Who am I

I am a mother of 5 children. Not all are my blood, but I love the ones that are not like they are my own. I'm learning to be a wedding planner. I'm also a photographer.

I was born in New Hampshire, USA. I am adopted by the two most amazing parents anyone could ever ask for. Even though I'm 28 years old and have been hit with hard times, I still try to do my very best for my children. My boyfriend and I are getting married next Halloween. We share a beautiful daughter together who will be turning 3months old on November 6th. Lets call my boyfriend Eric. Eric has a little boy that will be 5 on New Years, we will call Eric's son Kyle. Kyle is a very energetic child. His biological mother abused him most of his life until I came into the picture 2 years ago and saw what Eric had no knowledge of, and we together reported Kyles mother and she hasn't been very present in his life or trying to better herself for him since then. Kyle is now very happy and full of life. He does fight with jealousy from his new baby sister, but is working on bettering himself everyday.

My oldest son we will call him Cain, he has autism. He is how ever aware of his condition and does not let it effect him. He works so hard to be the best him. Cain is 8years old. currently he is living with my aunt and uncle. I'm not going to hide or sugar coat anything with my readers because that's just not right or honest. I was 20 years old when I had Cain, I was very young and Dumb minded and made a lot of bad choices in my life that I continue to regret on a daily basis. In the result of that, my aunt and uncle took Cain when he was 6 weeks old and has been living with them ever since. I am working as hard as I can to do the best I can to have him come home.

My middle biological son we will name him Jason, (which his nickname is Jason anyways) is 6 years old. He loves his video games and wants to be a youtuber like mommy when he gets older. Jason wants to stream with video games instead of vlogs like I do. He plays minecraft, roblox and many other fun games. He absolutly adores his new baby sister and helps as much as he can. He currently lives with my adopted parents, due to me living in a two bedroom and prefferable school district. I do not like the school district I live in and trying to move closer so Jason and Kyle can attend the same school. He's very sweet but of course like every child, he has his bad days.

My adopted son (which is not legally done yet) we will call him Anthony. he is also 6 years old and lives with his biological father. I came into Anthony's life when he was 6months old and never left. His father(we will call him Andrew) and I are friends and has a time where we dated but nothing to serious. In the time that me and Andrew spent together me and Anthony got very close and he became attached to me. He referred me as Momma. When me and Andre went separate ways, I remained in Anthony's life. He is a lot like Jason and a lot like Kyle.

She's almost 3 months old and cute as a button. My daughter we will call her by her nickname Gaby (pronounced Gobby). Gaby is a very interesting infant. she can almost sit up on her own, she's been able to hold her head up on her own since birth and she's already teething. Gaby does have some health issues though being so young. The doctors are trying to rule it out but think she might have Crones Disease. For those who don't know what that is, let me explain. Crones Disease is inflammatory intestines which causes some to have difficulty having bowel movements. it also causes your intestines to get smooshed in areas that typically need to be removed by surgery. I have learned a lot about Crones because Eric has it. In very rare cases like Eric and Gaby it can be developed at a young age. Eric was diagnosed with it at 7 years old and couldn't have the surgery until he was older. Besides her illness she is a very happy baby.

Then there's Eric. He drives me nuts but he's the sweetest man you will ever meet. He gets picked on because of his race and treated poorly by neighbors and our property manager where we live, but he tries to show his son Kyle that even when people knock him down because of the color of his skin to just pick yourself up and not let them win by being the bigger person. Eric struggles all the time with it or just because of who he is. I get asked all the time "why did you have a baby with a Puerto Rican? Why not stick with your own kind?" I always reply, "What do you mean? I am with my own kind. He's human and I'm human. What does it matter if he's Puerto Rican, not many know Because of my pale skin, but I'm Israeli and no one bats an eye at me for having children that are part Russian and Germen." I love Eric with all my heart. He will go to the ends of the world for anyone even strangers to help them. Even when he's in pain from his illness he still puts a smile on his face and pushes through to make sure the kids don't see his pain.

With all of this being said. We do the best we can as friends, partners, lovers, and as a family. I may not be the greatest parent or person but with the mixed up crazy family I have, I make it through.

My name is Toni Bear and this is just a little taste of my life. I hope you all enjoy my story and I'll be posting again soon. Until then Blessed be and smile when you see people even if you don't know them and they may not be able to see your smile because of the masks we have to wear in public, but it will make you personally feel better.

happy reading!

Toni Bear

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