The Woman With All The Kids

When she was a child she would sit quietly in the corner for hours just playing with her barbies; minding her own business because she didn’t want to be yelled at for anything. She was adopted by her grandparents, but they didn’t really want her and they had no problem telling her that every chance they got. After a while she started to believe nobody wanted her. When she made it into her teenage years she was still quiet, but she didn’t play with barbies anymore. She played with drugs instead. And spent a lot of time wondering if her birth parents knew where they left her. She was abused in all forms in that house and treated like she shouldn’t have been born.

She almost died a few times, but it never stopped her. The drugs numbed the hurt that was happening at home. And she was told she wasn’t wanted and she would never be anything but a whore like her mother so many times that she never planned for a future. So dying from too many drugs didn’t scare her, it was better than being beaten to death.

The only thing she did know about her future was that if she ever had children of her own that she would be the adult in their life that she never had. She would love them and show them more love than she ever got. And she would never let anyone hurt her babies the way the people who were supposed to protect her hurt her.

Then when she was seventeen she met a man with two kids and a crazy baby mama.

Immediately she knew she had to be a part of their lives forever. And she would do anything to do just that. Their dad was always working or getting stoned and their mom was always paying attention to everyone and everything that wasn’t them. She hated watching it and knew that they needed someone who would always love them. She knew it had to be her. She would love and protect them with everything she had and didn’t care what it took.

When she first met the children the youngest, a little girl would mean mug her and throw her bottle at her every time she came around and the little boy was nothing but a cuddle bug. All love and cuteness between them and all she wanted was to hold onto that love forever.

She loved being their stepmom.

So much so that when their dad ended up in jail for a violation of probation, she didn’t hesitate she stepped up to the plate and helped their mother raise them. She was just there for them because it was the only thing that ever felt right in her life. She just knew she had to give these babies everything she had and there could be nothing to stop that. Even though their birth mother didn’t like her simply because she was with their dad. Which makes no sense, but she didn’t care she was going to do everything she could to be there for them like she promised them she would.

She spent days with them. Gave them baths and fed them and took them to the park. She did everything with them. When people asked her whose children they were she would lie and say she had kids young and they look like their dad.

The children were with her for so long that she ended up potty training the little girl, doing their birthday party for them, and teaching them how to brush their own teeth. And other daily activities. She never thought she would be a mom, but they were teaching her how to love another human.

She continued to take care of them every day for months. And then one day after their dad got out of jail, their birth mother got mad about something their dad did and took them away. She felt like her whole heart got ripped out of her chest. She spent months worrying about them. She was constantly wondering if they were as sad as her and just the thought of them being as sad as her absolutely tore her apart. They had a bond and she didn’t want them to think she would ever willingly leave them. She would never do that. She couldn’t imagine intentionally hurting them. They were just too small to understand that. And since their birth mother didn’t like their stepmom and was mad at daddy she was only telling them only god knows what and making them think only god knows what.

But she could never give up on them or leave them in pain like that. And she just prayed they knew that. She hoped one day she would see them again.

Months turned into years with them, but in the meantime, she married and had children with their father. Giving them younger siblings and hoping one day they would know each other.

Unfortunately, though she was never really in love with their father and only married him because when their birth mother left with them she got into trouble and the children got put in foster care. The foster care lady told them it would look better if they were married so she agreed. She didn’t even hesitate. She just did it because that meant she would be able to be a part of their lives.

But he was really abusive physically and mentally. He would choke her out and assault her on a daily basis. She just stayed so she could be a part of their lives someday and she really wanted her babies to have their father. But it got to the point she couldn’t take anymore. He had broken her down to the point that if she didn’t leave her babies wouldn’t have her either and that wasn’t fair to them so she packed everything she could and walked away.

She was done being weak. He wasn’t worth her life. And she knew she and her babies deserved better.

So she filed for divorce and got her own place with her babies. Then their father decided that he didn’t want them if he couldn’t have her, so she never heard from him again. Told her to find a new man so they could have a daddy. She let it hurt, but then she moved on and gave her babies enough love to cover what their dad couldn’t.

She worked so much that he barely ever saw her babies. Their dad didn’t pay child support so she had to make up for what he didn’t help with. The babies wanted and needed things and it was over her dead body that her babies would go without anything no matter what she had to do. A lot of her time was spent working twenty-one-hour shifts as a server at the local burger shack, but her children knew she worked so much to make sure they were happy. And they appreciated everything she ever did for them.

Even when the days were rough they knew they were everything to her and she couldn’t imagine life without them in it. Her babies were constantly telling her they loved her and that she was the best mom ever and her favorite response was she tries every day all day.

They knew they were loved.

And that was the most important part to her.

She still prayed every day that one day she would see the first children to ever call her mama and her children would meet their older siblings.

Until then she kept working and kept hoping.

One day it will happen. She had hope and she wasn’t letting that hope go.