What nobody sees

In her mind's eye, the chestnut gelding was outstretched trying to reach the highest green pears, his neck straining upwards as the sun glistened on his silky coat, still thick with winter growth.

The image faded, a tear slid down her cheek as she came back to the present, staring at that gnarled old tree, now devoid and bare, it's arms beckoning; it's feet thickly carpeted by crunchy autumn leaves, the gelding nowhere to be seen.

Adeline shivered against the cold and wrapped her thin coat tighter around her. This was the last day of this chapter of her life and she embraced it with equal measures of hope and regret.

She turned and hopped into the car, packed full with dogs, kids and belongings and drove away; away from the place that had been home for 10 years - away from the man who had - little by little - turned into a monster.

The beautiful gelding, now a sway-backed senior whose spritely gait belied his 30 years, was travelling up the highway on a truck an hour ahead -destined for a paddock close by her new home.

Inside the car, things were cramped. She'd had one shot at getting all of her belongings out and inevitably some things got left behind. Adeline didn't know if she would ever see her mother's pressure cooker or coffee pot again or the 100 other things that should have been hers to keep.

But at least her sanity was present and surprisingly - for all the world to see - intact, tucked safely behind her motherhood facade. She couldn't afford it to be any other way, couldn't afford to "lose it" because the custody battle for the kids was still to come.

As she travelled north, her breathing started to calm and so did she. The enormity of what she had achieved so far settled over her, a satisfactory replacement for the heavy burden she was used to carrying around. The 'not-knowing', she thought of it as. Not knowing when the criticisms would come, over what and not knowing when that hand would be raised against her, against her kids. Waiting.

"You showed him what you were made of," her Aunt said barely days later, referring to the last time he had tried it on, when she could take no more abuse and stood up to his drunken, vicious assaults.

She was one of the lucky ones by any account. Plenty of victims of domestic violence didn't make it out alive, let alone to a new life.

And one time, was all it took. He, caught by surprise at her standing her ground, backed down and fell asleep in a drunken heap. She made her plans and instead of cowering every day in dread - waiting for the next time; within a week she was gone.

There was still a long road ahead, but she had taken the first step. Much of it had been her doing and her alone. Sure, there were well-meaning friends, supportive, if not slightly confused family and such. But the courage had to come from within and with it came significant risk - risk that she might not get out in one piece. It was ironic really.

That while the police woman had been sympathetic to her plight, there was little enforcers could do, because the law was on his side, up until he killed her.

So she went far enough away to be an inconvenience, hoping that would be enough.

Little did she know then that another two years would pass before she was truly free, he wasn't giving up without a fight.

Mercifully, another woman was the catalyst, one far stronger than she.

And one who took him on a whole different tangent and as karma would have it, into a world of pain of his own.