To the Firefighters....

During everything that has been done to me, when two years ago I wanted to do employment cases for police, EMS, and firefighters and public employees..which somehow the firefighters have always managed to help me hold on to that dream by being the only ones who haven't made it harder while they couldn't do anything to but watch law enforcement and EMS do anything but protect and serve..You still remain my heroes. I don't blame every police officer, every EMT..you just don't victimize one of your own. There is not a firefighter I can say has ever done that.

When I lived in AZ, Tucson Fire was friends aka Family. Holidays were spent with off-duty firefighters, and sheriff's deputies turkey bowling in grocery stores (with permission), presents were bought for their wives and children when they were too busy and exhausted to do it, pranks were pulled like dumping water on me asleep on my couch, only to be given brand new PJ's and taken out to IHOP, "kidnapped with consent" and taken to a movie when I was shutting myself off from the world. When I moved to Ga in 2012, those friends didn't come with me. Not because we ever had a fight but because I think they always thought I would come home. They never understood why I left, didn't know how to ask me to stay, and always thought I would come back and we would pick off where we left off. Starting to think they were right.

I don't mention it often because he was this amazing man who has always had a piece of my heart, but I dated a firefighter for about a year. Very few people knew except his brothers and sisters because he was very private man. I am going to continue to respect that privacy for him and his children. He was the closest to the love of my life I had met at the point and and someone I could never forget. I was a juvenile probation officer, and he was a firefighter going through a nasty divorce. I wasn't the cause of it but he went from friend to family to someone I miss dearly these days. He always had time for me, always made sure someone knew if I needed something I had someone to call because my biological family was never family. He always made me a priority, he always put my welfare above his own and he loved me no matter what. He left an impression on me that all these years later helped inspire what I call my Carebear project. The brotherhood I saw in that firehouse makes me miss them. The things they taught me, I have incorporated into my project. The unity, the pure love of people working together is the foundation of Carebear. It is what I believed law enforcement to be, and though colleagues on LinkedIn is what I am reminded it is in other places besides Georgia. To the law enforcement reading this article, please know I don't hold you responsible for the actions of many, but I have to give the firefighters credit where they don't often get it.

There are some special men I have to dedicate this article to.. Michael Minard with Savannah Fire, to a firefighter in Atlanta ( I am so sorry I didn't get your name, but I hope you got the thank you card) who was there when I reported my sexual assault and treated me with more respect than any police officer, EMT, doctor or nurse following. To the Gainesville Fire department..Chad, Keith, Justin, Dustin, Eric, Lackey, you were adopted because of your presence, you made me feel safe. Me meeting you was nothing anyone could have set up, it was a divine intervention. When I see fire department units go by I don't think zebras I remember angels. I had wanted to work for Hall County dispatch, but that was derailed by another few rounds of hell of DV shelters and being dumped in the street by them, by Avita for screwing up my housing so I could make Hall County home. I will never forget after having to report to law enforcement my father's death threats to the men who destroyed my career that a fire angel while I was in pain gave me more medical care than the hospital did, that merely hearing someone be concerned about firefighters being careful with me, and saying " I am sorry, you have just been through it" by a firefighter acknowledging the emotional trauma that continues 10 months later with no headway, being separated from my professional aspirations, my animals, my friends, my family for two years, and struggling physically and financially, someone saw me. Someone believed me, someone saw me in pain and didn't want me to go through anymore. Thank you. You have been adopted family because you reminded me of the one I had in AZ, the people who have been out of my life for so long I only had memories of them to cling to. Thank you for going above the call of duty. Thank you for being there. I still carry you with me in my heart every day. I still carry wanting to help you with anything I can as a an attorney. I still want to be who you come to when you are in trouble. I still look up at the sky at night and talk to each of you. knowing you can't hear me or help because being your own best friend with the weight of the world, and trying to have to save the lives of people who care nothing about you is a burden no one should carry. My words may not reach you when they are spoken but at least here I can make sure they are seen. In my world, there is no division but I have to give credit where it is due..you are the best firefighters of the millennium.

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