Giving Birth for the First Time

I started thinking about labor the day I found out I was pregnant, November 20th, 2016. Thinking? More like worrying! You don't realize you're going to be delivering a little human until you know you have no other choice. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely happy and excited; it was starting a new chapter in my life. But I've always been a crybaby when it came to pain, so of course, the panic of labor started. I started watching videos of women giving labor, and honestly, it scared me even more, so I decided to not look at those and not let my anxiety get to me until I was at least half way or more through my pregnancy, because I obviously still had a long way to go.

I was on my second trimester, going to my third, when I realized how close I was getting to labor. My anxiety started to hit me. I would stay up late at night, looking through videos on Youtube, asking some friends that already had the experience, and reading other women's opinions on giving birth. I would stay up all night just thinking, Oh my gosh! I'm not going to be able to do that, my body is just not made for that! Sometimes I would even feel like crying, and the internet was not making it any better. This anxiety went on until I hit eight months. Once you're almost there, you just kind of accept the fact that it's happening. I was feeling just as much excitement as I was feeling anxious.

The day came—keep in mind, I went three days with contractions and had to get induced because my daughter was way too comfortable. My labor experience was pretty fast, thank god. I didn't say it was easy, though. I had so much pain when I was in the hospital that I begged for an epidural. The problem with me was that I wasn't dilated enough, so I couldn't go into labor, although I was contracting every five minutes, and even when I was at home, it was just not enough for labor or epidural. Eventually, I dilated three-four, which meant epidural time. When I tell you that my anxiety for the epidural shot was a waste of time and good sleep, I'm not lying. Every body is different, so I can't say that you won't feel it when they do it, but speaking from someone that hates needles and never got surgery before or broke any bones on their body, it wasn't bad at all. It was fast. It definitely did not compare to my contractions and I barely felt a thing.

After that, I felt so much relief. That shot was one of the main things that gave me anxiety. Once the epidural started kicking in, I was feeling ten times better; I was pain-free. Then they broke my water, which, I don't remember if it was before or after my epidural, and I also don't remember it hurting me, and had my daughter an hour or less after that.

July 25th, 2017; Best day of my life, and even though I went through so much anxiety and contraction pain, I wouldn't change it, or her, for the world. This goes out to any first time expecting mothers that are feeling the exact same way I was, because when I was in your spot, I wish I would've had someone to tell me this. Everybody's experience is different, but it's not as bad as people make it seem. You will be just fine.