Tribute to my little sister

Tribute to Megan Amanda Donahue

Half my heart is in heaven

by Syd Donahue

From the moment you left nothing felt the same

Madness and depression swam through my veins

My love for you was endless, to infinity and beyond

It seems like yesterday we were sitting by the pond

This new reality doesn’t feel real

But pain and agony is what I feel

There’s a void in my heart that no one can fill

You were my sister you knew the drill

My best friend till the end, which came way too quick,

All these emotions I’m feeling really hit like a brick.

My faith was already shaky, barely hanging by a thread,

Then He took you away from me and there’s nothing I could’ve said

To make a difference with this outcome that he has planned,

Even when I cry and scream out that “I don’t understand”

But somewhere inside me a flame still burns,

I see your face everywhere I go, you’re around every turn

Anger and sadness turn to good memories and joy

Our bond was so tight there was nothing that could destroy

Not even death himself, our love was too strong

But now you’re all I think about when I hear these songs

I know heaven is real this I do believe,

Nothing can change that, it’s what I perceive.

Half my heart is in heaven, it’s where you rest in piece,

But it’s hard to let you go but I need to release

All this guilt that I feel inside of me

It needs to be set free

Deep down I feel it’s my fault and I’m losing my sanity,

I really need you to help me get through this after all you’re my clarity.

You were there during my darkest hour

Through thick and thin even when shit got sour.

For so many years you stood by my side

When I was blind you were my guide.

Living without you now it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,

Moving on is a reality but I’ll never forget you.

The good and the bad, oh the memories that flood my head,

I wished it would’ve been me instead.

I’d take your place in a second, and there’d be no regret

All I hear is your voice while smoking on this cigarette.

The image of you in the casket is imprinted in my brain

Some nights it doesn’t seem real and drives me insane

And In this world, you are gone,

But the spirit of you will forever live on

Through me and all the humans you’ve ever met,

You were so beautiful, incredible, and had a contagious laugh, that nobody could forget

You light up every room that you walked in,

God taking you away from this earth should be a sin.

But you’re in a better place,

This is something I have to face,

Even if I don’t wanna embrace,

Nobody can possibly replace

You were my hero, my side kick, and more,

Fuck what did He do this to me for?!

Damnit God I’m so mad at you!

But I can’t see the bigger picture so I don’t have a clue....

You have this plan so big and so bold,

Even when it left the other half of my heart, broken and cold.

Mixed emotions take control of me, but I won’t let the demons win

Even when my thoughts and faith are wearing thin.

My love for you is stronger than anything I’ll ever have to endure,

For you were the light, burning bright innocent and pure.

You get me through the darkest of nights even now,

You still feel alive in my heart somehow.

You saved my life by showing me the way,

But it’s bullshit that you’re life was the price to pay

My last words to you I’ll never forget;

My Bestfriend, my family, I’m so glad we met

You were my savior and I can’t ever thank you enough

You were the ONLY one there when shit got too rough

I love you always to the moon and back,

Love was something between us that never had lacked

You loved me too, this I know

Our love for each other sprouted years ago

As I say to myself like a song stuck on repeat,

I love you fam, but this really knocked me off my feet

I’m starting to learn the ways of this new life,

I don’t resort to drugs or even a knife.

Im staying strong for you, you made me a better human being.

I’m walking a different path because of what I’ve been seeing.

As I look up to the sky where you finally lay to rest,

I can’t help but cry and give life all my best.

Because you live on inside me,

To my heart you’re the only one who held the key.

As I said to you then and I’ll say again now,

I danced with the devil but never did I bow.

I won’t give up I’m too headstrong

Because of your love there’s nothing I can’t take on!

As I see the stars that make up your memory,

Somehow being here by the water is the only remedy.

As they take shape of your essence, and display all your colors,

You’re letting me know you’re here with me as well as the others.

I may feel alone but you’re always with me inside,

As I see the stars, I put all my doubts iand feelings aside.

I whisper under my breath like I did that day

Forever will I speak this, it’s the truth I say

“It’s not goodbye it’s until we meet again,

I will always love you, and be with you my bestfriend”.