24 of 50 Songs and Chapters Dedicated to the Friend I Lost Too Soon

"How was your date?"

The grand clock struck midnight. In the fairy tales, that's when all the magic disappears, and surprisingly my reality of today didn't turn out much different, though I didn't have much of this 'magic' to begin with. It just got consistently worse.

Speaking in the dark, that is, besides the lamp by his bulky chair that I turned on timely, the door creaked its way open and I could see Jewee's silhouette. As often as that stands for an upcoming lash-out in the movies where mom's scold their child who came home passed curfew, I meant it as a joke. Nothing Talia said to me was meant to strike me this deep.

And that joke aged like milk instead of wine.

"How did you know about that?" He replied, flicking on the overhead lights from the switch beside the front door. As serious as he was about his response, and as intrigued he was that I brought it up, the agitation of wearing a tie and his button done all the way up to the top, took half of his attention until he could undo it back to comfort. How he could still look like a daisy after being out all day, I'll never know. I didn't do anything all day and I long for a mattress.

But that's beside the point. It's his words that were the big deal now. What was supposed to be light and funny was no longer light and funny.

I became stern. "Talia stopped by here. She told me. She wasn't joking? She wasn't just trying to get to get to me?"

"Well, no-- she wasn't joking. I mean, yes, she was, or-- I can explain. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, okay? We were starting to trust each other, Shyne, -- I don't have to worry all over again about you starting rumors, do I?"

"I don't know. Maybe," I crossed my right leg over my left, relaxing to show off a more disgraceful attitude on that he would have to put up with, rather than sit around with. "Explain, Gray. Isn't that what you were saying you were gonna do?"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm getting there, Princess," he insisted. He laid back into the nearest chair to the door, leaning against it out of exhaustion. It could be considered rude to challenge him when he was in a condition like that, but to be fair, he's put me through some things and I have never been in as good of a condition as he was. I think what I'm doing can be justified.

And so I waited -- waited for him to give me as I wanted, and what he promised he would say. If he were standing, he'd be pacing, but because he was sitting, it just made him scramble around different positions in his seat, awkwardly, and oddly that made me more interested in the answer.

I have the capability to terrify them this badly, for what? Does he think I could beat him up with my bare hands?

Because that'd be cool if he did. It'd be cool to say he's trapped himself in his rambling because of me.

"I went to the event this morning like I told you I would. I was also very nervous, as I also told you I was, and when I got there the entire cast -- side characters, extras and everything were all there, but what happened is once we got mildly acquainted with someone we stuck to them, and for me that was this extra that's only going to be in the movie for like five minutes. Talia and I never had a chance to talk, besides a quick greeting if I remember right, and that's why I invited her out for drinks after it was done. It was originally here at the house, but I wasn't comfortable with it. The point is, we need to get to know each other or everything has certainty to fail. 'Date' can have several meanings. In a sense, I guess it was a date, but it's not meant to be anything special. It's for the movie."

"So why the big deal if it's just for the movie?" I sighed, bored out of my mind. I probably wouldn't have liked to hear drama, but hearing this didn't give me any reason to stick around. I headed to my room to pass out for the night.

Jewee's hand pulled me back by the wrist, forcing me to face him, but instantly he got antsy. "It's not a big deal. I'm not making it a big deal. You're the one making it a big deal."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes--."

"Shut up! You don't have to be all anxious if it's not that deep. That's on you."

"I told you I was nervous."

"Still suspicious if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you." He made me follow him back toward the center of the living room. "If you have the energy to argue, you have the energy to work, so let's get some stuff done, shall we? Live the life you've been wanting to entirely -- pros and cons together -- which includes pulling all nighters."

I sat back down. "Fine, but that doesn't mean this conversation is over. We can talk while we work. I'm not letting you change the subject like that. You're not getting out of this until I can get to the bottom of why you're being so weird about it."

"I didn't say you had to stop. Look into me. Background check me like I've broken the law. I don't care, Shyne, as long as you can multi-task it with what we have to do." He bobbed his head to follow him up the stairs, back up into his daunting room that last time made me lose control of my feelings, and that I woke up to him bolting the next morning. I was hesitant to go back in there when I knew the connection we were creating was heading back to the hate side of the coin rather than the love of it, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I followed him like I didn't have to think twice. Like the ill-feeling in my gut wasn't there.

"Pull up a chair. We have to get this done in three, four, five days? I don't know." His voice came about without a face for a while, as he beat me to the room, paper spread all across his desk already, once again. I was getting used to that sight, but I didn't know how to feel about him being so ahead of me to get started. Was that because he was stressed about it or because he wanted something else to focus on so it wouldn't have to be me?

"Okay," is the most I said. I didn't ask anything regardless of how much I wondered. Rather, I listened to what he told me to do, grabbing a folding chair he had up against the wall on the opposite end, and bringing it over. It was clear fairly rapid that his desk had space for one person and plenty more, you would think, but not enough for two.

I was cramped elbow to elbow with a man that I, out of the blue, wasn't getting along with. If this was another day, I would have had to refrain from making out with him on the spot, but with no grounds to do such, and with tension boiling back in between us, it was going to be uncomfortable to simply exist this close to him. Every time our knees or our shoulders would graze each other, there was no way I wasn't going to notice.

I could smell the shampoo he uses, side by side like this. Information that I can do nothing with.

Yet he went on like normal. "If you have questions please just ask them. Be modest enough to do that because then we get over hurdles a whole lot quicker. Yes, getting it done well is more important than getting it done fast, but if both are possible, then why not?"

"Understood," I nodded. I tried to act normal, but it was nothing in comparison to how well he was doing at it. Curse me for being randomly formal. It's unlike me, but he's able to act so him all the time, no matter what. I have to say something. I have to go back to what we were talking about a moment ago so I can feel like I have a little bit of control over myself. Something that I could work with.

Jewee got right into the pile of paper, attacking it like there was no tomorrow. I thought about what I was going to do about what this situation was becoming, and how he was getting what he wanted with the shift of topic that he got done so swiftly, that what he was explaining went further over my head than it would originally. This was the behind the scenes of a movie, the process that it took to get to the final product, which was all most people thought about. That stacked up against his soothing voice began to pluck at an exhaustion I didn't know I had.

He was wrong. Just because I had the energy to argue with him did not mean I had the energy to work, but I had to keep myself awake. I had to keep him on his toes.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

He was already looking at me. I could recognize the meaning behind his tone, but the words -- I couldn't puzzle any of them together to make sense of it. All I knew was that he was staring at me, and that he had most definitely asked me a question, but about what? I couldn't know.

I shook my head, trying to snap my head awake. "What?" I had to ask, finally. There was a slight pause in between his last word and my first one, because I was hoping to find a way I could cover up my daze, but to no avail.

Jewee buried his head into his face. "Really, Shyne? You're the one who insisted on getting into all this business, and since you had a further head start on when it should've been revealed to you, you should know more about this by now. Do you want your movie to come out or not? Because you're acting like this is a waste of time, and I'm not here for it."

"Jeez," I rolled my eyes, putting the pressure back on him instead of me. It wasn't the kindest thing to do, but I was tired of being pinned down.

"Go easy on me, Turd. It's your own damn fault that you voice makes people go to sleep. You're setting this up for failure that way. Besides, me not being able to do this is a given. It's my first time. I might know a little here and there but at the end of the day, I'm a rookie. You? You've done this before and you're freaking out because of the chemistry you're lacking with your co-star, that got so far out of hand that she hunt me down and got me involved. Whose in more of a rut here? You or me? The whole world is going to see your chemistry. They can care less about my low IQ when it comes to paperwork. You were out with her for five or six hours. What'd you learn about her? Anything?"

Jewee sighed, thinking back over his night. "Not really," he admitted, shamefully. "We met up, but I still only know basically what the casting directors know. She's good for the role, your role, and I can't really put into words how or why I know that, but I am pretty certain that they made a good choice. The two of your have your similarities, especially when it comes to your background and how you grew up. She's a good representative in Hollywood of the Asian-American community and can stand for the children of immigrants, but she carries this aura that's harder to get close to than the one you carry, and trust me, I'm trying, but it's not as easy as you'd think."

I raised my eyebrows. "You know what I think this calls for?"

"What?"

"A party."

"A party? Where?"

"Here."

Jewee stood up in detest, his office chair rolling back against the wall. "No way, Shyne. I don't know how to host a party. I can go to other people's parties, by all means, but hosting one takes a lot of work, and contrary to popular belief, I'm quite the introvert. What would that gain us, anyway?"

"I want to see you're not hiding anything from me. I want to understand why you're so anxious. We're friends, and nobody likes a liar, you know? And at the same time, we don't want our friends to go through hard things they don't have to. Bring them here for a mellow party. It doesn't have to be big. It just has to get you out of your shell. Get you the closeness that you need to make this project good. It's not just for me either. Sometimes being on your own turf makes you more free-spirited, and maybe that's what you need. Doesn't filming start soon?"

"I hate to admit this, but you have a point, Jaiva Shyne." He massages his temples, eyes shut, and yawns briefly. "Let's finish all of this before sunrise, and I'll consider. Game?"

I smirk. "Game." I say, because I already know darn well I'm going to be part of a Kyler party.

And I'll get to see what the prissy girl thinks she has the right to be proud of.

I'll catch that woman standing on the ground, while she acts like she's flying up in the heavens.

Hello there, Talia Rodrigo. How truthful are you?