130 The Jury's Out

It was the trial of the millennium: the People of Natchitoches, LA, vs Josiah Rebuson. After the defense rested, the jury retired to deliberate. That was over 30 years ago. No hung jury. No mistrial. Not even an inability to agree on a verdict--just the inability to do it in a reasonable amount of time.

Rebuson's public defenders, the law firm of Goatsky and Lambsky, weren't any good at defending people, but they were considered geniuses at picking juries. They leaned heavily on the unemployable who had everything to gain in making $50/day-- indefinitely. And by now, each had accrued over $375,000; and with no time to spend it, except on weekends when they had to cram in a whole week's worth of domestic obligations. It piled up.

The Journal of Public Defenders reported that there were over 200 trials still in deliberation under Goatsky & Lambsky representation--thousands of jurors in perennial deliberation.

It was easy work. Air-conditioning. Breakfasts, lunches. Even hot suppers at times. They were sequestered at the local 3-star hotel in town, enjoying room service and bar fridges. They frequented crime scenes in fancy motor coaches.

There were juror workplace romances, resulting in twelve "jury children." No one quite knows how, but some jurors served at more than one trial at a time, qualifying them for time-and-a-half.

Goatsky & Lambsky--G&L--often went on month-long vacations when their juries deliberated. Goatsky had even taken around-the-world cruises; Lambsky had chemo and radiation for cancer. Still, the jury remained "out."

Josiah Rebuson had been indicted on "conspiracy," which is how prosecutors catch people when they don't have any actual evidence.

That's it.

Decades in waiting, all media swarmed the courthouse when, increduously, it was announced, "The jury has reached a verdict."

It didn't go Rebuson's way.

"What now?" he asked.

"Well, Josiah," Lambsky answered, dripping with Southern charm, "how old are you?"

"76. Why?"

"The judge's gonna let you stay out on appeal."

"That's great!" Rebuson laughed, sputtered, and hacked.

"Appeals take forever working their way through the system."

Josiah hugged Lambsky, then asked, "Am I responsible for the jurors' unemployment?"

"Unemployment?! Dang, Josiah. We're talking pension for them. Me, too."

"Milk the system, Lambsky--you da man!"

__________

For Thursday, May 9, Day 130 of the Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

All pictures are AI-generated, but the verdict is not!

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