When Life Brought Me You

I met him sitting in front of my house, smoking a cigarette, deep in thought.

At first, he simply passed by me without speaking, but, then, he came back around and asked if I had another cigarette to spare. I told him that I didn't, but I could share this one with him.

He sat down next to me and we began to talk. He was kind and goofy and he got me out of my funk. Within moments I was laughing. I appreciated that this beautiful stranger was able to come into my life right when I needed him.

As kind as he was, I didn't let myself think of him as anything deeper because I was already in a relationship and wouldn't allow myself to complicate things.

I don't remember what was so upsetting before he came to talk to me, but I was bothered by something my boyfriend had told me. It wasn't a big fight or anything, but it made me sad and, then, out of nowhere, this nice man cheered me up.

I really wanted to become friends with him. I didn't want to miss out on such a kind soul. We hung out a couple of times and I couldn't help liking this person. He was nice to have around. He was somebody that I could just relax around. He didn't know my history or my sadness. I could just be me, before any heartache or pain.

When I finally told my boyfriend about this new friend, he didn't like it. He thought this guy was trying to steal me from him, he thought he had an ulterior motive and didn't want me hanging out with him anymore.

And I listened, but... I didn't know how to tell him.

He was so sweet and kind and I really did like him as a fellow human being quite a lot. I didn't have any impure thoughts, I didn't have a cheater's personality. I wouldn't let anything unethical happen. I just liked being this man's friend. That's all I wanted to do.

But I didn't know how to refuse my boyfriend of his request, so, I just ghosted this new 'friend' of mine. I didn't return his calls or texts, I would even walk inside if I saw him. I know, I know... it was a pretty crappy thing to do, but how could I tell him that I couldn't be his friend because of my boyfriend's orders? I took the cowards way out.

After some time, my boyfriend broke up with me anyway because he couldn't get over the fact that I was hanging out with that guy. The more and more he thought about it, he figured that I actually wanted to be with him instead even though I had stopped hanging out with him over a week ago. It was upsetting, but I didn't know how to change his mind.

So, I figured it was alright for me to hang out with my friend once more and began doing just that. I thought my ex wanted nothing to do with me like people normally do, but he still wanted to hang out sometimes. He acted like he was still into me, as well. And our relationship turned into a friends with benefits thing.

Meanwhile, my brother was living in the same house as me and his young girlfriend was always around. Then, they thought she might be pregnant and acted somewhat happy at first, but it changed quickly. She never took a test and she never went to planned parenthood. She just kept on partying with my brother and bending over in pain from time to time because she was literally killing her baby and both of them were okay with it.

If you've read my other story, "Four-leaf Clover", then, you know what I went through. If not, I had planned on raising a daughter the year before when her heartbeat randomly ceased and I had to give birth to a stillborn little girl. That was the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my whole life. It was the most heartbreaking moment and now I had to hear all about what was going on with these a-holes and watching it all from the front row. It made me mad. Any time I spoke up and told them that it was messed up what they were doing I got told that it was none of my business, but they had no respect for me and they kept keeping me in the loop of what was going on in their pathetic little lives. They didn't care about themselves, the baby, or me. And then, of course, she actually had the audacity to ask me for a tampon later that night. Ugh! I told her no and slammed my door in her face. They were so rude! I just had to step back from them and the situation for my own sanity.

Now, after I experienced losing my daughter, I strongly felt that I'd never want to try having kids again. I didn't know how I'd be able to handle another loss. It was... it was just too much pain, but after some thinking when all of this stupidity went on with my brother. I suddenly realized the main reason why this bothered me so much. She was squandering away her chance when I would love to be a mom again. I was ready to try having a baby for the second time. I was proud to see how far I've come. I've always wanted to be a mother and it was so short-lived last time. I'll always love my daughter. Nothing can ever change that, but I was finally ready to try again and hope for the very best.

Of course, my boyfriend had broken up with me, though...

But... he was a good dad. He had three boys, whom I never got to meet, but he loved them so much, so, I tried my luck and asked him anyway. One night when we were hanging out, I told him that I wanted a baby and I knew he'd be a good father to my child, someone that my child could talk to when they needed and someone that he could love.

So, even though we weren't together anymore, we started trying to have a baby. I didn't mind the thought of being a single mom. I had already prepared myself for that life when I was pregnant with Clover. I just wanted a baby.

This went on for about a week or two of us trying, when my ex-boyfriend said something that changed everything. He told me that he didn't mind helping me out with making a baby, but he couldn't be there for my child. He already had kids with two different women and the holidays are crazy enough. He couldn't make time for another.

I was devastated!

How could he make me think otherwise all this time? I really didn't mind being alone, but I wanted my child to have a father, at least. How could he do this? Needless to say, I stopped trying with him. I couldn't do that to my child and he should've been upfront with me in the beginning.

The next day, my friend came over. I was freaking out and venting to him a little bit. I told him that I didn't know what was going to happen if I were already pregnant. I would still have and love the baby fully, but I felt so bad bringing a child into this world without a father. Then, my friend told me that if I do happen to be pregnant, he'll raise the child as his own. We didn't have to be together, but he'll be here for my baby. I was shocked and asked if he was sure. He said that he's always wanted to be a dad and he'd love it.

This man just kept getting more amazing as time went on.

Then, I got my period! Thank you, thank you, thank you whatever higher power may exist to aid me in this! My ex-boyfriend did not get me pregnant, but... I still wanted to be a mom and my friend still wanted to be a dad.

We decided to continue trying with each other. We became good friends and we didn't have to be in a relationship to make this happen. We would both be there for our child and that was what really mattered.

After a while of this, we kept getting closer in more ways than just physically. We liked each other more and more and, eventually, out of seemingly nowhere, we fell in love.

And then I got pregnant.

And we somehow found happily ever after through all of that.

Everything was backward, nothing happened the 'normal' way, but this is our story. I love the turn of events, the unexpected moments, this journey that led me to him.

We are now married with a three-year-old son and we couldn't be happier. Life has a funny way of working out and I'm so grateful to have the family that I do. I'm so glad that I was able to find the courage to take the chances that I have feared so much in the past.

Everything was worth it in the end.

~S. G. Marin