Things a Dad Should Never Mansplain

by Sherry Campbell 2 years ago in parents

Though they may mean well, dads tend to dip their toes into topics that they have no place in speaking on. These are the top ten things a dad should never mansplain.

Things a Dad Should Never Mansplain

Mansplaining is defined as: "(of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing."

The basic point of this article is that men should not tell their girlfriend, wife, or really any woman in his life what to do with her body, her feminine issues, or really anything to do with managing her lifestyle as a mom.

Though we know you dads mean well, these are the topics that should be drastically avoided. The top ten things a dad should never mansplain will steer you clean from arguments, eye rolling, and scoffing.

Her emotions are just hormonal.

The first thing a dad should never mansplain is one of the most common painful conversations many couples have had. Though there is nothing wrong with explaining our hormones and our hormonal cycles to men so they can better understand our emotions and symptoms, this is no excuse for them to disregard our emotions because they could be reactions to hormones.

No matter if we're PMSing or really anything to do with our hormonal cycle, this doesn't mean our emotions are not real. And because they have a trigger is even more of a reason for them to be strong.

If your girlfriend is crying a few days before her period, she's still upset, even if the tears have a little bit of an aid. There's really no such thing as emotions "just" being hormonal.

Anything to Do with Her Breastfeeding Process

What might seem like an obvious thing a dad should never mansplain, really anything to do with her breastfeeding process should be avoided. However, this does not mean you have to avoid the topic altogether.

Mansplaining is simply due to the tone of the conversation, and men should really never tell a woman what she should do with her body, especially when it comes to something as intimate as this.

What a woman chooses to do for her baby when it comes to feeding is her business, and if breastfeeding is too much for a woman, she shouldn't be looked down on for it. Breastfeeding is not for everyone, and it should not even be a discussion if you disagree.

She should reconsider her time management.

This is especially true for new mothers who might not have their lifestyle down quite yet, this conversation can be approached much nicer. If you feel that your wife should reconsider her time management, then allow the conversation to go there by her choice.

Avoid telling her what to do, and rather offer a helping hand in getting them more organized instead. Plus, if it is that noticeable that your wife is overworked and stressed, it is apparent that this is your time to step in and help.

This doesn't mean that she is completely helpless, and maybe she is tired of asking for help. Instead, do so without her even having to look for you, you'll be there anyway.

What to Do During Labor

Much like breastfeeding, this topic is one step up for one of the top things a dad should never mansplain. If you will never go through something similar to a situation like this, then why are you giving advice?

That would be like giving advice to a pilot about how to fly the plane. Giving birth is one of the most intense things a woman's body will endure, and finding the right process for your wife is something that only she can do.

Like anything, you will, of course, be needed for support and help, but telling her what you think she should do is a no-no.

You're sure you want to eat that?

This is something a man should never ask to any woman, no matter how confident they are in their body, no matter how much they are eating, and no matter if they are on a diet or not.

Women never want a man to judge them on their food choices, especially their spouse. And trying to tell your wife how to eat is the best way to get a kick in the shin. Just avoid the conversation altogether. This also goes for, "You haven't been to the gym in a while."

When Her Breasts "Look" Like They're Ready for Pumping

Going along with the same topic of avoiding breastfeeding advice, telling a woman when or where to breastfeed is something a dad should never mansplain. As an easy tip to avoid mansplaining altogether, if you'll never experience something that you're giving advice on, just hold back.

She needs more sleep.

Telling a woman that she "looks tired" is something you want to avoid at all costs. Even if you're genuinely concerned for her lack of sleep, she is going to immediately assume that you're referring to her appearance.

And rightly so, you're telling that she looks tired. No one looks great when they're tired. So instead of doing this, tell her that you'll do finish the load of laundry, and let her go to bed early that night. This way you avoid any insulting.

She may want to add a few chores to her list.

Reminding her the chores that she needs to get done, as well as adding a few extras to her list, is a tricky subject. Though they will happily get them done, it all depends on your approach. If you write her a note telling her she needs to clean your suit, that's not going to go so well.

As one of the things a dad should never mansplain, telling her what she needs to do for you is not the way to go. Her chores for you are not to be expected, but rather appreciated. When she makes you dinner every night, there should be a "thank you" at the end of your meal.

So when you're looking for her to do something for you, especially a new mother who has her hands full, ask her if she could do it for you, rather than telling her to.

Diagnosing Anything that Has to Do with Her Low Libido

If you've done a quick Google search on your wife's feminine issues, you're not qualified to diagnose her with anything. And pretending like you understand the workings of her body is the easiest way to fall into mansplaining.

And even simply telling her to see a doctor about something as sensitive as low libido says that you could care less about trying to fix the issue together. Instead, talk to her about her feelings, how she feels the two of you could fix things, and go from there.

This is a very popular issue among couples every year that have recently had a baby together. But it takes a strong relationship that is double sided to tackle the issue.

To complete our list of the things a dad should never mansplain with a bit of a lighthearted note, the ever-debated question of childbirth versus getting kicked in the balls is not typically a debate you should have with a woman who has endured childbirth. And the best way a woman can win this argument is asking a simple question, "Do you want to pop out our next one?"

Though a bit silly, this video explains the facts that the two are too hard to compare, and when it comes down to it, they are equal. However, women endure pain after the birth, remember?

They have to go through stitches, soreness, and many more fun things after birth. Plus, taking care of a brand new human in the world. And we won't even get into post-C-section.

parents
Sherry Campbell
Sherry Campbell
Read next: Allie on the Sand
Sherry Campbell

Second grade teacher by day, at home therapist for two middle school daughters by night.

See all posts by Sherry Campbell