna is crying holding onto Elin’s legs.

“Oh Jonna, I’m right here darling, I won’t ever leave you. Now don’t forget what Papa has said. We are all scared but right now we must be brave. Can you be brave Jonna?”

“Yes Mamma, I’ll be brave.”

As I cling to Mamma, Papa is holding Johann in one hand and holding Mamma’s hand in the other. Felicite is holding her mother’s hand and walks over to me to hold my hand. We all take a deep breath and then start to head towards the back of the ship. It happens so fast I can hardly know what I am looking at. We are all holding onto the rails as the front end of the ship completely goes under and the back end begins to rise out of the water. Then suddenly there is a “SNAP” and the ship cracks in half. There is a huge jolt as the back-end lands hard back on the water. Then I hear Papa yelling.

“Jump now everyone! Jump!”

I go to jump but Papa has not jumped yet, so I hold on. I watch amazed as Mamma jumps in with Johann, Ms. Marie with Felicite, and then Mr. Jarl by himself. Papa is yelling at me, but I don’t know what to do. I just stare at the ocean and then back at him.

“Jonna jump in the water! Jonna! Jonna! Are you listening?! Jump in!”

Papa grabs my arms and wrenches them loose then throws me in the water. I scream all the way down then land hard into water that feels like the lake in the north of Sweden in the middle of winter. It feels like I’ve just been stabbed with tiny knives all over my body and I can’t breathe. I look up from under the water and see someone jumping right on top of me. They grab me and drag me to the surface where the cold air hits me in the face. It’s Papa.

“Breathe Jonna, breathe! For Christ’s sake breath child!”, Gustaf almost chokes in between words as the water rushes up and over his face.

Gasping, I finally catch my breath enough to speak.

“Papa! I love you, Papa! Where is Mamma and Johann?”

“I don’t know, I can’t see them, but we must start swimming now Jonna! Remember you must keep swimming and don’t look back! If we get separated, I will find you later”

“Okej Papa”

I start swimming as hard as I can, the farther I get the harder it is. I feel like the water is pulling me back and under. But I keep going and I don’t look back. I’ve been swimming for a very long time, and I haven’t heard Papa for a while. I don’t feel the water pulling me under anymore, so I take a chance and look back, although Papa said not to. I don’t see the ship anymore. I also don’t see Papa. I yell out for him but all I can hear back are the screams of all the other people in the water. I don’t know how I will be able to hear him. I turn around and keep swimming. He said he would find me so I will keep going.

“Jonna! Jonna!”

I hear someone yelling my name, it sounds like Johann, but I can’t see him. I begin to swim towards the sound and then I see him. He’s with Mamma. She looks funny. Her eyes are closed, and her face looks very blue. I swim up to them and grab Johann. He hugs my neck and begins to cry so loudly I can’t think. I begin shaking Mamma.

“Mamma! Mamma! Open your eyes Mamma! Please Mamma open your eyes!”

She doesn’t move.

“Mamma! Oh god, Mamma! Please! Why won’t you wake up Mamma!”, Jonna gasps between sobs.

I hold onto Mamma. I know being cold can make you sleepy sometimes. I will stay beside her until someone finds us. When she gets warm, she will wake back up. We float there for a very long time. It’s cold, so cold, but I don’t think I can feel my body anymore. Maybe I’ve just gotten used to it. I hear someone crying out not far from me.

“Maman, Maman! Pourquoi dormez-vous?! Reveillez-vous Maman!”, Felicite yells.

It sounds like Felicite. I must find her. I lay on my back while holding onto Johann in one hand and Mamma in the other. She’s very heavy. I’m not sure I can swim far but I must help Felicite, so I keep moving.

I finally reach her, and her mother looks like Mamma. She has her eyes closed and her face looks very blue. I tell her it’s okay. They are just cold and sleepy, when they rescue us they will warm them up and they will wake back up. We sit there in the water for longer still holding onto our mothers and Johann. Johann begins to get sleepy too and is turning blue.

“Johann! Johann! Stay awake for me Johann!”

But he cannot keep his eyes open, and he is so very cold. Just like Mamma and Ms. Marie. I still have not seen or heard Papa. I feel like I don’t know what is going on anymore. Why are we in this water? How long have we been here? Where is my Papa? Felicite doesn’t seem to know the answer to any of my questions either. She looks sleepy too. I am sleepy. Maybe if we just shut our eyes for a moment and go to sleep, we will wake up back on the ship. This is just a dream.

“Over there! Look! There are 3 children!”, yells a crew member.

I heard someone yelling. I open my eyes and look around. I am surprised to see that I am still in the water. A dream I thought. I am still holding onto Mamma and Johann. They are both so cold, and blue, and not moving. I look over and shake Felicite. She jumps, frightened. She is still holding on to Ms. Marie who is still not moving. We see a light in the distance and hear someone shouting. Then a little boat appears with two strange men looking at us, saying things I can’t understand.

“Come girls, get in the boat!”

I look at them trying to understand what they are saying when one reaches down and picks me up by my life jacket and puts me in the boat. The other grabs Felicite. I sit and wait for them to grab Mamma and Johann. They start to turn the boat around.

“Sluta! Sluta! Vi maste hamta Mamma och Johann!”, Jonna screams.

“Arret! Arret! Nous devons aller chercher maman!”, yells Felicite.

They just keep going. I don’t understand why they won't stop. Why are they leaving them there! One looks back at me and says something.

“I’m sorry girls but they are dead.”

I don’t understand what he says but the look on his face tells me I won’t ever see Mamma or Johann again. I grab Felicite and we hold each other and sob while the boat drives further into the cold dark night.