The Secret in the Picture

The house was so full of people that Lyn couldn’t breathe. She had to get out but couldn’t. She couldn’t just walk out. Mom would want her to stay. She would want her smile through her tears, her pain, and to comfort others in her own grief. Mom would tell her that it would help her to heal because all the people that loved her mom also loved her and Andrea. Mom had told her to help her sister, to be there for her. That she would need her help. Lyn yelled at her mom when she said that to her that day, just a couple of weeks ago.

“Why, Mom?” she screamed, “Andrea hasn’t been here for us other than a few weekends a year just to say she could only stay a little while. All this time you have been sick. Where has she been?”

Mom had always made excuses for Andy, about her work, and how it’s not that easy to fly across the country. But Lyn wasn’t really mad at Andy. She was mad at her mom-- mad at her for dying and leaving her alone at 20 years old. Lyn loved her sister, but the fifteen-year age difference kept them from having memories, or anything else, in common. Lyn was only 3 years-old when Andy went away to college. Andy never came back to live at home after that other than to visit over holidays or short summer vacations. And when she was home, everything was weird. Mom would always whisper, and Andy would accuse Mom of still trying to control her. Those arguments happened when Lyn was smaller. They happened less as she got older because Andy visited less. They weren’t strangers, but they weren’t close, either. And, Mom, well Lyn thought she was ridiculously old when she had her at 50--a menopause baby—a real surprise. Andrea’s and Lyn’s dad died from a heart attack 10 years prior. He was 10 years older than Mom, but now, here Mom was dead at 70 just like him. Now it was just the two of them.

Lyn realized how lost in thought she was when she found herself swallowed up in the massive embrace of her Uncle Kenny, her mom’s only sibling. Then Auntie Flora, his wife, pulled her back from him and held her in a side embrace. Lyn leaned her head against Flora’s neck. She simultaneously felt and smelled warm sunshine radiating from her beloved auntie. She had always adored Auntie Flora. She was smart, beautiful, younger than all the other adults in her life except for her sister Andy and was hands down one of her most favorite people in the world. When Lyn was a teenager, Flora always helped her talk her mom into letting her go out and do things with her friends. She also saved Lyn a few times when she found herself in sticky situations. She even pretended to be Lyn’s mom once to help her get birth control pills after she had a pregnancy scare. That was terrifying. She was 16 and nowhere near prepared to have a kid.

As Lyn rested against her aunt-- lost again in her memories, Andy slipped in-between Auntie Flora and Uncle Kenny, lacing her arms through theirs, while laying her cheek against Lyn’s. “I guess it’s just us, now. Why does our family feel so small without Mom here?” Andy whispered as tears began to stream down her face. Uncle Kenny and Auntie Flora hugged both of their nieces tightly and assured them they were not alone. They suggested that it was time to bid all the friends and distant relatives goodbye as the end of their mother’s wake neared.

Fortunately, they had held the wake in their mother’s home so they could all stay for the night. In the morning, their mother’s estate attorney would be coming by to read her last will and testament. Lyn was so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that she bid the other’s goodnight and went to her room to prepare for bed. Once she was in bed, she reached for her cell phone to set an alarm. She didn’t want to oversleep in the morning. She realized her phone was not on the nightstand, so she got up to look for it. As she made her way down the hallway, she heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen. She heard Andrea say, “She deserves to hear it from me, not a lawyer that she’s never met before.” As Lyn walked into the kitchen, she found her auntie, uncle, and Andy sitting close together at the kitchen table. “Tell who what?” Lyn asked. “What are you guys talking about so secretively?” Uncle Kenny said, “We’re sorry, honey. We were trying to keep it down so that we wouldn’t disturb you. We know it’s been tough on you these last several weeks.”

He was right. Lyn was exhausted, but now she felt wide awake. Something was going on. They were discussing her. She was sure of it. She sat down at the table and hugged her sister to her. She said, “I’m so glad you are here, Andy. I’m sorry if I have been a brat toward you. I really couldn’t have made it these last two weeks without you and Auntie Flora and Uncle Kenny. Anyway, what’s going on? What are you all trying to protect me from now? I’m not a child anymore. When I return to college next semester, I’ll only have two more semesters to go before I graduate. Please treat me like an adult. I promised Mom I would be okay; I would be strong.” As she was talking, she noticed that Andy’s arms were resting on top of a small black notebook. It looked very sturdy, but it was worn on the edges. “What’s that?” she said as she tried to tug the notebook out from under her sister’s arms. Andy grabbed onto the little notebook, telling Lyn that it was her diary, a diary she had had since she was 15-years old.

Lyn noticed an envelope sticking out of the bottom of the black notebook, and as she was saying, “It sure doesn’t look like a diary,” she reached to the back of notebook and pulled the envelope out. Before Andy could do anything, Lyn read aloud the front of the envelope, “For my precious Lyn. I hope you forgive me. The money in this envelope is for you and Andy to take a trip and spend time getting to know one another better.” Lyn looked questioningly at everyone. “What is this? What is Mom talking about? Why would I need to forgive her?” Andy seemed to be searching for words but had instead only found tears. Auntie Flora and Uncle Kenny were trying to talk her into going to bed and save the discussion for tomorrow.

It all sounded insane to Lyn, so she gave her attention back to the envelope, and as she peered inside, she gasped. It was a cashier’s check written out to her for $20,000. Behind the check was a photograph. She pulled the photograph out and gazed at it. At first, she thought she recognized the picture as one of herself as a baby, and Andy was holding her. There were quite a few pictures of Andy holding her as a baby and up through the years, but this one was different. Something was odd. Her brain was trying to make sense of it. Andy reached for her hand and grasped it. Then Lyn realized why the picture was so odd. Andy was in a hospital bed, in a hospital room, holding a baby, but it couldn’t be her, Lyn. Had Andy had a baby? What happened to the baby? Lyn looked at her aunt and uncle and then let her eyes look directly into Andy’s waterfilled eyes. “What is this? Why are you in a hospital bed holding that baby? What happened to the baby?” Lyn’s voice started trembling as she felt realization settling in. Her aunt sighed and gave both of her nieces tight hugs and then started to make coffee. Their uncle gave both their hands a gentle squeeze as Andy had kept her grasp of Lyn’s.

Andy laid the small black notebook in front of Lyn as she stood up and took her sister’s hand. “Let’s go to the living room so we can be more comfortable. It’s going to be a long night. We have a lot to talk about. Much of what I have to share is in that notebook, but I want us to read it together. It all started with you.”