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What makes a mother?

Allow me to count the ways!

By H GPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Animal mothers are people too!

Is it such a straightforward thing anymore? Being a mother? Nowadays in a society where you can identify as a potato if you want to, definitions are blurred compared to what they once were. But from what I've been observing for several years is the bias against change in what defines others. A big example would be mothers of children vs. "mothers" of pets. Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones was given those dragon eggs, she didn't birth them; yet, she was called the mother of those dragons. How dare she, except...she CAN dare to call herself that. She can dare all day long. This is because being called a mother isn't as simple as giving birth to a child anymore. It's tagged to any caregiver who displays the very characteristics of nurturing and guidance necessary to ensure survival of the receiver of this care. Couples that are having trouble conceiving will get into the adoption process and after waiting possibly years, finally adopt a child for them to love and care for. The "mother" in this scenario is still not regarded as a mother for having such a big heart and so much love to give a child she didn't bear herself? What about single dads who put down everything to handle their child's needs when they are doing it all on their own? They have to provide way more and be that child's absolute world while still supporting the financial needs of them both.

If you want to be literal, even Merriam-Webster's dictionary doesn't include the passage of a child through a vaginal canal/C-section as the ONLY thing that makes a mother a MOTHER. I don't know about you, but I will never forget the first story I watched on the news about a newborn found in a dumpster near a highschool and the visceral reaction that followed. Most likely, this was a child having a child, but who was grown enough to have voluntary sex with her boyfriend and conceived what she just tossed in the trash like it was nothing. Would we necessarily define her as a mother simply because she gave birth? Out of respect for what MOTHER stands for and all they do to get us to the present, I would say hell no.

Getting right to the matter of my opinion, YOU are a mother if:

1. You provided a safe shelter to a child/animal/person/rock/etc.

2. You endured hardship during your commitment to this child/animal/peanut/etc.

3. Your maternal instincts overrode your own self care because you want to see them taken care of first.

4. You fulfilled all obligations required to keep them in good health and wellness (health insurance, at least seen by a doctor, proper feedings, giving baths, etc.)

5. You love them with all your being and you're happiest when they are happy.

6. You keep them honest by throwing down the hammer when they are not in line because those small transgressions become big and bad transgressions later.

7. You help them develop into who they are meant to be (which no one can ever really know, but at least you give them the foundation).

This isn't an all inclusive thing because again, definitions are blurred a lot these days. And if you don't meet ALL of these things, don't fret. No one is perfect, not even a mother. And yet we are all where we are in our lives now because of our mothers, good or bad, biological or not. So go off, foster/adoptive mothers, animal mothers (I mean the human ones here, obviously. Animals can't read, yo), Mr. moms, red moms, blue moms... you've got quite a title to fill, so do it justice the very, VERY best you can!

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About the Creator

H G

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