Weekend Burnout

Today has been one of those days.

Every little thing that hasn’t gone according to plan has felt so much bigger than it should. On days like this even the simplest of tasks feels unachievable and all I want to do is wallow. Cue a day of mindlessly scrolling on social media instead of doing anything productive.

I don’t know what it is about weekends but it seems that it is much harder to motivate myself. During the week I can get into quite a good routine. I can maintain some semblance of a tidy house, I have the brain space to think about a few tasks I want to achieve each day, I might even be lucky enough to find some time for a bit of self care. Come the weekend and it all goes out the window. The kids are home, we can relax a bit, there is nowhere in particular we need to be most of the time and my husband is around to have an adult chat. And yet, my mood plummets. Why?

Don’t get me wrong, I love being with my little family. Seeing my kids' relationship develop, having lazy lie-ins as a family (granted these are not as relaxing as they once were when there are two little munchkins climbing all over me) and laughing to the silliest of things. So what is it that puts me in a bad mood?

Firstly, I don’t cope well when the house feels like it has been turned upside down. The messier it gets, the more it feels difficult to get it back to how I like it. Trying to tidy around the kids or even trying to get them to help is a fruitless task. It feels utterly pointless.

Secondly, the parenting job ramps up and I find myself refereeing arguments constantly, dealing with snack requests every five minutes and trying to get them to do more than stare at a screen all day.

In short, those two days I used to look forward to before having kids have become mentally exhausting.

It’s at times like this that my mind can slip into old habits, I’ll silently berate myself for not being more fun and I’ll find myself being more snappy with the kids and not parenting in the way I want to. All of this can make my mood ten times worse.

So, I have been asking myself what can I do to get through these days when everything weighs a little heavy. This is what I have come up with:

1. Taking a step back and noticing my triggers. I know that a messy house can make my mood dip. I also know that having the kids around is not going to improve the state of the house. Just acknowledging this allows me to take a deep breath and reset. I know that during the week the clutter won’t be so bad and now is the time to enjoy my time with the kids.

2. Talk. Airing my frustrations with my husband helps get it off my chest. It also means we can make light of the situation and come up with a plan on how we can tackle the situation together. Even just one of us taking the kids out for an hour and giving the other one some time and space to clear away some clutter can help so much,

3. Fresh air. Getting away from the house and going for a family walk is one of my favourite things to do and yet quite often I forget how much I enjoy it until it's actually happening. Bundling us all into the car and finding a place to enjoy the outdoors can give us all a boost when we are suffering from cabin fever.

4. Deep breaths. If I am really struggling and can feel myself getting snappy with everyone I need to take a time out and take some deep breaths. Heading into another room alone for five minutes can really give me the head space needed to take it down a notch or two.

5. Being honest with the kids. Letting them know that I am not feeling my best might not make a huge difference to the current situation but it does show them that we all have down days. Especially if I may have got a bit too grumpy with them, apologising and explaining can really help repair any damage that may have been caused. It might also make the guilt a little easier to bear.

6. Journaling. This has been something I have always wanted to do but have never committed to. Recently I have been making more of an effort to record how I have felt each day, the things I am grateful for and any annoyances I may have. Just the act of writing these things down really makes a huge difference. It can mean I am not stewing on them whilst I am trying to get to sleep and can also help me remember the parts of the day that brought me happiness.

If, like me, you find some days overwhelming and you feel like you are getting through the day on your last nerve, please remember to go easy on yourself. Sometimes we are smashing it and other times we are barely getting by. However you are feeling, you are doing the best you can with what you have and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

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Thank you for reading. Laura and Charlotte are super grateful for your continued support.