Why Do Some Families Repeat Older Generations Mistakes?

Families can be the best thing in your life when you're younger. How you cherish your mom and your dad. You want to spend every day with them. Do adult things if it means being by their side. As we get older we finally come into our own and pull away from being so attached.

I used to be daddies girl. Went everywhere with my father. We would go to the junkyard together, and on drug runs together, (even though I did not know that was what he was doing at the time, I just was with my daddy and I was happy.)

Even as I got older I still was daddy's girl until when dating men came into the scene it breaks daddy's heart. So we naturally pulled away from one another.

Now, this maybe is something typical of other families or at least something close to it. But in my family, I have talked about history repeating itself before and now that I dig further I have noticed that the bad parts are also repeating.

In my last post, I talked about my daughter having my first and only grandchild. Her birth was exactly like my birth of her. I was in labor for many hours before finally, a c-section had to be done.

There is a lot more I have noticed that is repeating itself. Things with my siblings are the same thing that happened with my mother and her siblings. I being the youngest, do so many of the same things my aunt does and she is the youngest.

Over the years my siblings and I have grown apart, very apart. It all started after my father had passed. My mother was already gone many years by this point. My father owned the house he lived in and my sister was the only married one and married to a man that worked for the county. (so he made very good money.) She purchased the house.

We almost lost the house because my father took a reverse mortgage out days before he passed and they wanted their money back yesterday. They were not waiting. We had to buy the house now or lose the house. My brother was living with my dad at the time, rent-free.

He continued to live rent-free not caring my sister had her bills to pay on the house too. She had not charged him for months until he moved his girlfriend(now wife). My sister then wanted to charge them rent.

The house needed major work done. The bathroom toilet was about to fall through the floor. The bathroom sink did not work. The kitchen sink barely worked. The carpet has been in there for close to 30–40 years and has never been cleaned. Told my sister she had to fix things before charging rent. The windows were drafty windows with one pane of glass. Very old windows.

I use to help my landlord run the apartments she owned. Copy paperwork off for evictions and 15-day notices. I learned a few things working there. My sister knew this. I sent her to a site that helps tenants and landlords. She never looked at it once. Never believed me I was too young to know anything.

This started the fight between her and me. We did not speak for years. We talked for a few months and forget what started us not talking again, but it has been close to 10 years maybe since we talked. My brother won't speak to me because I spoke to my sister. Thinking I was on her side and I was never on her side little does he know.

He couldn’t even come to my wedding because his wife would not let him. It has also been close to 10 years since I spoke to him. This is the same thing with my mother and her siblings.

My one aunt's husband tried to rape my other aunt. She kept quiet for years. That is something hard to hold in. Years later she mentioned it and my aunt said so what it has been so long leave it alone and refused to speak to her for over 40+ years now. Would not even allow her sister to her husband’s funeral. Not that she wanted to go to his funeral, just wanted to support her sister but the cops would be called if she showed up.

I know my mother has really never spoken to her brother. My mother never talked to her parents that I have ever known. My mom went through somewhere like 10 surgeries and my mom claims her parents never came to see her.

I have already talked to my daughter. If anything my daughter would be one to hold a grudge so I begged her to never do that to her brother. No matter how badly they argue.

Has anyone else ever noticed if history repeats itself in their family? Or is my family the only strange one? I already know addiction can be hereditary. That is something I saw on my mom's side and dad's sides. My dad’s father died of alcoholism the same year I was born. I think my mom’s dad use to be an alcoholic and quit drinking. I can not remember because I never got to hang with my grandparents a lot. They took us camping on holidays but that's all I remember of my grandparents.

Let me know in the comments if anyone else has seen history repeating itself in your family. Do you also not talk to someone in your family? I hate it wish we were a closer family but I don’t see that happening. At my grandma's funeral, I talked to my sister and we said we would talk again however she has not unblocked me online and I just said F’ it, it is what it is. Just wish we did not carry on the same mistakes as our mothers and fathers.

©Kerrie Gutierrez-Diaz 2022 All Rights Reserved

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