Why My Father Is My Superhero

Every daughter needs a father, for a million reasons. Father's are our biggest mentors. Father's are our biggest confidants. Fathers show us the type of men that we deserve in our life. Fathers sometimes tell us things we don't want to hear for our own good, which is likely to come out harsh and blunt. They don't mean to come across mean but us girls are pig-headed. Sometimes, it needs to be blunt to get the message through, even if it hurts our feelings. Emotions sometimes get in the way of good judgment, and that is a dad's only con to his job.

Us girls are a handful for our dads, and we know it. We know how to push dad's buttons, get on their nerves, and pull their heartstrings. If mom says no, we ask dad so he can get into trouble for saying yes. When we have a seemingly impossible problem, we know dad can find a way and fix it. Dads are a daughter's best friend.

As a 23-year-old woman with a daughter of my own, I am seeing things in a much different light. The way that she interacts with her 'Papi' reminds me a lot of how our relationship was growing up, especially in my teenage years. I remember how much hell he went through trying to keep me from dark paths and twisty roads.

The Back Story

My mother started dating a really nice guy, who was nothing like my 'real' dad' (that's what I called my biological father at the time) who still had visitation at the time when I was nine-years-old. I remember him always wanting to teach me something new. I never realized he truly was preparing me for real life. This man became my best friend a short few months after my mom had been dating him. After he moved in, he didn't change who he was.

He still played with me, along with my young-toddler brother (he acquired quite a few blows to the nuts from the little fellow). He woke me up for school in the mornings and drove me, insisting that he didn't want me walking half a mile at ten-years-old. He didn't freak out or get mad at me when my biological father made me flip him the bird as we pulled out of the driveway. He took me to counseling every month. That's when it happened.

Level-Up

I called him dad. The word slipped out effortlessly. I just remember thinking to myself, This is what having a dad feels like. My eyes welled up with tears, and I think his might have too. "What did you say?" He asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly. I went to get out of the car and he asked again. So, I told him. He gave me a huge hug and told me he loved me and sent me inside. After that, we were pretty inseparable. He was always available to talk to me about my personal fears, my issues, my aspirations, and dreams, and he always gave me solutions when he could and supported me the whole way through. Unfortunately, as a hard-headed ass, I didn't listen to his advice most of the time, which always ended up being an, 'I told you so' moment later.

The Abandoned Void

My father abandoned me at 11-years-old, telling me that he was just done seeing me. I was beyond myself and got very depressed. Luckily, I seemed to recover fairly quickly, due to the undying, loving support of my mom and my step-dad (which I no longer refer to his as, so for the duration of this article, he will simply be the dad).

He was as understanding and supportive of a dad as he could be, abruptly being shoved into the role of being the full-time father to a wayward 11-year-old. He did his best to fill the void, and he succeeded in time. I no longer felt that I didn't have a father. I had the best dad in the world.

Guys, if you're in this position, don't give up. It takes time to build that relationship and you can't force it.

Loving the Wild Child

Growing up, I was a wild child. I didn't listen, I was extremely melodramatic (you'd think I would've been an actress all my life), and had tons of personal, emotional problems. Any other father in his position may have given up. After all, he chose to be a part of my life, he wasn't forced. He wasn't bound to love me like his own child. I literally could have been nothing to him. But, despite all of my childish antics and dramatic performances (including holding on the banister as he tries to pry me off to take me to school), his love was unconditional.

He always tried to talk to me, and treat every problem and concern of mine as a legitimate concern instead of childish rants. When we fought, he would walk away to another room, calm down, and come back calmer. He would always make a point to apologize for his part and I'd apologize for mine. He taught me to always be accountable for my actions.

He has defended my name and well-being and supported me through rough times. He has always been available when I need him, even now, and always makes time for me. He has my back, gives great advice, and supports whatever I want to do in my life.

Here are a few reasons that my dad is my superhero:

1) He supports me.

No matter how far-fetched my dreams seem to be, my dad is the one person I can always count on to take me seriously and give me good feedback. He sincerely has confidence in me, which gives me confidence in myself.

2) He taught me coping skills.

When I feel overwhelmed and like tearing my hair out, my dad has taught me how to calm myself down. I have learned how to cope with anger and anxiety, things I never knew how to cope with before.

3) He points out when I'm wrong.

No one likes to hear that they're wrong. But, when my dad tells me that I'm wrong, I am sincerely interested in what he has to say. Ninety-nine percent of the time, he's right, after all. It would be dumb not to. He's never rude about it, and always gives good advice on the direction that I'm trying to take. His alternatives are always well-thought out and they've worked on numerous, tough occasions.

4) He taught me to be self-reliant.

Among millions of other things, my dad has taught me how to get rid of my gullible attitude. He has taught me to wear my heart on my sleeve, but not to be fooled by deceit. My dad has taught me to how to find a way while struggling and be modest when we're well-off. My father is a truly great man, with a heart of gold and fists of steel.

5) He showed me to be good to others.

My dad is the nicest man in the world. One of the greatest values that he instilled in me was to be good and understanding to others. Helping others out isn't to make yourself good, it's to assist someone who is struggling. My father is a modest, honest and good-hearted man, and I am grateful and lucky to have obtained even a sliver of this gift.

6) He taught me to defend myself.

My father is a man of many trades. On top of his extensive musical capabilities, immaculate artistry, and engineer knowledge, he is also trained in various martial arts. He has taught all three of his children basic defense skills to ensure that they will always be protected. He is a man who, not always thinks ahead, but thinks ahead for himself and others.

He taught me how to be me.

The most important thing my dad ever taught me was how to be myself. I was so unsure of who I was, or where to start in my life. He has always led me in the right direction, not just for him, but for me. He aims to make his children as happy as they can be and that's why he's a superhero!

My father is a lover and a fighter. He has fought me on many stupid things and we have laughed over them. He has loved me despite horrible things that I have done and I am forever grateful for that. My father is my superhero, and there is no one in this world who could have filled the void quite as well <3