The Little Black Notebook

The Little Black Notebook

Kim Kelley stared down at the book in her hand and the letter that come along with it, for she never imagined this would happen. The sun was rising on that summer morning in early July of 1987. She arose, walked downstairs in her pajamas, and turned on the light in her kitchen. She made coffee, black, no cream or sugar, just how she liked it. She toasted a bagel for her breakfast and a banana. When breakfast was made, she poured her coffee in a large mug with the words “USA” printed on it. There she was on the crossroads wondering on this day about what direction to take in life. Kim thought to herself, “I am sitting at my kitchen table with my coffee and breakfast in Sydney Australia, in a beautiful apartment, surrounded by camaras, photo albums, film containers and books for her research. I have a boyfriend, a career that I love. Why am I feeling this way?” She temporarily shrugged off her feelings.

Kim had a busy day planned and the last several had been hectic. Kim was a wildlife photographer living in Australia. Her fiancé Ethan was journalist working in the Outback. She was having cold feet about getting married. Kim was tall, slender with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes She was thirty- four years old, pretty, very fit, but at the age where she felt the desire to have children was lessening with every year. Ethan wanted a family, he and felt that he had been patient for her. He wanted marriage and family. Kim liked the adventure that a single life afforded her. She had the freedom to come and go as she pleased. Kim did not even want a pet. She liked being on the road to somewhere else. Ethan wanted her to live with him and his parents and settle down. They had been together for seven years. Truth be told, Kim was not sure that she desired marriage and her own children.

Kim thought of family. She had no family in Australia and she not been back to the United States in three years when her grandfather died. Ethan’s family were a ranch family about eight hours away, so Kim spent far more time with them. Kim was from South Carolina, Charleston to be exact. She was the middle child in a family of seven kids and Kim was the black sheep. She felt overlooked and at times outright unwanted. She left home in the fall of 1970 when she was seventeen and stayed away by choice, going home for large family events. Kim’s father had been killed in a car accident during the winter of 1969, and the “happy family” dynamic had disintegrated.

Kim had picked up her mail yesterday, and barely glanced at it. Ethan lived there only half of the time, which Kim liked, but Ethan paid the bills on his own insistence, which Kim did not like. It made her feel less independent to depend on him. She was toying with asking him to stop or have her move out. Kim thought to herself, “We are not married, and he is only here some of the time, so I should take care of my own expenses.” Kim had been putting money away however for a rainy day. She had been considering returning home to the States just to get her head straight, make some decisions and spend time with her family. She had three brothers, two sisters, five nieces and three nephews. She also had a grandmother. She looked down at her mail. In a moment she had a lightning- bolt revelation.

Yesterday, a package had arrived addressed to her, a letter, and a little black notebook from Kim’s grandmother Rosalynn Kelley. Rosalynn’s husband, Miles Kelley passed away three years before following a short illness at the age of 85. Miles had been a newspaperman, always on the hunt for a story, inherited the instincts and business from his father, and he met Rosalynn in 1915 after she submitted stories to the newspaper. Miles and Rosalynn married in 1917 and had their first child in 1918, son named Stephen who was Kim’s father. Kim and Rosalynn were not close, and Rosalynn made her feelings about Kim’s choices of profession, man, and home to be quite clear. Rosalynn was supportive of her children and grandchildren, but she struggled when their choices made no sense to her. Kim took Rosalynn’s expressed opinions as a lack of support, understanding and to an extent, love.

Kim opened the letter and read it. The notebook was Rosalynn’s story, written by Rosalynn, and sent from Charleston. Rosalynn had written a certified check to Kim the sum of $20,000 and the little black notebook. The letter expressed Rosalynn’s desire for Kim to tell the family’s story in written and photographic form, to tell a great story, a great love story. The $20,000 was intended to help Kim to get started. The family lawyer, Rosalynn stated, would given further assistance if needed and of course there was the rest of the family. Finally, Rosalynn, without getting overly sentimental, expressed her love for her family including Kim. The telephone rang. Kim accidently dropped her coffee cup. She, with irritation, thought, “Who would call me this early in the morning?” There was only one person she knew of: Ethan.

She answered, “Hello?”

Ethan answered in his Australian accent, “Kim Baby it’s me!”

Kim was annoyed but still happy to hear his calming voice. She said, “Hey Ethan.”

Ethan was a tall, ruggedly handsome Australian. Ethan loved her, but he struggled about how to express his love verbally. Paying for the apartment was his way of telling her. He did not feel she appreciated his gesture, he felt that Kim believed he was trying to control her and their relationship. On this day, Ethan was hoping for more enthusiasm from her, as Kim figured it, way more than she was capable of this early in the morning and before her coffee addiction had been tended to and she stomach had some food. Ethan was a big breakfast eater, early morning riser, ready to go right of bed kind of person. Kim was not a morning person, she was a “night owl.” She was running on four hours of sleep. In moments like this she wondered if she and Ethan were compatible. Ethan said, “That’s not much of hello.”

Kim said, “Ethan, you know me. It is early, I am just up after having little sleep, and had no coffee yet, although I made and poured my coffee. When the phone rang, I dropped my full coffee mug.”

Ethan was less than sympathetic. “Okay well I will let you get it cleaned up, just make sure you get it all up, don’t want the floor with coffee left on it.”

Kim remarked, “Yes Ethan, I know.” She went to the kitchen, took another coffee mug out of the cabinet, and placed it on the granite countertop. She grabbed the garage can, knelt on the floor, and picked up the large pieces of the broken coffee cup on the tiled, and fortunately uncarpeted floor. She threw the pieces away and set the can aside for the bag to be taken out with the rest of the trash. She grabbed the mop and broom and placed the phone down, hitting the speaker phone button, so she could still speak with Ethan. She called, “Ethan, I have you on speaker phone, so I can do this and still talk with you.”

Ethan said, “Talk with me about what, your housekeeping skills, your job or ability to hang on to your coffee?

Kim took a deep sign and said, “None of the above. You won’t believe what arrived in the mail yesterday.”

Ethan asked, “You want me to guess?”

Kim put down the broom and paper towels that she was using to clean up the broken mug and spilled coffee and said, “It is a package from my grandmother.”

Ethan said, “Really, the old lady sent you a package from Charleston. What is it?”

Kim said, “It is a letter from her and a notebook.”

Ethan asked, “A what?”

Kim said, “A notebook, a little black notebook, her journal, a letter telling me what she wants me to do with her journal and a certified check for $20,000.”

Ethan was stunned, and as he stood there, from his parents’ ranch, unable to see Kim or the contents in her hand, he was unknowing of what to say or how to react. She heard him in his parent’s kitchen making his typical large breakfast and his own coffee. Kim asked him, “Did you hear me?”

Ethan said, “Yeah, I heard.”

Kim asked, “So what do you think?”

Ethan said, “I don’t know what to think. I am thinking that I am anxious to read it myself. Have you read the journal?”

Kim said, “No honey I just opened it.”

Ethan asked, “So you have no idea what it says? Man, Kim, think of all the stories she could tell. All the people she has known, met, scared the heck out of.” He laughed, but he admittedly was intimidated by Rosalynn. She intimidated Ethan from the very first moment he met her finally three years ago at Kim’s sister’s wedding. He also admitted nervously, “I am wondering what we could do for us with $20,000.”

Kim’s eyes enlarged and her face became tense as her hands clenched a little. The thought that he could think or speak that angered her. First, that money was not theirs, not his. Kim and he were not married, and he had no claim, legal or moral to the money. Second, the money was sent from Rosalynn to Kim with a specific desire. Even though Kim and Rosalynn were not close, Kim was not the kind of person to take money from someone for a job or a favor and then not deliver. Moreover, Rosalynn was her grandmother, her family. Kim still was in shock about Rosalynn’s request. Rosalynn wanted Kim to make a journalistic record, an account of the family’s story. What could be in that little black notebook? What secrets could she tell? Rosalynn had born on Christmas Day in the year 1900, lived through the world wars, the depression, decades of historical events, lived through losing her parents, her brothers in World War I, her son in 1968, and her husband just a few years ago, and many more people along the way. What had Rosalynn seen and done? Maybe she had met a president or a queen, what about relationships with other men? What about the family history that went to the 1700’s when Rosalynn’s family immigrated to South Carolina? Kim needed to talk with Rosalynn, although she asked herself, “Is this a one- time conversation that we can have on the phone?” She thought no.

Ethan said, “Kim, are you there?”

Kim answered, “Yeah, I am here.”

Ethan asked, “What are you thinking?”

Kim grabbed her address book and looked for Rosalynn’s phone number said, “I am thinking that I need to buy some airline tickets to South Carolina. I have a phone call to make. And what secrets does this mysterious little black notebook hold?” 24 hours later, Kim was boarding a plane for a long trip home.