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What Does Being A Grandparent Mean To You?

It Means The Whole World To Me

By Carol TownendPublished about a year ago 5 min read
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What Does Being A Grandparent Mean To You?
Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

I never expected that I'd be a Grandmother.

I thought about it, but I never expected the day that I'd become one. I'm in my 40's, and I am surrounded by a myth that grandparents are all elderly.

In fact, I did a search for a picture of a young grandparent, and it returned nothing!

I became a mum at just 18 years old, and my life was full of trauma back then. During my time as a mum, I and my children went through many painful things that I wish we had never gone through.

The worst thing was; in the midst of that trauma, some of which was violent and beyond my control; the only help I got was the blame for a trauma I never asked for or deserved.

I am more than determined to never let my grandchildren or daughter ever have to deal with those traumas, and I am determined to support my grandchildren in their growth and development, as well as to support my daughter in their upbringing.

Some say:

"You don't have Parental Responsibility; Why should you be responsible?"

The hardest job that any young person can do in today's world is to raise a child; in particular, young, single parents who have been through a lot of trauma themselves and are raising children.

The mother to my grandchildren is a very good mum; though she gets very little support, especially in terms of housing, financial support, and practical help.

In today's world in the U.K, even working parents are struggling to keep a roof over their heads and feed their children.

This is where I as my daughter's mum, and I as grandmother to her children come in.

I love waking up in the morning to see my grandson smiling. He has so much energy during the day, that I sometimes think that he might combust because he never sits down! He is on the go, from morning to night.

This, on top of a newborn baby who is close in age, can make parenting even harder for my daughter.

Being a grandmother to me is not something I take lightly. It is a very important role.

One in which I get to love and cherish my wonderful grandchildren, see my daughter's wonderful nurturing side, and have two beautiful young grandchildren to enjoy for the rest of my life.

My daughter and her children live with me. Even though they are not my children, I still have to think about hygiene, safety, support, love, and affection, while also creating the right environment for my wonderful grandchildren to thrive, grow and develop in; and I have to be mindful of giving my daughter all the emotional support and practical help that she needs in order to nurture her children, and so that she can look after herself.

I get it; parents should have their own homes in order to look after their children.

However, the world no longer works like that.

Councils in the UK are deeply struggling with housing for their vulnerable, private renting and mortgages are simply unaffordable for some who are working class, make alone single parents; and then, there are some people who are qualified, yet still struggle to find work.

A history of trauma and abuse left me homeless in the early years when I was parenting.

I ended up in many hostels; and believe me, they are certainly not the right environment for anyone with children.

Many would tell me that they wouldn't have children in today's world because of the housing and money crisis.

If the world stopped producing children; there would be no new generations and humanity would be extinct.

There are many out there in more dire circumstances than my daughter who might not want children, and there are many who do not want children at all.

However, the emotional impact on someone who always wanted a child, but is restricted or in circumstances that won't get better for years, can be severe.

As a grandparent, my duty is to focus on the now; and the now is all about my daughter and her children. Sure, I'm also a carer to someone with disabilities, and yes, many often say:

"Don't you find that difficult?"

To which my reply is:

" Try living through my own children's past; seeing me go through domestic and community abuse, losing home after home, then living in hostel after hostel, and then losing everything and becoming homeless with mental health problems because everyone decided to ignore what I was really going through; instead, choosing to play the blame game while being blind to the fact we were getting hurt."

That was difficult.

  • The truth is; only the government in my country is to blame for my daughter and many other parents' similar situations.
  • My government started the right to buy and sold off the majority of council housing many years ago, which could have been used to help parents like my daughter.
  • My government also made it harder for people to get jobs, because they upped university fees, stopped a lot of funding, and decided that even the most qualified weren't suitable for some jobs. They also seem to think people like me (who have dyscalculia) are useless at most jobs.

These difficulties will either take decades to make right or will never be made right;

There is no longer a right time to have a baby anymore because there is no stability in the world full stop.

For me, being a grandmother is the best feeling in the world, and I certainly do not need parental responsibility in order to help my grandchildren or my daughter.

Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right. However, it is a 'responsibility' without the legalities; and any mum or dad who becomes one should be delighted enough to be able to support the new mum or dad through it, no matter what they or their adult children go through.

If you enjoyed this story; hearts and tips always make me smile and thank you for showing your appreciation.

Also, please subscribe to my stories, so that you can get updates on my new stories.

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About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (3)

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  • Gal Muxabout a year ago

    Heartfelt. I wish you the best as a grandparent and it's touching how much you love your daughter and her children and how you actively strive to show them and to protect them. And yes, we are living in crazy times...

  • Novel Allenabout a year ago

    Many of us still try to do the right thing. A lot of time it goes unappreciated. All we can do is help the best we can. keep doing you. So heartfelt.

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Heartfelt!!! Being a grandparent is the best!!! Left some love!!!

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