124 — Cold Calling
For Friday, May 3: Day 124 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge, #124
"Hello. Is this Geraldo?"
"No, it's Gerard. Who's calling?"
"Hello, Gerald. Don't let the accent fool you; my name is, um, Eddie. I'm calling because you've been pre-approved for a low promotional interesting credit card."
"What's the interest, Eddie?
"Huh? Who?"
"Eddie--you!"
Thank you for that, Jerry. Yes. I'm Eddie. The interested rate is very exciting, because it's actually a minus interest rate. The more you charge, the less you have to pay. Sound of interest to you?"
"Sounds too good to be true."
"And too true, George. May I have your Social Security number?"
"Why do you need that?"
"Just a routine credit check."
"Why does my credit need to be checked if I'm going to get paid with minus interest for charging things?"
"Oh, you know, all routine."
[CLICK]
"Hello, is this Mary?"
"Actually, my name is Mary-Anne."
"Thank you for that information, Marian. My name is, um, Freddy. Could I interests you in a lifetime supply for free gasoline?"
"I drive an EV, Freddy."
"Who? Oh, yes, I am Eddie."
"I thought it was Freddy."
"Yes--Freddy. Well then, would you been interesting in a lifetime supply of electricity? Please, just given me your Social Security number and I'll see if your number quantifies."
[CLICK]
"Hello, Dick."
"It's Richard."
"OK, Rick. My name is, um, well, it's Dick, too! How ya like that?"
"Dick, you called me. Tell me what you're calling for."
"Well, Ricky, I've been directed to notify you of an incredible offer you quantified for."
"I'm listening."
"I'm the conservative for a considerative amounts of money, but I need someone to accept it into their bank account. We've got to move it for taxing reasons."
"How much?"
"$30 million."
"Tell me more."
"Just give me your bank's routing and account numbers and your Social Security number and I can transfer the money wiki wiki."
"Right now?"
"Yes, while you're on my phone with you."
"OK, ready?"
[The information is given.]
"Perfect. Please hold."
---
"Mr. Burubu!" Asmir shouted, "Mr. Dick's given me all the information we need!"
"That's great, Asmir!"
"OK, so what do I do now?"
"Make the transfer. That's what we promised."
"If only more people would believe me."
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
For Friday, May 3, Day 124 of the Story-a-Day Challenge. Now well into triple digits!
366 WORDS (without A/N)
All pictures are AI-generated, but the exciting offers are not.
---
There are currently three Vocal creators still participating in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:
• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator
• Rachel Deeming
• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)
PLEASE SUPPORT THEM BY READING THEIR DAILY SUBMISSIONS
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. In Life Phase II: Living and writing from a decommissioned church in Hull, MA. (Phase I was New Orleans and everything that entails. Hippocampus, behave!
https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
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Comments (5)
This is a special kind of crazy, Gerard! Loved the illustrations too!
Well-wrought! "There's a sucker born every minute."
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! That last call made me laugh so much 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We've all had these calls!
Amusing because it is uncannily verisimilar!